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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Advice please - confrontation looming with my parents

487 replies

imustbemadasaboxoffrogs · 07/02/2011 20:20

In summary. They favour my brother's elder daughter have done for years.

But it was her birthday recently. My kids get £10 in an envelope, DD2 got a home made dolls house.

Neice got an Ipod Touch from them.

I am going to have to speak to them - my two are gutted. (DN has been crowing by email to DD1)

Help me frame the conversation so it doesn't descend into a shouting match?

OP posts:
glastocat · 13/02/2011 23:31

Aww I want to see the house now, but its been deleted.

fit2drop · 13/02/2011 23:46

I am really struggling with this and really trying to get to work my way around this forum . Because I disagreed with someones POV I was accused of being troll , oh and a site invaderGrin

Yet this behaviour is so classically Troll to the point that its too trollish to be a Troll

So is a troll just a mischief maker

or

is it someone who has problems, discusses them on a forum, gets sympathy and advise, clutches at what they see as new found friends and support network, has such low self esteem fear losing said friends and support network so fantasises about having millions of pounds at their disposal for a house, she also makes sure that people invest an awful lot of emotional time in her posts and privately by text . Emotional trolling is the probably the nastiest type of troll.

Also how surprising that when she sees its all going pear shaped again , disappears and a friend comes on to say that she is in text contact with her.
O yeah cos she will be really interested in whats being said on a forum while she is trying to solve and sort her family probs.
And she is happy to give links to her possible millionaires mansion and very open about her life yet is very shy with her profile, Hmm

If it walks like a troll duck looks like a troll duck and quacks like a troll duck Hmm

thumbdabwitch · 14/02/2011 01:32

madas is not a troll. She has made a few alterations in her details so that stalkers cannot follow her easily. She has made a mistake on this thread by opening up too much about her BF - and has admitted that she made up some facts previously - because she probably thought she was in a safe enough place to do so. BIG MISTAKE.

She is still not a troll and she has not disappeared because of this - she was spending the evening with her boyfriend who has just travelled 6 hours to be with her because her "family" have kicked off and been right bastards. Why would she come back on here?

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 14/02/2011 01:54

ermm fit2drop.

I have been in text contact with her tonight - and I've been one of the ones that's been wondering what's been going on with regards to the DP/BF (who she is with tonight).

I think you'll find that her "friend" (as you call her) has been to several NI meets with the OP (and others), and has been posting on MN for several years and has met other MNers too who probably don't even know this thread exists.

So I think you need to get off your high horse and read some of the thread.

Last year the OP and I chatted a LOT privately on FB and via text. She told me things that she put on MN later. She told me things she asked me not to say on MN - and I didn't share them on here. As far as I was aware we were good on line friends, and I don't understand why she lied to me about the DP thing when I was (last sprint/early summer) one of her "partners in crime" on the AIBU in particular.

I think the parents thing is totally true. I don't think she's an emotional troll. The stuff I have doubts over concerns no-ones emotions but her own as they are BF/DP related.

blackeyedsusan · 14/02/2011 07:28

Horse? Don't tell me he was wearing shiny armour as well when he arrived?

How are you today? did you have a good day?

BrandyAlexander · 14/02/2011 08:09

fit2drop. if you think she is a troll then report her to mnhq, otherwise just sod off this thread.

Stac2011 · 14/02/2011 12:03

have you heard anything frogs from parents or db's? Sorry your having a hard time

MigratingCoconuts · 14/02/2011 18:12

Frogs, despite what has happened to this thread some of us really want to know how you have been today! Any contact from your old bag of a mum? How are DP and the kids??

Hope you are ok....

fit2drop · 14/02/2011 19:11

Baroque

Thank you, and although you have "berated" me Grin I appreciate you have been fair with your response to my post , I stand corrected and hold my hands up to being hasty and probably harsh.
I did/do believe Frogs has problems within the family and do feel that she needs support from her friends .
My post (Though not eloquent) was more to wondering about the embellishments, that to be fair had nothing to do with the opening post.

I am happy to apologise if I am wrong , but to anyone who does not "know" the poster so well I think it only fair to aknowledge that though the opening thread appeared OK , the following posts from the OP,er appeared to get quite trollish in there context.

I am not too proud to apologise if I am wrong , but can only post on the info I have
not on a history I have not been party too. We are all new posters at some point so dont share the history.

Frogs I sincerely hope that whatever your problems are you find a peaceful resolution and happiness for yourself and all your loved ones

Noviceoftheday, Do one yaself honey,
singling one person out of several who have the same thoughts smacks to me of bullying behaviour, obviously you dare not say it to other more long term posters .

swallowedAfly · 14/02/2011 23:06

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swallowedAfly · 14/02/2011 23:08

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fit2drop · 15/02/2011 00:23

SwallowedAfly

thank you, you may be rightSmile

begonyabampot · 15/02/2011 00:58

actually fit2drop just happened by. As regards to Baroque et all - what happened to calling your 'friends' when you have a problem and discussing it - rather than airing it on a public domain - knowing it would make everyone doubt the OP. (you are screaming Troll and Liar no matter how you cover up) If you are a close enough friend to have their number to be able to text them - then call them privately - not raise your issues on a site like this,but hide behind ' I'm confused and smiley faces - you know exactly what you are implying!

swallowedAfly · 15/02/2011 06:49

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BonzoDooDah · 15/02/2011 09:01

MadasFrogs hope you've been having a great time with your BF and have avoided more raging phone calls with your family. Hope it all goes well.

squeakytoy · 15/02/2011 09:12

Well this was an interesting read from start to finish with my morning coffee.

It is like some Danielle Steel novel. Every new page comes with a drip feed of a new revelation.

I started off believing it, and am now wondering if it all one big fantasy.

kuckingfunt · 15/02/2011 10:50

Baroque did text the OP privately and hasn't had any explanation from her privately.

I also spoke privately to the OP and this is where it became clear that this is all a big fantasy.

Also, looking back at the OP's previous posts brought up some inconsistences. In this post she says that she is coming clean as she now has nothing to hide. She says that DP will meet her children for the first time. Yet another post, about the same DP, last year when OP was posting as "iamfabergasted" says:

"Went last night in my own car, with my girls.

Had a fab time, met loads of people I knew, including the new bloke, girls got spin in his car which DD1 in particular adored, she now has a photo of herself in the drivers seat."

I don't think OP is a trol but I do think she is a fantasist. It just goes as a warning not to believe everything you read on the internet.

Stac2011 · 15/02/2011 11:35

i dont think that the others were focusing on op's bf/dp or the inconsistance more on what has been said initially regarding her family. Its a shame the thread took this turn as she was getting good advice. I understand why some of you are annoyed hopefully op can explain whats happened.

swallowedAfly · 15/02/2011 13:28

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kuckingfunt · 15/02/2011 14:03

Oh sorry swallowed, I didn't realise I could only post what you wanted me to on a thread Hmm

Your response to me also makes you look like you are being a vindictive bitch.

And just for your info - it is NOT troll hunting - I dont know how many times I have to post that. I know that OP is not a troll, but I also know that a lot of things are made up.

Wormshuffler · 15/02/2011 15:50

Are you lot adults????????
I could bang yer heads together!!!

swallowedAfly · 15/02/2011 16:00

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swallowedAfly · 15/02/2011 16:00

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MigratingCoconuts · 15/02/2011 17:29

Thanks everyone for scaring OP away. I, like quite a few others would like to know how she is.

I see nothing in what has happened to suggest that she is a troll or that her having made up details was any more than trying to hide her trail (and yes, I am that sad that I went back through her previous threads and read it for myself)

She disappeared after MN did this to her last time and now she has disappeared because you did it again.

Wormshuffler is right...grow up!

lemonmousse · 15/02/2011 17:30

We tried confronting MIL a few years back over favouritism of our neice - not so much in the buying presents department as she goes out of her way to 'make them all the same' (but we suspect that FC (favoured child) gets 'extras') - it was more to do with her having no time for our kids because she was so wrapped up in FC.
Sadly it all went horribly wrong - a huge row ensued - DH was accused of being 'jealous' (which he was) and although things are less frosty now she didn't make any attempt to involve herself anymore with our kids and they don't really have a 'Grandma' relationship with her which is quite sad as both my parents passed away.
Anyway - I think what I'm trying to say is don't rock the boat - it might make things worse.

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