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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I am in total shock

76 replies

ShockedToTheBone · 06/02/2011 22:15

I went with DP to a vicar today to talk about our relationship - for advice etc

we spent a ouple of hoiurs with him then came home.

We carried on talking and DP revealed something to me which makes sense and I am in so much shock I dont know what to do.

OP posts:
AtYourCervix · 06/02/2011 22:15

batting for the other side?

cyb · 06/02/2011 22:16

YABU

shakey1500 · 06/02/2011 22:16

Are you going to tell us what it is?

Changeisagoodthing · 06/02/2011 22:16

He wants to join the priesthood?

cyb · 06/02/2011 22:16

Okay

YANBU

HighHeidYin · 06/02/2011 22:16

What are you being unreasonable about?

hester · 06/02/2011 22:17

Do you want to tell us?

fedupofnamechanging · 06/02/2011 22:17

Okay, I'll bite. What did he reveal?

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 06/02/2011 22:17

Spill, for chrissake.

toastandmarmiterocks · 06/02/2011 22:17

he's actually a woman?

Original poster
ShockedToTheBone · 06/02/2011 22:18

Sorry I posted too soon and it is also hard to type.

He revealed that he was sexually abused for a few years by his mother Sad and today is the first time he has ever spoken about it.

OP posts:
ReindeerBollocks · 06/02/2011 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alicet · 06/02/2011 22:18

YABU for irritating AIBU by stealth and for posting a topic that isn't really an AIBU with a cryptic title and not actually telling us what it is about without even a question about whether YABU.

FFS tell us what it is about or don't bother to post

AtYourCervix · 06/02/2011 22:18

ouch.

amarone · 06/02/2011 22:18

YABU for going to a vicar rather than someone qualified to help you with relationship problems.

onepieceoflollipop · 06/02/2011 22:18

If you want to say it is fine. If you don't want to say then that is fine too, but perhaps state clearly that you don't want to otherwise people may try to "coax" it out of you.

Ultimately if you are communicating more openly then this is a good thing even if it doesn't seem like it now. If there was a secret or something hidden and now it is out in the open it is probably for the best in the long term.

FunnysInTheGarden · 06/02/2011 22:18

YABtotallyU to talk to your vicar Full Stop. I don't have a vicar and even if I did I would never talk to him/her

toastandmarmiterocks · 06/02/2011 22:19

shit, I'm sorry to have been so flippant...

Pancakeflipper · 06/02/2011 22:19

Well whatever the issue is, you need time to get over the shock and you may need to find out more information ( not from him but possible support agencies, the Internet).

Whatever it is - don't go making rash decisions whilst in turmoil unless your life is at risk.

CarGirl · 06/02/2011 22:19

Your poor DH.

I would look at getting him some counselling from someone with experience in this area Sad

ReindeerBollocks · 06/02/2011 22:19

X post op. Very sorry for my post. Have asked for it to be removed.

Hope you can help him get the right support he needs.

GreenEyesandHam · 06/02/2011 22:19

You all feel bad now don't you...

duchesse · 06/02/2011 22:20

Poor little boy and poor man. May this be the start of his recovery.

Pumpster · 06/02/2011 22:20

So you thought you'd post it on MN. Ok!

onepieceoflollipop · 06/02/2011 22:20

Oh, ok you posted too soon. :)

Does he feel he needs some counselling/support to address these issues? It's good that he felt able to confide in you.