how do I ask him NOT to fondle me in the kitchen, without causing offence

[Easy]

DH and I have been together 13 years now, still in love, still reasonably 'active in the bedroom', like kissing with tongues (saw other thread) and miss each other like mad since dh has started working away Mon-Fri.

BUT, over the last few months he's developed the habit of coming up behind me when I'm working in the kitchen, and fondling my bum or boobs etc. I know it's a sign of affection (and that he still fancies me), but it does irritate me a bit, when I'm trying to cook, or have the dishcloth in my hand. I don't want to offend (esp as he's only here 2 nights a week ATM, what would you say?

God knows but when you find out, let me know, drives me mad.

I'd like to know too, drives me nuts.

ditto

Moi aussi

Put the dish cloth into his hands and say 'Cheers love' and leave him to do the dishes????

You lucky bastards

DH shakes me by the hand before we go to bed, that's it.

Generally, I go with "not now I'm cooking/cleaning" etc... followed by "if you help then I'll be free quicker"

DH is pretty thick skinned though so doesn't tend to take it as a snub, just a hint to run away quick before he's given a cloth!

Hunker

Spray

I would turn the cooker off and encourage him!

I would turn around and snog him, then wipe his face with the discloth or run your floury hands through his hair.

Sounds lovely to me! Sorry, I'd love a bit more groping in the kitchen so no advice at all!

Can't you just be honest and say 'darling I love you very much and still fancy you like mad so don't want you to take this the wrong way but when i'm cleaning the worktops etc could you try and not grab my boobs? Sorry, I know you're just being lovley but it just doesn't do it for me. I'd ratehr you save that for when i don't have a dishcloth in my hand, please don't be upset with that though and I do still want you to grab hold of me, just not while I'm doing kitchen chores!' and then give him a massive kiss. ????????

LGJ, you think I'm joking!

He's not that good at random acts of affection...

Though both of them have produced results.

Try squealing like a chambermaid and shouting 'Ooh, sir you'll get me the sack, that you will!'

He'll think you've gone mad and leave you well alone in future (unless master/servant relationships are your 'thing')

Or turn round with a sharp knife/spoon dripping with hot water and say slowly "Yeeeesss?"

I've tried both of these to no avail - my dh still thinks it's okay to grope me when I'm in the kitchen. I tried doing it to him but he actually liked it so that didn't work. You might just have to be grateful he still wants to.

PMSL! Yes, at least DS and DB will believe we've only "done it" twice when they're teenagers and hugely embarrassed by the idea of parents at it

Easy, sorry, this isn't helping you, is it?!

you can clean the Kitchen when he is away. He is only there 2 nights and you complain?!

Octobernow, I like your idea, but he'll find it funny.

actually the master/servant thing is his bag, altho' not that way round (but that's a whole other thread)

Ha ha! not just me then! I avoid bending over in front of DP coz i just cant be doing with the "bumping" whilst trying to empty the kitchen bin . He cant be told, he thinks its "funny". Same way he thinks its great to stick his tongue in my ear when we are in the throes of passion - its not the kind of wet willy i want thanks!

Hilarious - when I read the title, I thought 'kitchen' was a euphemism......

DH does it with my boobs - and I tell him straight it annoys me and don't do it. that i'm not an object for him to grab.

thought mine was the only one who did it.

My dh does this too, and I don't want to discourage him, as you say, it's lovely to be desired. But I know what you mean about the kitchen. I've told my dh that I'm worried I might cut myself or burn myself and so he leaves me alone when I'm doing kitchen chores.

I say (ahem, not recommended!)

"You don't honestly think I have time for that do you? Maybe if you had bothered with the kitchen before I got home from work at 9pm, I might feel more like giving you some, so unless you've come in here to take over what you should have done in the first place, you can F**k Off!"

Ive said something along those lines. DP muttered something along the lines of getting a better response from the refridgerator . Just as well we love each other!

Glad you all know what a wet willy is too - was a bit worried it mightve been misread

Call his bluff, no?

dh does this to me too all the time. Sometimes if I am genuinely busy I give him a sharp dig in the ribs.

Have to say though most of the time I turn round and fondle him right back. And we end up either on the floor or the worksurface.....sorry you didn't really want to know that did you?

But I don't want to put him off showing me he desires me, just to move his signs of affection to a more appropriate time.