Do you expect a new DP to ask before first penetration?

[OneMoreChap]

I was shocked to find that some people would think that because I have never said, in effect "May we proceed to coitus" I've possibly been having non-consensual sex.

I've asked girls if I may kiss them, and even women too. I've never asked "Can we have intercourse?"

I wonder what some women expect? Should consent be in writing - as otherwise you could change your mind?

Should it be witnessed? As it could have been under duress?

Surely, the premise should be "no means no"?

I'm just stunned, but then I'm 50+ and long time out of the dating/chasing game.

yep, I hate the note it makes the thread end on

1001

bugger

no surprises there, rhad

I've just searched 'him' too. Just that one post.

Charmer isn't he?

SAF - billboydurham Sun 06-Feb-11 06:02:37

"oh dear, don t blame this guy too much, he probably regrets what hes done now,and is confused ,after all you let him do it"

As I said, charmer. And also spineless if this poster knew the thread limit is usually 1001 posts.

Maybe 'he' posted as 'he' knew that no-one would be able to challenge 'him'?

earwicga . . .anyone who posts such fowl mouthed disgusting comments when someone is posting and asking for advice should be struct off mumsnet. IT shouldnt be allowed. Are we civilized or not.. . .? Some not. . .
Nasty, rude and so so common !

Please mind your language.

As for the original post. . .my answer is no.

Begonya I'm not sure if nowadays, full penetrative sex wouldn't happen to you in the situation you describe. That's part of the problem with the porn culture - teenagers used to have drunken fumbles, mess about with each other, touch each other, experiment - but all that happened loads of time before they actually got down to penetrative sex.

Nowadays, because such a large percentage of them have seen porn before they ever even kiss a member of the opposite sex, the penetrative stuff tends to happen much more quickly and is expected, without the intervening drunken fumbling with the greater awareness of boundaries that that entailed.

This thread is completely fucked up....no means no and yes means yes.

A woman consents by reciprocation if a man strays over a line then rape has occured.

Common sense.

If it's so common sense dadaz, why do you think that 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted or raped?

Why do you think so many women are constantly wailing that it's far too difficult for poor men to know when a woman has consented? (I notice that most men don't say that actually - they know it's bollocks. It's generally only the dodgy ones who claim it's hard to tell.)

"Those" Mens motives are wrong then.

Stepping over the line is wrong...without exception.

I can't see how a mistake can be made at all, she either wants what you want or she doesn't. Forcing youself onto her should lead to the weight of law against you.

What NORMAL person would want sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with them?

Something very similar happened to me!

Myself and the next door neighbor used to flirt a lot, but nothing too serious. One day I invited him round for a coffee and after a chat we started kissing. I led him to the bedroom and starting having sex. Half way through I stopped enjoying it, but didn't say anything.

I was raped by a married man that I have to look at every day :(

Lexi is our new resident troll.

What do you mean that's not rape? I didn't enjoy it and felt horrible afterwards because he was married.

That's rape!

Of course it's not rape.

You didn't say no and you led him to the bedroom.

What if HE hadn't liked it too but didn't want to hurt your feelings?

Would you then have raped him?

You felt horrible because you felt guilty that he was married and he lived next door and you were going to have to see him most days.
And be embarrassed.

Work it out.

I think you're quite a good troll, lexie :) I've just been enjoying your irrelevant Surrendered Woman - style posts on another thread. You do a lot of surrendering, by the sound of it. Must be exhausting!

If they are drunk or passed out you can still go ahead but have to get permission from her BFF

its a bit like removal men shouting "coming through"