Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.2

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Yes the weather is a bit wicked. However since I have arranged a bit of time off, I might wander into the westend anyway or go somewhere bonny. If you are still up for it we could meet for coffee or we could just postpone until we can all make it. I'm easy going.
I went to bed early but was woken by the howling wind and now i've got the worryache. That awful gnaw! how did I end up in this situation? I told my headteacher that my plan is now to leave my job and go to Ireland. I figured that if I say it, it will push me onwards. Also he is a decent boss and i don't want him hearing it on the vine. Anyway he was so kind and supportive and said I was bearing it all v well so ironically now I just want to go to pieces. Just can't work out why having me and our 3 fab boys could not be enough for x. We also have decent jobs a house in a pretty area and I was forever organising daytrips, houseswaps and fun stuff for us all. What more is there at the end of the day?
Anyway word will probably now leak out at work. i kind of felt a few people being extra nice to me this afternoon and although it is nice it makes me feel like a fool if that makes sense. I would love it all just to go away for a while. my head is wrecked. I'm sure you know the feeling.
til later.

Ok step away from the computer startin chat here don't lose ur dignity ,he is going all victim on ur ass drowning his fucking sorrows what fucking sorrows......this wind is howling now ,

MB he is a greedy immature arse like the rest of them that neglected his famrily to go hang with his buds ,this isn't about what u didn't do ,its about him not understanding what getting married and having kids is about ,eh growing up basically.will they still be hanging out smoking a j & drinking beer when they are 50 probably,it would have been great if they had grown up but THEY chose not to .all I know is my heart will mend but my X will still be an angry selfish prick x

Hi all, pretty crappy week, hence a bit of lurking and no posting

Now just feeling drained, went to bed last night having missed ds parents evening, kind of final thing going wrong this week hopefully.

In summary, big trauma with ds at the beginning of the week, not v pleasant conversations with BE as a result, three day big work event til yesterday which felt like a three day interview with new boss (otherwise known as dustin hoffman), court yesterday. Sadness also as am missing a RL confidante.

Maybee, I can totally relate to what you say about feeling different after you'd told your boss. I've found that when people dont know stuff you can behave differently and that it really changes things when they do. I feel that when they dont know you can sometimes behave like a normal person but that when they do it then feels like they regard you as someone else. I also though have a problem here as I dont like to lie to people and am therefore having to avoid some people who I know are trying to be kind as I cant really tell them the truth because of the nature of the problems. That then feels a bit isolating at times.

Starting, horrible to have to deal with Norms note, hope you feel ok today.

Waves to all....

Maybee you had a long time of keeping things quiet so its going to be stressful with it coming out into the open. My xh actually recognised he was a man with everything materially and otherwise that you could wish for and he once said he could be like and content with what he has. For such a long time I thought I was blocking his access to happiness but I dont think so any more. Like Patience says a lot of it was tied up greed, wanting his time and his entitlement to do whatever he* wanted but I also think there was an element of inner unhappiness etc and he could do with getting help just like he was so fond of telling me before I did go and get help

What I am so grateful for is that I am so appreciative of things around me and get all the small stuff. Whats more its lovely to be free of trying to instill that in him or simply trying to make him happy.

Had a great day yesterday got lots done and had a nice time with my dc.

Chatted to cousin last night shes really down. Soldier boy turned out to obviously be just a one night stand. She thought that would all be fine but now it is that she isnt fine iyswim. She was saying when you meet a guy in a bar and go back to his place and walk away the next morning thats fine but with internet dating you have already exchanged lots of texts/emails/calls and so invested something in him so it isnt the same as a one night stand. Having no experience of either I just listened but it sounds logical

How are all the dating dumplings ?

Citydoll where are youuuuuu ?

Starting hope serenity is restored , what are you doing with your free time this sunday ?

Well done offschool

googoo hope you are better now and ready for the big weekend

Mumfun busy is good

Happy and Tea where have you got to

Pink one of your acerbic posts would be a nice friday treat for us

Waves to Sov, Elsie and all lovely dumplings

So sorry, Starting. You've been through worse, you'll get through this x

X post Happy sorry to hear you have had a bad week , you have to think at some point the tide will turn. Is the missing RL confidante MM ?

Hope you have a nice day today its not too late for the week to change

Oh and I just have to survive today and will have given up cigs for a week which apparently means I am more likely to succeed

Sorry you're having a shitty week too, Happy. The tide must turn soon.

My boss was very understanding. Mainly because she is a Dumpling too. Her husband had an affair with ... wait for it ... her niece! Top that . Hence, she is extremely sympathetic. Poor woman. Mind you, she is very happily remarried now.

Hi Getting and Elsie.

Well done on the cigs Getting.

Yep, hopefully tide will turn although as time goes on I do wonder. And I know also that however much things may seem ok for a couple of weeks, at some point I usually get "the call" that fills me with panic.

Yep the confidante is mman.

Ok trampoline completely trashed really upset x

I know its not the end of the world but now I have to spend Sat or Sun getting rid of it with X .kids loved it x

Ok googled spare parts for trampolines may be able to fix it but expensive .

Happy, ((Hugs)) sorry you've had such a crap time of it once again. I know what you mean about finding it isolating. I had the same with xh as I could only tell one or two people v close to me exactly what was going on.

Patience, sorry to hear about trampoline. Is there anyway it can be fixed?

Getting, sorry to hear about your cousin but I guess it could have turned out a lot worse for her. I don't mean that to take away from her pain but just that she's prob learnt a v valuable lesson. Good luck with staying off the cigs.

ET, that must have been a nightmare for your poor boss but lovely to hear she got a happy ending.

Maybee, I agree that telling someone at work has prob made you feel more vunerable & made it more real. I also agree with Patience's post of 1.18 though, our hearts will mend but they will remain f*wits!

Well I'm feeling more serene this morn tg. Am actually feeling pleased that I pointed out a few home truths to Norm. For anyone who thinks I'm behaving like a snivelling wreck, it's hard to explain the dynamics on here. Norm was so genuine & sincere, right from day one he telling me how keen he was, how compatible we were etc. As things developed he said he really wanted to have a future with me. He used to talk a lot about this stuff as he said he wanted to make sure we were on same page. I would have said it was early days still but that if things continued to work out then yes I would have been interested in same things. The reason I am so hurt is that overnight it went from loving me & wanting a future together to dumping me. If it had come to a place where either of us or both of us had realised we were incompatible then this would have been so much easier but ending it like this when everything was going so well has been v painful for me. I do however realise that part of me started allowing myself go with the idea of the future he was presenting for us & that once again it's the future I'm grieving. That idea of having someone to share your life with etc. A friend said to me y'day that try to look at this as having brought me one step closer to finding the person that is right for me. I guess all of this has made me realise that yes I prob do want someone to love & someone who loves me in my life whereas before Norm I was so bruised from xh I'd prob have only wanted companionship & sex. So I'm dusting myself down this morn & have gratitude for all the lovely things I have in my life.

Starting, you and Norm are just not ready for each other right now. Maybe you will be in a couple of years but maybe by then you'll have fallen deeply in love with someone else. At least you know you've got it in you. I don't think I'll ever trust a man again.

Good for u starting ,for me its this whole thing of someone hurting me,why would I want to be with someone that hurts me because of his own emotional problems.I am narrowing down the field now as I am looking for a good looking emotionally developed bloke who is sexy and good in bed .

Just quickly as usual cant believe some of our weeks :(

Patience -cant believe the trampoline :( Could noone fix?

Happy -sorry about it all -urghhhh

Starting -cant belive he thinks being friends is ok -grrrrrrr

MB its ard when you start to tell people but I hope you find the support does part compensate

Getting -yay for kicking cigs! Star!

ET- you cant believe the stories really of what these me do. Brings me in mind of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow - imagine your adoptive daughter - total yuck!

Hope youre ok Tea. Am going to message City

Listening to Abba - scarily adult break up lyrics to lovely music!

Patience sounds like you would be better off searching for the Holy Grail

Yep its scary when u start to think of it like that getting,nearly finished my women who love too much book.one thing she says is put all ur effort into ur recovery ,imagine it like a terminal illness and how hard u would work if u could grab a chance at getting better.its letting go of the past and working hard on the future and accepting we can't change others we can only dig deep and change ourselves x

Hi all,

Sunhill.......can't believe that anyone older than 7 would write fat cow on a colleagues cup ! What a baby.

Goo.......what a shit teacher he was for saying that. Pathetic. I too used sometimes to have to litterally drag ds to school screaming and it took 2 teachers, one on each side to get him into the classroom. I wasn't a dumpling then but it wouldn't have made much difference as it was still me who had to deal with it.

I think that a stern little word with that teacher is in order.

Well done Kate on doing the deed

Elsie at Kama, I think that's really funny.

Patience...I can't believe the trampeline is ruined. Very windy here too. i hate it.

Happy...really sorry it's gone a bit tits up again with DS1. Are you no longer in contact with music man ?

Starting....I'm really sad that it's turned sour with Norm. Agree with Patience, step away from the computor. Agree with your friend too. I've heard that alot of frog kissing is nessersarry before the prince comes along. Seems that Norm was a frog in diguise.

Hi to Mumfun, City, Sov, Tea and Maybees.

Getting....I can't do acerbic on demand but I'm sur it won't be too long..........

BTW Patience...funilly enough I was actually writing that other post in the voice of Blackadder. It was one of 'our' programmes we used to watch together in fits of laughter. I miss all that stuff most of all. x

Googoo - We can't win, can we? We get slated as lone parents for being on benefits and slated for working hard to provide for our families too. I'm hoping he was teasing you. It was in bad taste and not helpful when you're trying to deal with a son throwing an almighty tantrum, but I hope you didn't take any of it on board. You're a good, hardworking mum.

Starting so sorry to read about Norm

Patience - such a shame about the trampoline, I hope you can somehow fix it.

Kate - woop woop about your sexy man.

I've been lurking for days but cannot find the energy for a decent post, and I've read all and retained little it seems

City does PM me from time to time, so I know she's often lurking.

No news here really. ExH is busy; as the OW is down at the moment until Sunday. So no doubt I won't hear a peep from him until she goes home again and then he'll text asking when he can see the kids Having a low, lethargic and tired week. Feel like I'm wading through treacle! Think my poor diet is catching up with me...

Cool, we have a wine emotive :o

Will be back later in the meantime, bottoms (and chins) up :o

Re make of Brighton Rock out this week loved that film,Richard attenborough v young .

Patience, I thought Norm was emotionally developed & he was certainly good in the sack

ET, I know what you mean about trusting another man. I guess when we meet the right men it just happens over time.

Mumfun, I know it was the whole business of the friendly chit chat & saying he hoped I'd meet someone nice who appreciated me that gave me a brain rush!

Pink, it's not sour as such with Norm & in case I gave the wrong impression my emails weren't nasty, just explained how hurt I was by it all. I know what you mean about missing someone to share the laughs with etc ((Hugs))

Tea, I hate those times when everything just feels so hard ((Hugs))