Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.2

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

ET, so sorry to hear your ds & you were dealt that blow. As you know from my posts I've become oh too familiar with the courts due to xh's twuntery & it's such a horrible experience never mind for things to go like that ((Hugs)). I have to confess I too am prone to laughing at inopportune moments a blow out from a life of too much stress I think . I have to say despite your bad news I burst out laughing when I read about the hymen .

Tea, I think the dc's just go through phases of waking like that I've had it on & off with all of mine & it usually just settles down itself after awhile. You have my full sympathies though as it can be exhausting. My youngest dd has been waking at approx 1am for the past week or so but she had a slight tummy bug & I think he body clock still hasn't settled back to normal.

Sov, ET is right it's a sad state of affairs when the only way you can get a break is by having a pre op apt . Hope xp steps up to the plate soon & starts taking dc's either out or to his sisters.

Patience, hope you have a lovely night out. My dd that's the same age as yours gets dressed up as a princess most days . Xh took them to a peter pan show today & the two dd's dressed up as tinkerbell & ds dressed up as peter pan (part of his costume consisted of a pair of dd's tights & shorts ) he looked so funny, bless the innocence

Goo, sorry to hear the spark isn't there for CDman ((Hugs))

Hugs to et x
Waves to everyone ,saw all the family so got that over with.out2 morrow without dcs woo hoo x

Thanks Starting. I think it is immense stress that is making me laugh at the worst possible moment. But it really is uncontrollable and I literally cry with laughter. I've got away with it so far but I'm a bit worried in case I do it at work or somewhere equally inappropriate.

Patience, two nights out in a row! Lucky you, but no more than you deserve. Hope you have a great time tonight.

I'm feeling very low this morning. XP is being very hostile and I'm relying on him to have ds tonight so that I can go to work. I want to arrange a 3rd party drop off and have suggested his parents but I know he will refuse on the grounds that his mother has just come out of hospital. He won't go to any of my friends' houses because he says they all hate him which is probably true. I don't want to see him and I don't want him calling at the house. I'm ashamed to say that he has very successfully reeled me in again and over the last week we have been texting and talking to each other. There hasn't been any talk of reconcilliation but he has said things like "you don't understand me", "you don't know what my life is like now" and "you've got me all wrong". I am fairly certain that OW is still on the scene and if that is the case then ds has stated that he doesn't want anything to do with his father. But I'm not going to get involved in that. I'm so cross with myself for engaging with him again. He makes me feel so bad about myself and I feel so much better when he's not around. Why did I fall for it? And why does he do it? He doesn't want me back so why doesn't he stop messing with my head and let me get on with my life?

He is lonely,his life is shit,only way he can regain who he was socially etc is with u.if not he is just a Cheater with debt and a drink problem,move away from this car crash nothing positive to see here.just ur addiction to him for safety and security.he will give u neither .

Don't b cross with urself et ,be glad ur recognising his manipulation and staying away.what u give out u get back in heaps he is starting to feel the effects of his double life.

Et get down to ur crystal shop for a bit of spiritual support.bloodstone looking good today,rhodonite and rhodochrosite.always pick what ur drawn to though then come home and Google them x

Thanks Patience. Can't get to a crystal shop today but I will when I'm off work. Working tonight and tomorrow. Relying on XP to look after DS this weekend. I must get another job where I don't need to rely on him for anything.

Sending u hugs Elsie,night out has changed to meal in at friends lol,looking forward to a chat .maybe get out next week if u can make it googs no pressure lol.but its been 3 yrs.
Ps getting a security lock on my outside door.had a good laff with letting agent.also very good looking.
Phonecall from x to say not seeing kids.owes loads ,needs to work doesn't have a brass farthing says gf says its too much hassle to see him.
Saw where he took her for a meal ,thought I would be upset but outside it said £ 3.99 YOU CAN'T GO WRONG !
Classy girl eh !

Hi everyone I am back from my travels

Elsie sorry to hear that verdict

Nice to read all the chat sounds like most of us are doing ok ?

Well I have had a great break with my lovely cousin who is also doing great, she is in text heaven with soem guy from Match !

Did some shopping, saw Kings Speech met up with brother and also an old flame just for dinner one night which was nice. Basically had a blow out which I havent for ages so was really nice.

Its very sunny here and I am feeling like fabulousity is within reach , maybe after a coffee . Looking forward to seeing the dc tonight , I have had texts and they seem to have been having a great time.

Have a nice day everyone

Hi all, am back from my travels also.

Good time at MILs mostly and managed to resist slagging off BE, or at katy most of the time. Had some fun there in the end and succeeded in creating a dancing afternoon with Mil and another relation much to the disgust of the men present.

Glad you had a good time Getting. Old flame?

Sorry about the outcome Elsie, must feel odd and horrible. And XP! Well agree, would be good to find a way not to have to rely on him wouldn't it?

Waves to all. Supposed to be attempting church later although its just started to chuck it down so lets see what happens...

• at least. Since when could 'at least' end up reading 'Katy'

Meridith brooks bitch turn it up and have a dance x

Fleetwood mac dreams .sums it all up to me end of an era.

Fleetwood mac go ur own way

I had this album on tape as a kid and played and played it. I loved it. Good tunes Patience.

Oh I am a huge Fleetwood Mac fan too

Well it appears xh couldn't maintain normal human behaviour for too long!! Sdc's went out with my dc's & xh today. Afterwards they went back to xh's house & sd (25) went on fb. Xh asked her to sort something for him about his fb password & shortly thereafter all hell broke loose. Eldest dd (11) didn't know what had happened but xh started screaming & roaring at sdd & called her a cunt . Stepson (22) & my eldest tried to get him to calm down. Dc's all left then & ss went back in & spoke to xh on his own (assume he was telling him he was bang out of order). Went they got back home sd's face was swollen from crying & she & ss left straight away. Eldest dd immediately then started crying & told me what had happened. She said she was really scared & also upset to see xh back to old behaviour, her trust is shattered again. Had to spend ages talking to dd then had a word with ds to see what impact it had had on him but it didn't seem to have registered with him & he hadn't much to say. However coincidentally tonight for the first time in a long time ds throw a strop going to bed & kicked me . No matter how calmly or reasonably I talk to xh about this it's probably going to lead to a big bloody bust up again!! Also given xh's past i.e. advertising on fb to meet girls & dd mentioning the fb bustup was over some girl am assuming that was also something highly inappropriate due to sd's reaction. Am f*** sick of the lot of it....................gggrrrr

Oh, I grew up on Fleetwood Mac. Loved it. Still love it.

Crap weekend here but I am still in control of the mothership. All too trivial and complex to go in to but XP is playing major league mind games with me. He is swinging from being lovely to being vile and I never know which version is popping up next. All I can do is be consistently polite and distant. Really pissed me off tonight by asking me to contribute to a football tournament weekend away for him and ds. WTF???? I earn a fraction (about a third, I think) of what he does. I bought his car for cash and he owes me about £20k for credit card bills I paid off for him. He gets a big annual bonus next month and he's asking me for £130 and he wants it NOW. I'm just wondering what the polite and distant version of 'fire up and fuck off' is .

ET, suitable polite replies to xp......would love to help but unfortuntely I am really strapped atm due to the massive counselling bills I've incurred recently or you've got to be kidding??? Or perhaps this one really doesn't merit a polite reply after all & a good old "go fuck yourself" would do it????

Starting, what a sad story. I am not at all offended by swearing but the C word is not on the agenda. To call your own dd the C word is particularly abusive on all sorts of levels. Poor girl. Have I read this right? He called his own dd a C? Sorry to make you go through it again but it's just beyond belief and I'm hoping I've got it wrong.

Starting, as I start to plan my response I'm anticipating a huge fit of stress-related uncontrollable giggles again .

ET - so sorry about the court case :(
You could always just ignore ex's demand? That's what I woudl do but I think I'm getting too good at retreating into my shell and leaving aggressive people to it.
Starting - I sympathise with that awful situation. My exh has called our kids the c word too. Remember that you are in control and if they don't want to see him or you don't want them to, then they don't see him. What a nasty, nasty man.
Patience - how has your socialing been going? Deffo coming next weekend - let me know what time would be good to arrive/leave :)
Ok, have to write an email to CDMan to tell him that I don't think we should meet again. How should I word it? Never, ever finished anything with anyone before but I think I know it's for the best... :(

Oh my goodness Starting and ET. Sorry about your troubles and cant believe what has happened.

Going to stop there Im afraid - just dropping in. Having crap day - anger and all sorts overwhelming me. Stressy week coming up. Not in good place. Going to go to bed and escape in a book. Waves night night

I'm staggered. For any man to call any woman a C is hugely abusive in my books. For a man to say that to his own daughter is beyond belief. Please don't tell me this happens a lot. Nobody has ever called me a C and I only ever heard my father swear once, when he couldn't do his "bloody" cufflinks up. I'm starting to think XP's request for £130 is a luxury problem.

GGM, you are way too polite, you know. I'm afraid I would be a coward and let it drift then when he asks just be honest in a kind way.

Starting you don't think she frapped (Getting frapped is where somebody uses your Facebook account because you left it logged on, and then posts something dirty or unresponsibly naughty as their status) him on fb do you? However he should not have called her a C* what an awful word and he shouldn't have shouted like that So sorry you're dealing with all the fall out again.

My dad used Poppycock and balderdash and things like that when growing up Elsie

GGM - wait until he asks you again and then maybe say something

((hugs)) to lovely mumfun. Sound tough.

Off to bed as I'm shattered and have a cold. So kind of the kids to share it with me

*sounds