Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.2

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Hi Go He hasn't rang them again tonight, and yes I do think he is having to toe the line. I don't want to absolve him of of blame though - he controls what he wants to do.

But, he is suppossed to collect the girls from his parents on Thursdays every week and drop them off with me. Something that would take him an hour to do - and give him a bit of extra time with his girls...but he never does it anymore because 'they' have plans on a Thursday now. So they work together, live together and he seemingly can't spend an extra hour with his children.

After I asked that she doesn't go on the extension when he speaks to the girls, she now stands next to the phone - but he did squirm when I said to him "Are you ABLE to tell OW she's not to speak to them when the girls are at home?" He couldn't answer. But clearly now he would rather not speak to his 6 yr old and 9 yr old because he doesn't want to upset his bloody 38 yr old GF!!

Just makes me sad for his girls. He's a tossbag of the highest order.

Also X s new relationship is just another addiction,another narc supply.he doesn't respect her as a person by what he has said about her ie thick ,doesn't want his daughter to turn out like her etc.its actually just really needy on his part.he can't do life alone.she's just a vulnerable little girl that fell for his charm and thinks she has made him better.

Good luck Elsie.

H is coming Wed night to spend Thurs and Fri with girls (oh and of course I am here in the house ...)
Wants to take both out on Friday. Has booked a lovely restaurant for lunch. DD1 (15nearly) does not want to go - says she is doing revision for exams (she is year before GCSe so not really in throes of exams). H will be v annoyed if she wrecks his plans.
I have decided to stay out of it completely. I know he will think I have influenced her not to want to go as it is impossible for him to think I have said nothing. I do think she should go as it will be a fun day but if she goes and is foul it will wreck the day for all 3 of them. hey ho. Of course part of me (the nasty part) thinks tough, H, if she doesn't want to go its hard luck; so perhaps wanting her to go and enjoy it is kind of trying to please him still too? Oh god the complications.
Got up early and got carers so I could go to dr surgery for a tetanus booster injection today. Got there and they said as it is not due till JUly I could not have it. Grr. so thought I would go to Fat Face for a treat instead ... found I had left debit card at home. Very annoying!!
Orthodontist for DD1 tomorrow.Hospital again for check up for DD2 Wednesday. The excitement of my life knows no bounds.

Really insecure woman Kate.it takes the shine off their relationship though when the jealousy is coming from Ow dont ya think.I'm not jealous or bitter about his gf.I was angry they were sneaking around though and I was sad my marriage ended but shit happens eh?

Waves to off school,how do u say THIS TOO SHALL PASS in Latin ?

Funny that Patience - my exh said the same kind of things about his very young gf too. You're right about the narc supply. Well it wasn't exbf calling - it was my mum. So he's trying to reel me back in and then ignoring me - and I'm worried about looking rude?! He's ruined my evening though. Never again.
Kate - wasn't trying to get your ex off the hook at all - just thought it gives you a nice little insight into the dynamics of his new relationship - sounds really healthy over there eh? I STILL can't get over his behaviour towards your girls. It's appalling. Lots of love x
Off - sorry you've had one of those "fuck on" days. As Patience says, this too shall pass, another day, another scenario love.
Oh and Kate - Tossbag and Foghorn. Got a certain ring to it hasn't it? :)

Lol at it being ur mum googs x
Just remember sometimes its not enough if,
U can't manage to live on ur own because ur a paranoid narc thats smoked too much weed.

Lol. Can't wait to meet up for some RL laughs love!
"You're sweet enough you know you are / But sometimes I need...to fuck you about a bit cos I'm stoned and my narc supply is running dangerously low"!!!!!

Ps counsellor pissed himself about couple shaggin in my close,I told him I had just found out that X was shaggin his gf and he said ,seems like everyone is getting some except u .I said I know ,I nearly let rip at the shaggers and told them that id just found out my X was shaggin a 21 yo so sex right in front of my fucking nose.was not what I was needing right now.
anyway reported it to the police today .she said I should have phoned when it happened and given a description.I thought young lass carrying a bit of weight trying to put her tights on.anyway said they would def have a car drive around next week .

Lol at your counsellor!
Morning all

Where is everyone today? been out and come back but everyone quiet. Hope you girls are all well x

Hi goo

How did it go Elsie ?

What you been doing goo ? Hope I wasnt too forthright with my post to you..

Well I have got the house. My wheeler dealer friend thinks I am mad paying full price , I explained that the last year I have had that actually to maybe be paying a little over the odds to take all the stress out is money well spent. I had first option before it went onto the open market and as you all know I have been looking for ages and seen nothing apart from one the other week that I knew wasnt quite right. This house is gorgeous and both dc love so lets hope it all runs smoothly , I think I deserve something to go right

I am off to Rachels when xh collects dc tomorrow and I cant wait as I am feeling totally drained, the responsibility of choosing somewhere by myself has without doubt been the worst thing since he left. Cigs have reappeared so will need to get back onto that !

So the trip up to join ow her son and xh in their holiday cottage is tomorrow and I really hope it goes well especially with dd. It will be interesting to see how it goes.

Rachels xh has begun overnight access so we get our first dc free time in years tomorrow and I think we are going to a pub to eat

Back later waves to all

Ah great news on the house Getting

Getting - woo hoo! Congratulations on the house. I paid just under full asking price for mine too - because it was perfect for us and now we are really happy so good on you. If you had farted about someone else would just have offered the price and you would have lost it. And your posts are always great - never ever think that you are being too forthright :)
Hi Happy :)
Hope all is well Elsie x

Hey getting that's great news :)

Hi Kate - hope you are ok today

Getting I'm so glad you bagged the house

Hope all is ok Elsie?

Bought a Dora trampoline, you know the little ones with a bar for kids? For £7.50 on ebay and picked it up this morning. Kids spent all day jumping on it and laughing. What a great way for them to burn up some energy and sleep better. I do not have my own garden here but the trampoline will certainly help (I hope) inbetween trips out for walks etc. When they get bored of it I'll ebay it again In the meantime fun and smiles for them.

DS is still waking twice a night since he moved to a bed and asking for "hot milk!" to which I say no but you can have some water if thirsty. Or wanting a "hug!". So big yawns here and he woke at 4.40am this morning. Got him back to sleep but then it took me ages to fall back to sleep. Just in time for DD to wake me at 6am. So I'm mega tired. But all is ok here. Seeing FIL on Saturday as he's down this way and I've agreed to go up at Easter for a few days with the kids. Wish me luck girls. I said to FIL as it's so far I won't come up more than twice a year, as long as MIL knows that Need to make sure I keep being assertive but hopefully the kids will enjoy seeing their grandparents whilst there.

Fab news getting x

By the way I felt the kids and I were ready for a jaunt to Scottyland now, so I told FIL could we come at Easter break for a few days. So I wasn't bullied into it in the end.

Congratulations Getting !!!

Fantastic news, I'm so pleased for you.

Hi to everyone, I'm not catching up at the moment, so busy, hope you're all ok. xxxxxxx

Hey Tea - I sympathise. Same here! On your way to Scotland why don't you pop in for a cuppa? I'm on the border and would love to see you :) At home at Easter so feel free.
Hi Pink!
Hi Patience!

Exbf didn't phone last night but helpfully put a song on his fb profile entitled "You gotta problem with me?"
So tempting...

Nice one tea good ur in control.

Had a good day ,kick boxing was good had a laff.lost my gold chain but only bit of gold X ever gave me so I think it was all part of the break up.
Kids phoned X when I got in and it was on speaker phone Ds said I'm just going to bed and X said yeah me too,he told me at the weekend that Tuesday was her night at his.so just a dig.
Just dumping this out so I can get rid.its the childish hurtful stuff that's the worst .this too shall pass.best bit is I didn't retaliate ,I keep telling myself I'm not bovvered.one day I won't be x

Getting, I am so so pleased for you. The very best of luck to you in your new abode ((Hugs))

ET, hope case went well for you.

Goo, oh how hard to resist the temptation

Tea, sorry you're getting such little sleep atm, it's a real bummer when they go through those phases.

Patience, so glad the counselling helped you

Pink, good to see you're still on here

Rom, great to see you posting.

Kate, your xp constantly leaves me . His behaviour is so far from the norm (and that of ow) that I often wonder if they both have MH issues?? It's just so hard to believe that people could behave like they do

Happy, hope all is well for you atm

Off, hope you had a better day today. Days like you had yesterday can be a real test of tolerance!

Sov, hope all is going well for you & that you managed to sort something about doing a course.

Hope I'm not forgetting anyone! Well I'm still feeling v down about Norm . Can't explain it really but it's like the rug was just suddenly pulled out from under my feet & it's taking me awhile to get over it. Was kind of giving myself a pep talk earlier & saying I'd want to be getting over it by now but then I looked at calander & it made me realise it's still early days so I suppose I'm bound to still be down about it. I think I'd have found it easier with a better explanation but maybe I'm just kidding myself on that. Anyway, am struggling to keep the sunny side out. Am trying to just keep my focus on staying positive. I'm also aware of course that a lot of what I'm missing is just how nice it was to be in love again (and of course the happy endorphins from regular sex ). I think being with Norm made me realise how lovely it was to just have a normal relationship & now that I've had a taste of it I want it so badly again

x post Patience. That is v hurtful stuff but all you can do is allow yourself to feel the pain & some day he won't have the power to hurt you anymore. Tbh I think that day is prob v close for you ((Hugs))