Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.2

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Oh heck I'm making myself giggle now

Me too rofl @ Mr Ben comparison and nuances ? It sounds like you picked one from each end of the spectrum goo

Yes, either end of a long, long line and yet...some spooky similarities. Mainly relating to huge egos and huge cocks (growing out of their heads, I hasten to add)

Goo, that gave me a great laugh, not twat exBF though!

Anyway reminded me about a funny one with xh. Yrs ago we were having a problem with landline & lady wanted to test the line so she was talking to me on mobile & told me not to answer housephone when she rang it. I explained this to xh & said it was going to take about 10mins & not to answer phone etc. I went upstairs & sat on dd's bed with mobile while lady was doing her stuff at other end. Anyway house phone rings & xh despite explanation & despite the fact we have an extention upstairs picked up handfree downstairs & I could see him running up wooden stairs with phone in his hand raised high. Two seconds later there was an all merciful crash as he fell on stairs. Lady on the mobile to me heard the bang & asked was all ok. I started roaring laughing & said twas grand was just my husband fell on stairs. I'm sitting on the end of bed & watching xh pick himself up with a pained expression on his face, I'm trying to contain laughter. I watch him wave the phone towards me once more when CRASH he tripped again on last step & landed sprawled on floor. Lady once again hears bang & asks is all ok. At this point I can barely talk I'm laughing so much & say tis grand twas just my husband falling AGAIN on stairs. I'd say she thought we were a pair of nutters

Another funny one! Xh rang me one day on way home fron work & said you won't believe what just happened. I decided to call up to see my aunt before comming home & when my cousin answered the door I said is Nellie home. My cousin looked at me with horror & said "didn't you shoulder her f*g coffin 6 mts ago" & slammed the door in my face. He said I can't believe I forgot my aunt was dead & what's worse is my mother is going to f*g kill me when she hears about it & what's worse again is that now I feel really sad about my aunt!

I know, I know, I should have realised at that point the writing was on the wall

Mmm, I think youre well shot of these f*kers. Trying to think of a BE story to post. But then not so easy given his "saint" status lol. Well there was the time during when he was sha*ing Bumpkin though that he barricaded himself in "his" room to watch porn on the pc , he was thrown out shortly after that .

Goo, I know what you mean about these creative types. Sadly I am a sucker for them. Nightmare to be with them though, I remember dating an artist for a few years and every time we argued he just couldn't be creative again for weeks. Couldn't be doing with that tbh.

"Oh aye. But I think Tea is going on a counselling session where he'll be, so I completely understand her reluctance. I have a romantic notion she can show her fabulosity on said day and then go for a gentle coffee with said bloke and ah...all will be well"

Exactly Googoo much better

goo goo what the hell is appreciating his nuances? that really is a good one.
Can't believe the given away cat story, honestly what is it with these men?
Here's a good one for today. My H as many of you know chucked in his job and left us all at the same time. Job was chief executive as a charity. My sister who works for a big company had agreed to be involved in a fund raising thing for the charity, but when he left, given the circumstances, and the fact she is a very busy single mother herself, decided to resign from the committee. This was last July.
The tables are now on sale for the function and guess what? H has copied me in on an e mail he has today sent to my sister, saying do hope her company will take a table (NB we are talking thousands of pounds here), and signing off lots of love to her two boys.
He has not spoken to any member of my family since last July. How does he think he can send a jolly little e mail like this, without getting at the very least laughed out of court? My sister will be gob smacked! The barefaced cheek is incredible.
Any way he is down again this weekend and I will be here too. It is not a co-parenting weekend, it is meant to be a Dad weekend, so I am going to take the opportunity to do my own thing over the weekend, just keeping my cool. Dignity Street, I am coming.

Hello! agter the finances being mentioned last night, I sent him an email today to ask how he was going on Re: getting the hosue on the market.

his reply..."..he is now weighing up his options"

God, just as I am getting on with my life - I think he's going to be an arse about it.

The idea of actually having to communicate with him about it disturbs me.

urghhh, these XH's, words escape me.

have had texts with mine this week.

drives me round the freaking bend tbh.

All these men have massive egos and are also completely mercenary - Kate's ex bloke is "weighing up his options" rather than thinking about what would be best for the family he has left; Offschool's ex is thinking about his own finances too. They're all just great aren't they?
Happy's ex is a complete wally (putting it mildly)
Starting's ex is a clumsy wally.
Funnily enough, my exh is extremely clumsy. When we were newly married, he burnt some toast in the toaster, tried to get it out with a knife, electrocuted himself, fused the whole house and in his panic, banged his head so hard on the cooker hood that it fell off...
Thank you Tea. Not usually known for my restraint in romantic matters but there's a first time for everything. You see, I always appreciate nuances :)

Ok ok goo your plan for tea sounds better . Love the toaster story , did you see it happen ?

Offschool priceless about the charity do, hope your mouth is better

Starting lol @ the shouldering the coffin story thats the best so far

Happy sorry BE is playing up

Kate hate to say it but have you been given your legal options re house and finance ? Just think it may help to have facts to hand

Elsie how was last night meal , did you say XP would be attending ?

Patience how are things ? Any sign of sunshine in Scotland ?

Had a great day getting stuff done and had a long chat with my lovely estate agent (its true) and feel reassured about a number of things. Leaving my rejected offer on the house on the table for now see what happens in the next week or so.

So all my xp stories involve him drunk.

Mum lives abroad so when she comes its for a few days at a time. One time she is staying and he gets home after we have all gone to bed steams into the room Mum is in switches on the light , jumps into bed next to her ordering her to move over . A case of mistaken identity

If you have a quiet night planned this amazing lady is finally in labour after her waters breaking whilst on holiday in America and having to spend 6 weeks in a US hospital on travel insurance being monitored. She's an inspiration.

Her original thread for background

Thought it'd make a change to where I usually lurk at night on here and you may enjoy it too.

Kate I can't believe about the cat by the way Most of the men on here make me speechless and far too often.

Hello chums. Need to read the thread to catch up as life is busy, busy, busy. Guess that's because I'm getting back on track again .
DS's birthday meal was...interesting. Suffice to say I've had to pm WWIFN. I don't feel able to post on here in any detail because I don't know who's lurking.
Sorry to be so cryptic .

Hi Elsie. Oh dear. Interesting...hope it wasn't too stressful. I know you said he had hinted at stress. I'm really :) you're getting back on track though x

Anyone on here tonight? Hope you are all well :)

ladies

Hi - at long last I am back. Thanks so much for the PMs. I am here (just!). Its just been a bit of a funny time... I was finding the 2 DCs just too much by myself so I went and stayed at my mum's for a couple of weeks to get away from it all and internet not really hooked up there. Then I was back for a week and have been feeling like I have gone backwards. Keep getting so upset about the loss of my marriage and who I thought the man I married was...so sad that DD has to deal with this at such a young age and that my 7 month old baby will never have even lived in the same house as his dad - at least my DD did til she was 2...

Anyway It felt like a downward spiral and I just completely closed down for a week - couldn't face the world as I was just in tears. I really should have come on here as this thread is amazing but for some reason at the time it just felt like being on here would remind me of my situation even more and I had had enough of being me and the reality of it all...

I then had a friend's 40th away for a few days (we stayed over and it was full to the brim with seemingly perfect families - most of whom I didn't know and I just felt they were all pitying me - ho hum - maybe they weren't) and since then have spent the last week knee deep in baby poo and vomit as both have had a bug that is doing the rounds...poor DS's body has shrunk he has been so poorly and none of us have had any sleep which I think must make things seem 10000 times worse...

so I am sorry have not been on here. I still haven't had a chance to read what I have missed but plan to tomorrow when I have a couple of hours free.

Goodness this is tough. I was thinking how the grieving process is like the seasons... like you think you are into spring and moving forwards then you get a really rainy cloudy day - then the next day so so - it all kind of overlaps doesn't it ?..... Anyway it kind of helps me as I love blossom trees and have seen one of two popping up and also helps me to see that this is hopefully an extended period of bad weather - but we are heading towards spring . Sitting here in tears as have had to see DH this morning and he was being nice and understanding which is always tough.

Anyway I can hear a baby crying so will read what I have missed as soon as I can. Hello to everyone and I have really missed you all. Its good to be back

Big hugs cv I could have written ur post myself ,ur so articulate ,I just got stuck at I HATE MY LIFE.was reading the final chapter of women who love too much and it really struck a chord with me .Just can't get over getting dumped tbh.I love ur seasons analogy because I have felt the summer sun on my face but have slipped into a real gloom.good thing about that book is I am doing what is recommended and that is good.big hugs to u can u get out to a CODA meeting just for some support ? Left a message for my counsellor today hopefully get an appointment soon x

CV - glad to have you back and so sorry you are going through the really shitty part. I promise it will get better. Lots of love x
Patience - glad you have left message for counsellor. Seasons thing is great, I agree - that's just what it's like.
Well, I'm stressed today - shaking now actually. Still waiting for official letter from boss about disciplining me - it's awful going into work at the moment. Now I need your advice ladies. Last week it was exbf's birthday and I didn't text him. Then today I get an email from one of the girls in his village's book club, inviting me to go for a beauty treatment with the rest of the girls. Two of them sent me messages on fb saying that they missed me and I repleid saying I missed them and just wasn't on fb very much now.
Anyway, today I get a text from exbf. It says "Hello. I'd like to have a chat with you sometime. Hoping that you can maintain your village friendships beyond our relationship and want to say a couple of things to you. Hopefully catch up soon?"
I think he's got a bloody nerve and I'm tempted to email him saying that I know he's back on dating site saying he "hasn't had a companion in 5 years" and I was really hurt that he put those songs on fb and also sent them to a recording studio and that i really don't want to speak to him. What do you all think I should do? I get the feeling that if he calls me he's going to bollock me for something and I really don't need that.

Hi waves to all.

Grey and raining here.

Nice to see you here Clouded and Patience et al. Clouded, I bet they're not perfect families really, probably just all looks good on the surface. I think people probably thought I was happy with XH too. I remember going away about 5 years ago with some friends for the weekend and crying when I had to leave as I didn't want to go home .

Patience, counsellor a great idea I think - I will be off to mine soon. Unusually I think I will probably weep there today - usually find it hard to cry but I will do my best today.

Elsie, hope whatever happened at DS's meal did not spoil his time.

Hi Goo, I'd probably ignore him unless you want to find a way to keep up the friendship with the girls in his village?

Or otherwise try to find out what he wants without getting dragged into something you'd regret.

I'm going to beauty treatment thing - it's not in the village. Think I'll be able to keep up friendships quite well without having to see him. Just wish he'd leave me alone. He's not my dad - he doesn't need to tell me what to do after we've split. It's really annoyed me.

Oh I'm stressed girls. Everything a bit much today :(

Googoo I can't read your message you sent me on facebook for some reason You OK?

Devastated on the other ditched thread has had a hellish day and I'm angry after reading about it about the awful OW. But I'm sure tonight she could use alot of wise words from the girls on here. Hideous situation. So please pop over there, it's so quiet on there nowadays.

Well this is just my opinion but I'd be blase with him Googoo and say by text that you're planning on meeting the girls for a beauty treatment which you're looking forward to. Hope he had a nice birthday. Can he text you his query as you're really busy at the moment Something like that. Keep the distance. I'm sure it's nothing my lovely but you don't have to answer the phone to him at all. Will certainly maintain the perception your're busy

I hope you've contacted the union about this letter from your boss and you're taking their advice here. Big ((hugs)) sounds like a very stressful time, compartmentalise if you can, but please do not answer exbf calls, you don't need to. That will be one less stress for you. You guys are over Be strong x x x