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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have just discovered that i am pregnant but, don't want to be with my partner no more!

303 replies

sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 18:15

Done a pregnancy test today ad it came back positive.

My boyfriend is wanker and i don't want to be with him no more :/

i don't know what to do shall i tell him am pregnant?

OP posts:
saveable · 27/01/2011 16:03

Yo had TEN MINUTES inbetween posts where you've apparently told the father
Bullshit

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 16:06

but saveable, the babyfather is over the moon at the prospect of another little one to cherish and love...

Going to be busy daddy tho, all that running around the corner trying to keep two ex gfs happy and babies in nappies

welshbyrd · 27/01/2011 16:07

Can not get over "I have told the baby father and he was over the moon and wants to be there for both this kids" followed by a very cheesy Smile , like everything is sorted Hmm

also "Back together for 3 weeks was together 7 months and split up for 3, its not as if i don't know the lad now is it."

Jeez all this has taken place in that little amount of time. And known his 7 months, split for 3months

Can not help thinking OP could be deluding herself into thinking her partner is now trapped to her, so to speak, Never going to work, did not work for the other mum to be.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 27/01/2011 16:09

Sweetchecks, I hate to make this more complicated, but if those dates are right then surely it's more likely that you got pregnant either before the break-up or during the gap in our relationship. Is it possible that you could have got pregnant in the three month gap? It's just that 3 weeks seems like an awfully short time to get pregnant and test positive. (Sorry if am talking out of my arse)

If I were you, I would be thinking seriously about an abortion, especially as you are so early on (if you are). Your existing little girl and you may do really well when you've got a job and are earning. At least with care work there is always a demand for staff :)

Am a bit Shock at everyone on here apparently telling the OP that she should abort because you don't want to pay for her children. For all you know the OP has amazing business acumen and will be running a million-pound care company in 10 years time, while you or your partners could get the sack/lose your savings tomorrow and other people would be footing your bills and those of your children. I agree that an abortion is well worth thinking about but it is wrong in my view to be putting pressure on someone to abort. Would you do this in real life?

Lulumaam · 27/01/2011 16:10

If my daughter is in this situation when she;s 20, I'd tell her the same thing I have posted here.

It's hard enough with a stable relationship, house, car, job , money, support

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 16:11

Maybe its just a question of perspective. There are communities where this kind of bed and relationship hopping plus a bit of baby making are the norm.

In that context, sweet is probably a bit unusual in seeking to gain qualifications.

But it does not make her the heroine of her life story.

Displaying her story to a wider community such as MN will obviously show another perspective, ie, she is bonkers to even think about it.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 16:17

i got pregnant with ds2 when EXP was home on leave for one week in august. i tested positive 1 week later. OP's timeframe is possible.

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 16:24

I take it the bf is not a wanker anymore.

Yes, it is indeed possible, in that time frame. Unlikely, but as you say, possible.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 16:29

not sure why it is unlikey. most wome have a cycle length of between 28 and 35 days. if OP was ovulating 3 weeks ago when she first had unprotected sex her period would have been due anytime within the last week. it is entirely plausible that she tested yesterday. as you know it only takes one sprem to conceive. once is all it takes. nothing unlikely about having a week of unprotected sex and then discovering within a month that you are pregnant.

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 16:31

Indeed. Imagine my own surprise at having concieved on the day before my period was due...

Anyone remember persona?

hollow laugh.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 16:43

So, while I was out, paying the bills and doing the school run, laughinglil was rude about me. Anyone care to repeat it for me?

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 16:45

um, there was the post about rather having a young mother than an old ill one...

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 16:47

no, twas ilove who put the cherry on the cake. Post still there, acouple of pages back.

Original poster
sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 16:54

Am hiding this thread now

thanks again for all the support

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 16:55

Glad you got what you wanted out of it.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 16:58

Yeah, a young, stupid and skint mother. What a catch.

Ohforfoxsake · 27/01/2011 16:59

All of this aside, Sweetchecks, have you decided if you will continue with the pregnancy?

In answer to your original post, yes you should tell him. For the simple reason that you should not use your pregnancy or child to manipulate the situation.

If you decide to have the baby, accept that he may not be part of your life. Whether you do or don't, make sure you are confident of your decision and stay strong.

The best support you have are your parents. Have you told them and asked their advice?

Original poster
sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 17:03

Yes i have decided to go with with the pregnancy and no i have not yet told them.

OP posts:
laughinglil · 27/01/2011 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 17:13

tell you what, laughinglil, your spiteful, vindictive and unpleasant post will not go unreported.

And now I am going to do something I have longed to do on MN...

Fuck off. And when you get there, fuck right off again.

DuelingFanjo · 27/01/2011 17:13

you're

laughinglil · 27/01/2011 17:14

Ooh scary stuff!

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 17:16

My dear, I doubt you have the emotional range to be scared of anything.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 17:16

I'll tell you how great a mother I am, although I don't give a damn what anyone called lil actually thinks.

I had the chance to drink iodine to kill my thyroid, no major thing, lots of people do it. Only problem is, it makes you radioactive for two weeks, and meant I couldn't be near my son, who was one at the time. I would literally have to stay in a hotel for a fortnight, and avoid children, who are vulnerable to the effects.

I wasn't prepared to leave my son for two weeks, so I had the surgery. The problem is, the surgeon made a mistake and left me bleeding internally. By the time anyone took me seriously I was drowning in my own blood. I had to have my throat cut open, in the lobby of the hospital just as I was getting into a taxi to go for help at an NHS hospital.( was in a private hospital)

I then had eight hours more surgery to save my life. As a result I am on 18 pills a day. I walk, run, cook, drive, do all the things normal folk do. But I pay the price with sheer exhaustion and pain. I could have sued the hospital for thousands, but didn't. The doctors eventually saved my life and I will always be greatful, that's enough for me. I just wanted to live, to be with my husband and my son.

So, before you think being ill equates to being a bad mother, do some fact checking. Or maybe, get a life.Smile

Lulumaam · 27/01/2011 17:18

gosh lil, how insightful and such a helpful contribution

best give your children away before you hit 35, eh?

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