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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I have just discovered that i am pregnant but, don't want to be with my partner no more!

303 replies

sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 18:15

Done a pregnancy test today ad it came back positive.

My boyfriend is wanker and i don't want to be with him no more :/

i don't know what to do shall i tell him am pregnant?

OP posts:
welshbyrd · 27/01/2011 14:57

I do not think the teenage mother scenario is the problem here laughinglil - the OPs shit happens attitude, Your lack of realisation of the situation, they way OP has typed she is neither upset, worried, shocked of the situation, while the situation is far from ideal

And I had a baby when I was 17, the father was in jail at the time, so yes I know, not all teenage mums are benefit scrounging baby machines.

Laughinglil Im stunned with your comment regarding perfumedlife, how a mother could even thing such a terrible thing

welshbyrd · 27/01/2011 14:59

Her lack of realisation of the situation shit, crap, bollocks, Ive being doing this all day

sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 15:06

shouldnotbehere and iloveitwhenyoucallmeboo thank you. I will finish my course i am doing health and social care and leaves me with a few options and different Jobs.

The people that are judging me are obviously heartless.

I don't find this situation at all funny, infact i find it far from funny.

I have told the baby father and he was over the moon and wants to be there for both this kids :)

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 15:06

Ah, Ilove, do look at the original post.

I don't know what to do.

Shall I tell him I am pregnant?

I don't know what to do was clearly structured in a way to elicit responses to her situation.

The shall I tell him I am pregnant seemed a seperate issue.

Do get over yourself.

No one is having a go a young mums.

People were asked what should she do as she is pregnant by some one she doesn't even like.

A variety of experiences and options were posted. One option included the very sensisible in many circumstances option of abortion.

Cue babykilling cries, and OP stating she doesn't beleive in abortion so thats not an issue. Took a long time for her to get around to telling us that however.

Do not ask for advice if you do not want to get it. And its fantastically rude to not even acknowledge that posters have taken time and energy to discuss her situation and share their own experiences in order to help her make a more informed decision about her life.

Clearly OP does NOT want advice from other women, young and old, who have lived through this kind of thing and actually do know how hard it is.

Instead she is sticking her fingers in her ears and going la la la la! It'll all be fine.

So her only question, we discover, is should she tell her boyfriend? Which sort of beggers belief....

TBH, this is all a biit under the bridge for me. the OP seems to have no feelings at all apart from LOL!

And actually, she has no idea how hard it is to raise a child by yourself, because she has never done it. She lives with her parents. A very different ballgame.

So yes, people are cross, not because she is young and a mum, not because she is pregnant (we just thinks she's daft for for that) but because her towering naivity and inability to actually take on board anything apart from posts that support her childish and egocentric desire to have another baby when she can barely support the one she has.

She's not little Bo Beep, for gods sake, she is an adult now and has a child to consider. Merrily sprogging away jbecause of some sentimental "don't beleive in abortion" mantra, and all she has to wonder about is whether to tell the cheating shite she so carefully chose as a life partner he is going to have yet another child.

Marvellous. Its called taking the piss.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 15:07

i am not the only one over personalising this SGM. it is very obvious why some posters are being so harsh on the OP. it isn't about them eitehr but it hasn't stopped them uleashing all their own unresolved issues on her.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 15:08

actually madame.
you look at teh OP

"i don't know what to do shall i tell him am pregnant?"

all the one sentance. one question, not two.

but dont let facts get then way of being up your own arse.

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 15:11

sweetcheeks, its a public forum, love. I can post wherever I like.

And despite the fact I did in fact share personal information in order to help you make a more informed decision, you neither acknowledged it nor engaged in it.

I would suggest you don't post details of your life if you don't want comments on it.

And do stop with the passive aggressive smiley.

I sort of felt sorry for you, more fool me.

The thing is, you just come over as someone enjoying all the attention, not someone in the middle of a life crisis.

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 15:13

I love, you know perfectly well that sentence is open to several interpretations, no need for pedantry and rudeness.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 15:13

how patronising. "i sort of felt sorry for you"

really OP you will be best off hiding this thread. glad you havemade your decision and told the dad. i hope he lives up to his responsibility. and wish you all the best.

FellatioNelson · 27/01/2011 15:14

MadameDefarge is right again. As am I.

But no! Hang on! We are just 'heartless.'

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 15:16

And what is so harsh about pointing out being the single parent of two children is not a bed of roses?

But as you have appointed yourself her champion in this debacle of arrant stupidity and narcissism, go on, tell her it'll be just peachy.

FellatioNelson · 27/01/2011 15:17

Yes OP, do hide the thread. Stick your fingers in your ears. Stick your head up your arse. Be an ostrich. Be a sheep. Be anything except a responsible adult.

StewieGriffinsMom · 27/01/2011 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 15:20

done with this. you're just making it up now.

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 15:22

making what up?

StewieGriffinsMom · 27/01/2011 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 15:24

Maybe I love didn't know that her boyfriend of three weeks has an ex about to give birth to his baby.

sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 15:43

Back together for 3 weeks was together 7 months and split up for 3, its not as if i don't know the lad now is it.

And i have read all the posts i just can't reply to every single one as i will be sitting here all day doing so.

OP posts:
sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 15:44

And i am not making anything up.

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 15:47

sweet cheeks, it is confusing. How do you know you are pregnant if you have only been back together for three weeks?

welshbyrd · 27/01/2011 15:48

agree with madamedefarge an stewiegriffinsmom - I did try wording these concerns, however, my English is not great so have not worded it as well as Id hoped. The "shit happens" attitude is worrying beyond belief.

welshbyrd · 27/01/2011 15:49

7 months? you think you know him well?

sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 15:53

Like i said i done a test and it came back positive. I won't be that far gone i know. I haven't made an appoint at the hospital for a scan yet either.

Whether you people believe this thread or not is your opinion.

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 27/01/2011 15:53

So the maths on this is...

with bf for 7 months.

Split up for 3.

Back together now for 3 weeks.

In this time he has cheated on you, got an exgirlfriend pregnant who is about to give birth.

So he cheated on you three to four months into your relationship, you stayed with him for another three to four months.

He went back to ex girl friend who having his baby but has now left ex girlfriend (just before she gives birth) to be with you.

You have been together now for 3 weeks and have just done a pregnancy test and are pregnant.

what is not to love about this?

Lulumaam · 27/01/2011 15:59

I got a bollocking last night from iloveit, for daring to suggest that the OP might not be in the ideal circs for having a second child. I totally agree with Fellation & MadameDefarge

Madame has articulated what I wanted to try to say

pretending that it will all be ok, is not the right approach

i realise that having a baby at a young age, with no job/home/quals/steady partner is not in itself a reason to terminate . but it should at least give pause for thought, because it;s not just about the baby , it's about the child who is already there too, the next 18 years minimum etc

pretending that having a baby with a cheating man, who alraedy has a child with an ex, will be ok, is wrong

it might all turn out ok, but i dont get the witch hunt against anyone with an ounce of pragmatism and realism

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