The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The New Year Wine Offers!

[Mouseface]

Hello all.

We are the Brave Babes. We're on the Battle Bus, travelling around sobriety and going day by day, hour by hour, through the detox hell of not drinking, cutting down or sometimes even not.

Come say hi. We won't bite.

No doubt one of us has been where you are now......

It's fine. No judging, no nasty jibes, just us, the BBs.

Come meet the others..................

Morning lovely babes, and lovely Miflaw,

I feel a bit super-duper this morning .

I went to bed at 9pm, after my bath, and I think it was just what I needed. Also DC1 rang at about 8.15, and I was so glad to chat, and not worry that I was getting my words mixed up, etc.

Maybe I took in more of that book than I thought.

Isinde [kiss,kiss icon] so glad to hear from you. I hope you got some sleep last night, and don't feel too bad this morning. Please keep posting on here. I am sorry if I have ever annoyed you. I try to think really hard before I post, but sometimes I just write!
You will find yourself in a better place soon, just the fact that you wrote you just don't care (been there!, many times) shows that you do.

Ma How are you today?

Mouse nearly the end of the week, how are the builders doing? I hope it hasn't upset Nemo too much, and disturbed his routine. Although it has disturbed yours, and children pick up on that, don't they.

Going up for a shower now (TMI), no work today, as I said, but no excuse for lying around eating mashed potato sandwiches, for me today, maybe my thoughts last night were trying to sabotage myself for today, so that I could do exactly that .

Speak later xxxx

Hello, just waiting around to see if anybody's there...., and have re-read yesterdays posts. Miflaw I do see what you meant now, about splitting hairs. It was not drinking that gave you your life back, AA facilitated it, is that right?

I'm here for a bit thurso. I think that's what MIFLAW meant, AA means that I have not just a way of stopping drinking but a way of living, ODAAT. I still can't imagine tbh being where miflaw is but I know that being where I am now is so much better than being where I was two weeks ago.

boing!!!!

i feel bloody fantastic!! - i have been an absolute business tyhoon!, in fact we all have!, we have secured our future for a few more years and it has taken years off us!! AND I DID IT FUCKING SOBER!!!

isindi - feeling a bit better today?, im glad no-one tried taking you on last night!

thurso, have a lovley day off, all bright and hangover free!, great aint it?

btw, previously, a new contract like this one would have sent me on a 3 day 'celebration bender' - i feel quite proud of myself right now, for so many reasons!

Hiya. I'm here too.

Noteven and Thurso you both sound 'boingy'.

I went out last night and drank but pleased with myself because I was in control - phew!

Just want to say sorry if i've ever seemed patronising or irritating. I do hope not. We're here to support aren't we? Whether that be straight talking, just 'listening' or blathering on (I'm definitely in the last two categories )

tycoon I assume jwn, though if you boing much more you might turn into a typhoon!!

I am going to write deep meaningful things down now in the safety of going to a meeting afterwards but am procrastinating because I am terrified of seeing the truth of the things I have done in black and white.

HI everyone. I feel rough today, am sick of not having the willpower to stick to just a couple of drinks. Had a nightmare with the DC's yesterday so that was yesterdays excuse to drink. Think I should slink off the bus until I find some willpower

Hello all.

I THINK what I meant about splitting hairs is that, massive fan of AA as I am, the single change that gave me my life back (and meant I had a life that could be given back to me) was stopping drinking. Not cutting down, not stopping and starting, not alternating a glass of wine with a glass of water (who are these saintly individuals who can do that once the first drink is in them?) - STOPPING, and then becoming happy that I had stopped, not craving a drink but just enjoying life without one. However I accomplished those two things - don't drink at all, enjoy life without it - I would have ended up somewhere like where i am today.

For me, the only way I found to achieve it was in AA, and I'm very happy about that too. But staying drunk in AA, though safe and encouraging, would have been miserable; and staying sober outside of AA, as long as it was happy sobriety, would have been great too.

I'm mainly saying, I hope it's not splitting hairs to say let's not confuse the means with the end, even though, for some of us, there may only be one means.

Noteven:

"I still can't imagine tbh being where miflaw is"

If I have any advantage over most of you, it's that I CAN imagine being where you are, because I've been there. If anyone ever thinks I'm being patronising, condescending, unkind, insensitive then I really don't mean to be but I will try to take the criticism on the chin.

But please never feel that I am saying what I say because I don't know what it's like. I really do.

hope everyone has a happy and sober day, however they achieve it.

Zany

Willpower will kill you.

Willpower is what is going to enable you to force the first drink down even though you feel shit.

Willpower is what is going to allow you to wage a one-woman war on all the people and circumstances conniving to stop you drinking, whether it's hiding drink from your family or walking through the pissing rain to the off-licence at 9.55pm.

You do NOT need willpower because this is not a fight. It WAS a fight; and you have lost. Alcohol has won. If you keep fighting he/she/it will keep hitting you and eventually you will die.

Now shake hands, say "well done" and walk away.

CONGRATULATIONS JWN

Celebration of a different kind maybe, Louboutin is online............

noteven - i did mean typhoon! , its one of those family things, dd asked dh if he was a 'business typhoon' when she was about 6 and it kinda stuck!

btw, as to writing things down, i decided that after the initial list i made of the reasons i wanted to stay sober and the things i hated myself for when drunk, i have given myself a bit of break, i still feel that im in very early soberity (after all, i intend to live a good many years yet! ), i think getting a few tools in place to help you stay sober is enough for now, give yourself a little 'healing' time before you confront everything, build up a little self esteem and self respect and some strength, i think that we are still very vulnerable, we know we have done wrong and we will make amends, lets just take a step back and not try and do it all by next friday! (this is a very personal opinion, it works for me, it may not suit your mind-set, and yet.......!)

Ah. Yes definitely see what you mean there Isinde. Right, i'm off to take the dc's swimming. Bloody hard work but they enjoy it .

'See' you all later

dont worry isindi!! we love you too!!

we realised it was the ravings of a drunk friend!!

X posted with lots of people,

Ooooh, I am SO glad I found this thread, and all of you, I can't think where I have ever heard people being so honest, anywhere.

What a massive relief to feel that I can share good times, and bad times, and no-one will judge or be missy wagging finger, or, even if they are, only in a good way.

Blow the icon, what we really need is a virtual big hugs and kisses one

I am definitely guilty of trying to do it all by next Friday. However I am having really intrusive memories and thoughts, and getting those down means they are out, and hopefully will lose the power to intrude. But yes, guilty as charged! I definitely need to keep developing tools to keep me away from the drink and then I will be in a place where I can work on the rest.

I can cycle 4 miles to a meeting and 4 miles home, I can, I just don't want to - need a serious shove out the door in 10 minutes or so!

ruby you are a start to take two littlies swimming!

Hello.

Day 4 of hell on earth. 2 electricians, 2 plumbers and 2 builders, all tearing my house apart, treading shit through for Nemo to walk in and making a fecking mess.

It's cold, I have no hot water and I want to run away.

JWN - well done you! That is fantastic news

IsinDe - mwah and {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}

Bye Babes, be back later.

PS - Red is still off work but sends her love.

Thanks so much IsinDe - that's the trouble, everyone is so far away. Both sets of parents are 2 hous.

Friends and other family even further.

That'll teach me for wanting to live in the countryside

Oh, and the puppy arrrives tomorrow.

I.

Am.

Bonkers!

Hello everyone!

Well I've taken the plunge and I'm going to a meeting tomorrow. Rang the helpline and the woman was LOVELY! She kept saying 'well done' which in any other situation would have been patronising but instead just made me grin and puff out my chest.

About an hour later got a call from a lady who's going to meet me before the meeting tomorrow so we can go in together. It's a mid-morning meeting and she said it is very relaxed.

I will not sleep tonight!

I will report back tomorrow...

tnc - well done!

seriously, i hope that it is the rl help that you need, i know that there are very differing views on aa, but i have found it nothing but helpful!, in fact, im meeting a lady i met at aa for coffee and a bit of a shop tomorrow, we are becoming firm friends and have a good laugh together! its not all 'doom and gloom'!

my energy levels took a crash this afternoon and i have had lovely sleep, i really needed it, previously, i would definatly have gone to the pub , the obvious place to go when feeling exhausted! - now i feel rested, calm and ready to do some jobs this evening!

I have dust, plaster dust, and brick dust in my hair, I have grey clothes and no hot water still.

Thank the sweet Lord that I no longer drink to console myself.

I would be three sheets to the wind right now if I did

It's quiet here this evening - hope that everyone is ok.

Mouse - nearly there lovely, just one more day.

I didn't make it to lunchtime meeting, tried to cycle and was just too worn out. I need to listen to my body sometimes - today was one of those times. Like jwn I had a nap and then had a babysitter booked for tonight. Sometimes every word just seems to be directed at your soul. I just can't believe how much better things are.