The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The New Year Wine Offers!

[Mouseface]

Hello all.

We are the Brave Babes. We're on the Battle Bus, travelling around sobriety and going day by day, hour by hour, through the detox hell of not drinking, cutting down or sometimes even not.

Come say hi. We won't bite.

No doubt one of us has been where you are now......

It's fine. No judging, no nasty jibes, just us, the BBs.

Come meet the others..................

Hello maud, hello everyone else too, tell us about you, maud?

Am doing very well this time not drinking, and was so happy last night to be able to deal with sick children on my own without that horrid warm hungovery sick feeling.

Hello Chardonnaylover and Cristiane, thanks for your messages and it's good to hear you're both doing well :)

I've "struggled" with the stuff for years frankly, I've tried to cut down but that hasn't worked for me. I'm in trouble at work now - not because of alcohol related absence or boozing on the job but because I'm under-performing. I loathe the job but got stuck there in the recession and most of the time I spend there I'm dead inside, not really present. And I'm sure the booze I neck to cheer myself up and drive away all those uncomfortable feelings has contributed to my apathy, self-pity and failure so far even to make a concerted effort to find another job. There are a lot of things about my job (and frankly a number of my colleagues too) to dislike but that doesn't make it OK for me to numb out and "die" all day when I'm taking their money.

New job easier said than done in these times... but I keep finding excuses not to try on the grounds recruiters, God rot 'em, always want dynamic confident unflappable resilient challenge loving self-starters, never easily distracted panicking daydreaming boozy procrastinators for some reason :(

That's where I am now, I'm going to AA this pm... but I'll definitely be back here. I'm finding something very cheering in the image of a battle bus with all of us aboard :)

hi all, just a quick hello before i go!, it always feels very strange to be sitting in full evening wear in the afternoon, makes me feel sort of 'miss havisham'

anyway - hi maud!!, no!, it dosent matter if you are not a mum!, in fact, its nice to hear from you, i find i sometimes get so caught up in 'mumsyness' its nice to hear another perspective!

im looking forward to this evening - should be a good dinner and the speaker sounds really interesting, i just hope there is a choice of some soft drinks, it makes me quire cross these days when the only option is water, now im sober i can see that lots of people would like soft drinks and not just the booze!

btw, christi, its really nice to see you!, when do you start the job?

maud, have you been to aa before?

Maud

Not a mum?

I'm not even a woman!

Where are you based, if you don't mind you asking? Are you in London?

Hello jesuswhatnext, I went to a meeting on Tuesday. Have you? Have a lovely evening btw and good luck with the soft drinks.

Hello MIFLAW, sorry I should have said I'm not a parent! I'm near London, yes.

yes maud, i started going to aa the day after i decided i wanted to be sober, i have found it a great help and have made a couple of really good friends - i now go about once a week, i find it helps keep me grounded, helps me focus on what i want and helps me to think about the resaons why i might be 'craving' a drink and why it REALLY isnt a good idea for me to have one!

Thanks jesuswhatnext, I've been a bit nervous of going along as even now I'm not sure I want to give up for good. Even though I am pretty sure intellectually (just don't get it in my heart) that I'll always end up in the place where I am now and that it would really be best to stop - and stay stopped. In my heart I'm still wanting to have my cake and eat it and I know the requirement for membership of AA is a desire to stop.

I was very nervous when I went to the meeting the other night but what I heard from the people who spoke rang so many bells. I think AA meetings might help me strengthen the part of me that wants to stop.

all you can do is give it a go maud!, try not to worry about giving up 'forever', just give up for today!, 'forever' can be a long time and a very daunting thought, today is just 24 little old hours! , just keep that thought and the rest will follow!

have to go now, good luck for this evening!

see you all in the morning babes!! BE GOOD!

love you all

L XXXXXXXXXX

Maud

No one is asking you to give up for good - it's just for today. If you want to feel shit tomorrow, then drink tomorrow!

Also, when I started in AA, I didn't even fulfil "the only requirement" - I had NO desire WHATSOEVER to stop drinking. I did, however, have a desire to stop drinking the way I was drinking - and that proved to be enough. I am now sober and have been for some time and am happy to be so.

I got sober in East Kent (mainly around Planet Thanet); moved to East London (meetings around Hackney, Bethnal Green and Whitechapel); then to South East london (Peckham); and now to a slightly less scary bit of South East London (the one with the dinosaurs and pathetic football team.) Wherever I have gone and whatever has happened, as long as I have stayed close to AA, I have stayed sober.

Without EVER deciding, still less saying, that I was stopping drinking for good.

Evening all,
You need to talk quickly as if I want to even see this thread I have to log out and find it and scroll through. My own stupid fault but still very frustrating!

Maud well done you for going along. I'm going to AA tonight too. I sort of dipped my toe in at the middle/end of November, and after a house move, new jobs, school, CM, etc, very stressful Christmas, I have been drunk with worrying consequences and I got back into AA 6 days ago and feel completely different. Anyway enough about me. You can go to AA if you think you have a problem with alcohol, no one is going to question why you are there IME. I hope I will get it this time but really all I can do is be sober for today and not think beyond that.

I was out with DD this pm sorting out some phone and internet things that I have been desperately procrastinating about and spending more than I needed to and got some cash back on my old phone, and what was my immediate thought, but, I could spend the evening in the company of a bottle (or more) of wine and no-one would know... urrgh... managed to remind myself that just for today, I have chosen to stay away from the stuff, and by the time I had got into the shop to get us some tea I was calm enough to stick with that decision.
But, I did it, I can say "Get lost" (or more colourful language version) to those old thoughts. And hand it back over again.

I am glad to be going to the meeting tonight, it's a very busy one but freindly and quite spiritual and that's so what I need.

Have a happy, safe, sober evening BBs.

Hello Noteven
You sound very positive tonight, have a good meeting.
By the way, I put this thread on my "favourites", I have to change it for each new one, but it's the fastest way I have found.

Mouse how was hydro?, and how is sweet Nemo this afternoon?, better I hope.

All babes newer than me: I don't think it matters whether you are a mum, woman, man, dad, in between any, or alien on this thread, we are all trying to do the same thing .

Hi peeps!

Ma, my dp used to work on a shift rotation and regularly was working til after I'd gone to bed and I always took a while to get accustomed to sharing the house with him again once he went on earlies. And drink helped too - when he was there and when he wasn't there Hi to Fife!

I am dying for a glass of wine, but thankfully my dd1 has gone to her friend's and will need picked up at some point soon. That'll keep me off the sauce for a bit then a bath once she is home. My DP offered to go and get me wine tonight as I said I could murder a glass and I almost said yes. Such is my habit of having Thursday wine as an almost end of week treat that I can even taste it.

Go noteven. You are fab! This may be a weird question, but are you not terrified about bumping into friends/family/colleagues at meetings? That's one of the many reasons I haven't been brave enough to go ever.

Good luck tonight folks.

HI JWN all good here. DH away we decided a week away in the sun would do wonders for his depression. I know it's only a temporary fix but it's better than nothing.

I still haven't got a start date for work! Being put through a gazillion checks of references and FSA etc. Hopefully soon.

DD1 been, unusually, ill. Has had a fever, up and down, for TWO WEEKS now. Poor thing. Last night DD2 puked at 1am, into my bed, went to sleep eventually practically on my head. Then DD1 came in at 4am having wet her bed. 6am DD1 decided was 'get up' time, 7.30am, having made DD1's packed lunch, checked her fever and it was back at 39 degrees so another day at home for her! 8am it was snowing and this afternoon wild gales!

I have been doing 30 day shred and my goodness ladies it is hard work!

Also I must share my new beauty purchase. By Soap and Glory. It's called Sit Tight. It GETS RID OF CELLULITE! it feels incredible! Who needs to drink when an application of this makes you tingle and tone up!

Maud how did the meeting go? AS everyone says, one day at a time. Also there's that HALT thing which I find very useful - when you fancy a drink, check whether in fact you aren't just Hungry Anxious Lonely or Tired, and try to resolve that first. So, eat something, have a shower, do the bit of paperwork that's bothering you, call a friend, have a relaxing bath and early bed... Whatever... It might just make it easier for you.

venus how are you?

Christiane good for you to do something about DH's depression. I don't know what to do

DH came home from London, had dinner with me (which I couldn't eat, was so worried), then put tv on, despite me saying that both DC's had phoned today, he is just work, work, work .

Crikey, I do wish I could drink, but for tonight, I won't.
Sorry for the downer babes, think I need to sort a lot out now that I am ok (most of the time).
Mucho love xxx

hmmmm de dum de dummmmm I hope I didn't bore you all to tears

Have a good night all, I'm off to tidy up and then [yawn] to bed

christie - it makes you tingle? where should one apply it?
Best product has to be lush's Buffy the Backside Slayer exfoliating bar. Brilliant.

Sorry x posted

Thurso I've been so busy with ill children etc I don't know what is going on for you exactly. I am really sorry it sounds so tough for you. I am very proud of you for saying that you won't drink.

When is the last time you and DH did something pleasant together?

If I remember correctly he was supportive at the beginning wrt you stopping drinking. Please tell me more (I will try to reread your old posts but may not get there quickly)

ma! I applied it to my THIGHS and BUTTOCKS and then my tummy as it needs shrinking and NOWHERE ELSE!

Buffy the Backside Slayer is an awesome name!

was rubbish. Figured I had been good and had a night off and ended up drinking three quarters of a bottle. I am not proud and at the start of the journey but still no excuse. I am off to bed to hang my head in shame before I finisht the bottle. I feel like I have let everyone down...

chardonnay first off, time to change your name!

Then, brush teeth, brush hair, wash face, off to bed with you and have a couple of paracetamol and a big drink of water before you go to sleep.

You'll be fine, tomorrow is another day, we're all here for you

Christiane not tough for me in a lot of ways, but Dh being quite strange with depression in a way that shuts me out if you know?
Can't remember the last time we did something pleasant together without me worrying, or wondering.
He has been mega supportive re: me, but wonder now if that sort of makes him feel better? [ kill me for thinking it]

Evening all
It was a great meeting - they all are at the moment.

MsSoul no it's a very good question and one a lot of people ask. If I bumped into someone I knew there... well, they would be there for the same reason, wouldn't they? Friends - I don't have all that many local friends (have moved around a lot) so unlikely. Family - local family (my aunt) have found out about my drinking (and not pleasantly) so I know they won't be there. Colleagues - bizarrely I'd love to bump into a colleague at AA as I would feel so much identification with them! Its patients that bother me because I do see a lot of people in a week. It's happened once (and was a relief that it finally happened) and she didn't recognise me (? out of context, or as I was in my jeans chatting and laughing compare to in my work suit looking all somber and formal!)

AA works for me. My biggest dither at the moment is whether to ask for another week (plus) off to get more meetings and more sobriety behind me because I feel without my daily meeting I may start to struggle. Ask away though, or tell me to shut up, I am aware I sound a bit evangelical as I am in the throes of it making my life feel so different to how it was.

Night night BBs, love to all.

Thurso i so understand the trepidation that comes wih one's dh having depression. Either you feel shut out which is hurtful or you feel you can't be true to yourself, you can't say what you normally would, for fear of causing another downward spiral

And i absolutely know what you mean about his feeling better by helping you. But i think that's often the way. It might be odd but sometimes one can get fired up and inspired by helping someone. Although it probably makes you feel very vulnerable. And of course, for goodness sake, it is ridiculous isn't it that something so simple can 'help' their depression, yet next time you feel you need them to be strong with you they can't be, they just plummet back in to the ways of old