When I began to feel like that I booked some counseling. That was a big help, I also started reading some good books. Patience has a good thread here on books: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1083006-All-New-Road-to-Recovery-for-the-Recently-Ditched-Book-Club
And finally I spoke to the GP and went on anti depressants. In the early days I didn't want to go on ADs and was determined not to, but I reached a point about 7 or 8 months down the line where I just felt so emotionally exhausted. I didn't see it coming, I was living this reality, it was like ground hog day, everything was so grey. The storms of tears had passed, the extreme emotions had gone and in its place was this weariness with life, I almost felt dead on the inside, tired and hopeless. I think on the outside people thought I was getting better as I wasn't crying, sad or angry anymore. But it's like a sadness too deep for tears, a lethargy and inability to get on with life. If this sounds similar, please see your GP Spook. I feel so amazing now and feel like a different woman, thanks to the ADs and the counseling was such a great place to talk and feel safe talking about everythng and all my feelings.
I do not have any close friends and felt very isolated when I separated, as all my friends are happily married. In fact some people began to avoid me. The person who was your closest friend can begin to act like your worst enemy. It can be very isolating. There's no funeral, no public demonstration of mourning, no cards, no flowers and no gathering of sympathetic friends, there's no acvknowledgement of our loss, no one to share past happy memories with, it's like the past is wiped out and never existed. Our husband, their father and our life together. We loose them but we keep thinking they'll come back, they'll change their minds, we even wonder if this is real. We can have a lot of dreams, some good, some very painful as our minds process it all. We're suddenly alone, when we've spent upteen years together. It is hard, very hard.
I know this post sounds more negative than positive, but I wanted you to know that each one of us on this thread has experienced this, each in our own way, depending on our situation but keep talking on here, cry and please speak to your GP if these feelings do not subside. Many many ((hugs)) lovely x