Chin Up and Tits Out for the Recently Ditched No. 12

[KateonMN]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

Stay a while and tell your story and when you are ready we are sure you will make the move to being a Dumpling no more!

Eating, but only a bit, looking forward to the size 14 jeans as a perk of this .

Neither of us have a fantastic circle of close friends....I guess the only person he would have been be close enough to to borrow sofa is OW, and seeing as she isn't talking to him ATM and I doubt her DH would allow it that it...

His parents live too far away to make staying there practical, I need him to be able to carry on collecting DCs from school. I hate being dependant on him for childcare. We have both been working part time and juggling childcare between us, but I guess in terms of how much he actually does he would have been the primary carer and that is difficult to chance overnight.

Good luck spook,thinking of u ,RL is so damn complicated sometimes.
Like u fairy I could never imagine my X would be sleeping with a 21yo pt waitress ,all part of his mlc ,just when u think they can't sink lower,they slither down to darker depths.

Xp been out for a couple of hours with dcs.

I just sat here in an empty house and realised that this is how I will be spending some or all of my weekends from now...sitting in my house on my own :(

I don't want to be doing this :(

slightly-ah but slightly it wont always feel like that i am sure,my h sees the dc here as i cant trust him on his own but my mil takes children once a fortnight.The 1st time i thought i was going to have a panic attack because it just made me feel like you are describing but now i am actualy going to ring her tomorrow ask if she will have them over night next week,i have realised i need time to look after my self so that i can look after the dc properly without cracking up.
Patience-hope your holding up

Doing ok fairy had a vile phonecall last night but he phoned later and apologised .he's got the kids today.so been out with friends and back for a relaxing afternoon.hope ur cool and everyone else is holding up.its tough but we are better off without them.found out she was a barmaid at his boozer,so predictable.

patience-just try not to let her see you are bothered,just remember the bad points about your H and think she will soon be having to deal with them.This is what i did today as H turned up we all sat at table colouring was really nice then took dc to park i was playing frisbe with 3dc leaving dc4 with him,shes 18months he was stood next to her on phone as always and she started climbing up frame and bashed her face,i know accidents happen but he was always on his phone here and see its not changed now.

Thats it fairy thing is I'm not bothered.she said I couldn't keep my man I was a bad wife and she makes him v happy ,I said I'm sure u do but I didn't want an alcoholic for a husband thanks.
Just had a dig cos they drove me mad with their secrets but I cried my tears months ago so not too bad will be better as time goes on.X says she will never meet my kids and that's the best bit.just want to encourage Sunday visits now and get into a pattern so kids know whats what.
Oh she also said I was a skinny bitch with no man and I would never get a man cos I'm 40 with 2 kids.uve got to laff her mother is a single mum and her father was an alcoholic.

She's really bothered by you isn't she? I think it's cos she knows you still have a hold on her new bf. Heaven help her I say x

Just want to say a huge thank you to all you lovely ladies for getting me through this,been feeling great now for 6 days so definatly think i am turning a corner,i had faith in what you said,took your advice and i am going to make it,its a long hard road i am sure, but i am still walking.
Sat here in bed doing what i want,dont care the tea dishes are not done etc ,have no one else to please and its great.Hope everyone else is doing ok.

oooo the sat in bed bit sounds wrong,i am about to watch casualty on catch up ha ha

fairy, I agree I was only saying today to a work colleague that you lovely ladies have got me through this worse time in my life.

You are so right being able to do what you want when you want does have some advantages. Keep strong fairy it is so lovely to hear the positivity in your messages.

That's great Fairy You are all welcome to pop on the other thread you know

thanks rom and tea,i just know that many people are probably lurking,feeling as desperate as i did at the begining and wanted them to know it does get better,its nearly 8 weeks for me but i feel human at last.I know i will still have many hard times but coming from a place where i was struggling to stop myself commiting suicide this is progress.

Fairy I know exactly where you are coming from, if you had told me that I would get to a better place anytime soon I would have thought you were talking a load of old rubbish (again I really didnt want to live, I couldnt see anyway through this hurt and pain), but it really is just time.

Chin up ladies, we will get there in the end, and definitely tits out!! Keep strong lovelies

Fairy you are doing fabulously, 8 weeks and I was still a wreck! Pat yourself on your back for progress.

eeek tits out,reminds me of the plan i have for myself after 4 dc and extended breastfeeding my boobs are yuk to say the least,i always had lovely boobies till i had dc4,so i am going to save for a boob job iknow lots of people dont agree and i would be doing this for me ,H never said anything negative about them.
I have made myself a little plan,no time limits just targets to work to.
-Make sure me and dc are happy and sane
-learn to drive and get a car
-support my mum to make her last days as easy as possible
-get a job
-get a boob job
thats in order of importance but life is constantly changing and i may add more.
target 1 is a constant work in progress and have saved 80% of money needed for a quick driving course

just realised that looks bad saying learning to drive is more important than my mum,i mean i need to learn to drive before my mum gets too bad so i can get down to her easier/take her to hospital etc

Waves to fairy so good when u get round the first corner.hope mums ok and ur managing hospital appointments x

Fairy and others hello - it is great that you are feeling better. i do too - although still preoccupied with the massive changes in our lives over the last 8 weeks.

I am clear though that i would not want my H back now - he has really become someone that i cant respect and understand and for me respect is a huge issue. I loved him because he was a good father, husband and friend and all of this has changed beyond recognition and therefore i wouldnt want him back and i am beginning to look to the future. My gorgeous DD and i will be fine - more than fine we will be happy and move on. He will be the sad and reretful one when he realises what a witch the ow is.

A good friend told me something that the OW did yesterday which staggers me about how nasty and vindictive she is and i know that in time she will not be able to stop herself being the real her in front of my H and when that keeps happening the doubts will rise to the surface and he will realise his mistake.

Fairy Im really impressed by your action list -its great.

Also you are doing amazing only a few weeks in

Im not impressed by all the silly immature 21 year olds. They arent in reality - and the competitive thing just makes me go yuck - what integrity do they have?

Patience just dont engage at all with the silly bint - it will annoy the hell out of her as she is so competitive.

SMS It is so tough - cant pretend other wise. Can remember posting on Lone Parents about how devastated I was at weekends without kids. But in much better place now about it all. Please do get H out earlier if you can - it will hurt you less in long run.

Hi to all you lovely ladies - your strength is amazing and has me in awe - I was far worse than you at all stages.

Yes Hi from me too and I echo Mumfun that I was far worse emotionally than you all seem now

mumfun-thanks,i may add to it but at least now i think of the future instead of suicide.
Patience-hope you have not had any more texts /calls.
dev-you sound like your doing well,i cant say that i would not take my H back but hope that i will be able to say it soon.
slightly-hope your ok ,feel very sorry for you its an awful situation you are in,i find it painful enough spending time with h when he comes to see kids.
elsie-hope your ok,not seen you for a while,hope that means your busy having great times.
Well h has stuck to ringing dc every night and saw them twice last week and planning same this week,although i am happyn for kids its painful to have him here doing normal family things,had to ask his help with several things round house ,think i need to buy some diy books.

Just to say had a quiet day and I have detatched completely they will get their comeuppance if they stick together everyone will be disgusted at the pair of them.

Hello all.
Fairy, yes I'm busy but not with good times unfortunately. I'm up in Manchester with ds who has to give evidence in crown court tomorrow as he was seriously assaulted a year ago. Desperately hoping that his assailant changes his plea to guilty at the last moment. So glad you're feeling a bit more positive.
I need to read back and catch up with everyone but just about to take ds and his gf out for a bit to eat. I'll try to come back later x

Elsie-hope he does change his plea and its not to stressful for you and your ds ,hope you had a nice meal .
Hope everyone else is doing ok?
Having a very tiny wobble tonight,just thinking of life in general and how well you can really know anyone.H swings between admitting a lot of this is his fault to blaming me amd portraying me as some kind of verbal bully yet right from the start i have blamed myself for neglecting him because i was too busy with my dying mum and naughty ds and velcro baby dd,how does that work?Even last night when he text me about having stopped drugs ,i ended up apologising as he said he used to get hurt when i called him a junkie because he wasnt,why should i apologise when his drug use caused so much upset to our family,he has never said sorry for any of this,i dont understand myself and why i cant be horrid to him.