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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My boyfriend and i have split up

126 replies

fairyfly · 03/10/2005 20:24

If anyone needs some advice on totally messing up relationships please cat me. I am perfecting the art.

OP posts:
popsycal · 03/10/2005 20:25

oh no....

WideWebWitch · 03/10/2005 20:26

Oh no ff, I thought he was nice? What happened?

LilacLotus · 03/10/2005 20:26

awww
hug

SherlockLGJ · 03/10/2005 20:27

Aw sweetheart I have to go and have supper,but will check back.

Is it just a blip ??

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/10/2005 20:30

He is wonderful i love him dearly but......

I was starting to crave for more commitment and really starting to see us as a family.
My boys are completely falling for him.
Last night we had a big chat and i said i wanted commitment and to know we had a future.
Basically he wont commit and never wants to live with a woman.
I gave him an ultimatum.
We split up.

OP posts:
Munchkinola · 03/10/2005 20:32

Oh hun xxxx

ggglimpopo · 03/10/2005 20:34

Message withdrawn

Tinker · 03/10/2005 20:34

Oh, no ff.

SenoraBruja · 03/10/2005 20:35

oh b*llocks

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/10/2005 20:36

I did have to do it, for the sake of my kids and i.

Still feel really upset though. I miss him already.

OP posts:
lilibet · 03/10/2005 20:36

oh sweetie - was really hoping that this wasn't going to be you

twirlaround · 03/10/2005 20:36

You did the right thing for you & the kids & better now than later - roll on the next one I say

GeraldGiraffe · 03/10/2005 20:37

ff, i think you did the right thing by giving him an ultimatum as you needed to know now. Your kids are starting to become attached and it is ridiculous to think that you would never want to move on with your relationship.
plus he calls me by a rude nickname

Earlybird · 03/10/2005 20:38

What a hard situation. I'm so sorry. But, I think you've done the right thing. I spent almost 5 years trying to change someone's mind about making a commitment. He kept telling me he loved me, but didn't want to commit and I kept ignoring his words as I was sure he would change. He didn't change.

Good for you for having the courage to say what you wanted, and for giving yourself the chance of having it with someone....though, sadly, it looks as if it won't be your boyfriend. I admire you for your strength.

WideWebWitch · 03/10/2005 20:38

Oh in that case I don't blame you. If it's any consolation, dp and I went through a similar ish thing, he said the same, no committment, I wanted the whole deal and 2 months later he came round.

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/10/2005 20:43

What a mess, he was my friend before all this.

Won't be going back to that for a while.

He came round before and it took all my strength not to touch him and say, oh nevermind, something is better than nothing.

The he left and i soap opera sobbed, i need to be electricuted every time i fall in love so i stop doing it.

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyfly · 03/10/2005 20:46

Ahh, some hope to cling onto www, thanks.

Is it true that if its love everything works out and if not well then you didn't need it?

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 03/10/2005 20:49

Oh No! what a shame - last I heard he was babysitting while you went to ballet! I thought it was all going so well.

So sorry!

LadyCodofCodford · 03/10/2005 20:49

oh ff i am sorry

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/10/2005 20:50

It never came to fruition Jules, i think he said yes as he knew he couldn't really say no. But i could tell he didn't really want to commit to that even so didn't push it.

OP posts:
misdee · 03/10/2005 20:51

i'm sorry to hear this

LadyCodofCodford · 03/10/2005 21:03

oh god NO you lot she musnt split
she was pressuising him and she has only been tiwith him fro 2 seconds

LadyCodofCodford · 03/10/2005 21:03

stop naggin ghim oyu old witch ff

Original poster
fairyfly · 03/10/2005 21:03

I'll think you'll find it's been 8 seconds actually

OP posts:
TurQorTreat · 03/10/2005 21:07

So sorry ff to hear this but God you're strong - so many people would hang in regardless. If you know he's not going to suddenly commit with things as they were, then at least now there's a chance he'll do what www's dp did, and realise what he stands to lose.
I really hope you both work it out.