Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.1

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Laughed for the first time thankyou elsie for the first line of UR post.can't really explain other stuff that happened with X on Sunday but there will be worse to come than that I'm sure.I think because x hadn't shown an interest b 4 its so tough to let go ,emotionally I was ok where I was. Now I have to hear daddy this daddy that just all about his home and its tough ,the things they do etc. Like I said b4 I don't want to be bitter so I need to hand it over to my higher power and let it go .can't let my emotions,upset the dcs and their dad.

Waves to starting fingers crossed u get something sorted out tomorrow.
Thankyou for UR support everyone that posted ,just needed to type out my thoughts to try and lift this DOOM hoping tomorrow brings a better day.

Just googled a co parenting web site from usa.
Think my stress comes from X s inconsistency and lack of respect .think I might print it out and give it to him.if this is going to work we have to be able to talk to each other.just realising that his lack of interest and responsiblity is what is causing my upset.its 14 mths since first split and this is first attempt at a visit in his own accomodation.I don't trust him,so I think its only normal that I ask him to make an effort to communicate with me re kids.
He has to lose his opt out attitude apart from a Sunday or this won't work.

Hi everyone. Sorry I have been so silent - everything is so horribly busy here and just struggled to keep up. Good idea about co parenting website Patience. I get stressed at lack of respect too. Hate that cos I always try and treat everyone with respect - it's amazing how many people don't. Like my boss.
Been doing so well but exbf has been in touch texting. First he wanted a CD back, when I texted to say I would send it he texted to ask if we could speak so I just texted yes catch up soon but I didn't. Then he sent me a message on fb saying he'd had shittest Xmas ever and noticed I had't been posting on fb for weeks. Didn't reply so he texted again, asking me to thank my dad for sending the CD and was I ok. TExted back saying all good, say hi to everyone, got another one back saying the girls from the village are organising an outing and are going to invite me. I just hate having him in touch - it makes me think of him and I don't want to. Plus he's been writing songs again, this time about someone who has the most beguiling voice which "sends him in 12 directions". Thinking that might be a new woman, which made me feel crap! Sure I'll get over it. I know he ain't for me now. He disrespected me big time and the new me doesn't take that :)

Patience, I think I can understand a bit of what you are going through. I remember when xh had stopped seeing dc's & then access was resumed it was v hard to hand dc's over to third party & listen to all the stories of daddy this & daddy that (same daddy who'd fucked off for 6mts!) but I just swallowed it down for sake of dc's & v quickly it started to get easier. Unfortunately in my case access quickly fell by the wasteside again but it would have been so much better for dc's & me too as I would have gotten a break if it could have continued. Hang in there, you're doing great.

Happy, lol at 7 candles lighting . Not sure about a male on thread but will try to stay open minded to that possibility lol.

Norm just text to say he's not sure how we ended up at this point that he didn't want to get into it by text but wanted to wish me luck for tomorrow.

Goo, try to stay strong ((Hugs)) & don't forget you said you were glad you didn't have to listen to his crappy songs anymore . I know it's hard & you're prob remembering all the good stuff but if you read back you initial posts about him he doesn't sound like he was a good partner to you (& that's being v kind to him!). This too shall pass ((Hugs))

Thanks Starting - you're right and I am staying strong - much more grounded than I was even a few weeks ago. Are you ok today? Had a quick read of some of the thread. Are you and Norm...ok? And good luck in court lovely strong lady. You've been so helpful to me on here x

Ah thanks Goo. Went on a bit of a downer today but tbh both with tomorrow & Norm my attitude is what will be will be. Norm & I have always got on great & he is a pure gent but if we don't survive this then obviously it wasn't meant to be. Glad you're staying strong, it's bound to be hard when he's resumed contact.

Big hugs ggm so difficult when they won't just fuck off and go away.
Just think of it as some chancer testing the water,seeing if u will bite ,seeing if UR still hooked .
U have played a blinder so far and discovered so much about urself in the process.

Starting that sounds a nice text.don't know what u were discussing, but norm has never sounded like a meaner so maybe Getting s take on it is closer to the mark and as u both get more involved situations like this arise,its whether u can resolve them or not and how u deal with it is how u learn and grow. Such a tough week for you ,big hugs and best wishes 2morrow x

I agree with what you've said about Norm Patience . If we can't handle issues that arise well that's writing on the wall time, at least I've learnt that much from my time with xh . Tomorrow is outside of my control but hopefully I will get closure & that judge will make a fair decision.

Oh will be bringing my copy of The Compassionate Mind again for some light reading lol............

I have fallen behind in my reading recently def helps me re grounding myself.need to add to my survival guide again.my emergency journal I started last year.remember my mouse trap visualisation techniques .

Ooo, WQ has been spotted on our other thread...

A roaming dumpling.

hello laaaaaaaaadies

which thread do i belong to ..... confused !!!!

did not realise how much i missed you all until came back and saw you all

i think you well and truly belong here WQ

posted this on other thread

Welcome back WQ, so lovely to see you

@ XH cheating on new GF, especially since she's moving country for him, your right you are definately well rid!!

Last time you were on you were emailing a blast from the past, how's that going?

I've not read the threads today...but will tomorrow.

OMG, ladies! I have spent the last few days texting this really sexy guy..not spoken to him yet but will tomorrow.

Can't believe how opposite he is from my long haired, glasses, geeky ex (Which I had conditioned myself to be my 'type')

He is an ultra runner. Planning to run across the Sahara soon. Not thought about ex's shitty behaviour or the OW sleeping in my bed and drinking out of my cups while my phone was vibrating in my pocket!

He wants to meet - but I'm not rushing into anything. but my God can you imagine his body???

welllllllllllllll

we are going on holiday together

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are going in feb ... we have been communicating since nov and we know each other from way back and we thought it might be nice to get away.

so we are

WQ how lovely to see you Are you going for a weekend away or a week? Where are you going?

Oooo Kate how lovely to be having all these texts off a fit man. Bet your self esteem is going up by the minute

I haven't managed to keep on here properely but I've just had a glance further down and wanted to say goodluck Starting x

Patience, hope the feelings you had yesterday have gone and that today is more peaceful for you.

Starting, good luck for today. I'm glad Norm's been in touch. Even if it doesn't work out, at least you know he cares.

GGM, soory things are so rubbish at work. I'm seriuosly thinking of a career change myself. It's about time I got a proper job!

Kate, how lovely to have a distraction from all the crap. But don't put all your eggs in one basket .

Happy, did you have a good evening?

Tea, where are you??? I'm missing you .

Hi to Getting, Sov and everyone else and WQ - please stay now you are back.

I've had no contact with XP and feel so much better for it. Even though we have lived apart for several months we were in almost daily contact on the pretence of discussing ds. I hadn't realised how little we had acyually detached from each other until I made a conscious decision to detach myself. Thinking of emailing him about money and also I have no idea when he plans to see ds again. Basically, because I'm not driving it there is no arrangement in place. In fact, I will probably just wait and see what he does next. I've organised his life for so many years I think I need a break from it.

Starting good luck today let us know how you get on

WQ welcome back and I am glad it all sounds like life is good btw I think you should be on this thread

Elsie I need a career ( dont have one to change ) any ideas ? Yes I can vouch for no/limited contact being the way forward

Well am a bit flat off to try and pull myself up a bit, got bad news re my bf yesterday her MS is much more serious than first thought and it was heartbreaking seeing her crying and knowing what she faces

So sorry about ur friend getting,that's so tough.

Going to have a tidy the house day ,kids want to take toys to their dads house so getting rid of some mess.

Good luck starting

Just admitting that I still have strong feelings about X ,has freed me up a bit.just felt real self hate sun Mon Tues .I do need to give myself a break .I won't feel this way forever ,just wondering why I feel attracted to him again.anyway this too shall pass.

Love to everyone x

Getting I seriously would consider coaching after divorce.loads of online life coach training courses .helping people thru workshops etc.I think u would be fab at it.

Glad to hear you don't feel so overwhelmed today, Patience .

Getting, one of my childhood friends has MS. She's lived with it for 20 years and is also a single mum to a 15 year old dd. She is in a wheelchair now but copes really well. However, there are different types of MS. Hope your friend hasn't got a particularly aggressive type. Sort of puts our problems into perspective, doesn't it?