hi all
I don't get to come on here and post as often as I'd like but love reading everyone's posts.
I have been at a CODA meeting this morning and it is THE perfect recipe for enabling me to detach, stand firm, speak my mind and be aware of the 'dance' that me and H do when we are together (certainly not one with nice glittery dresses that's for sure) . So I went round to his to pick DS up after the meeting and managed to look him in the eye, tell him that I think the way we are communicating right now is not working for me (errr he ignores most of what I say in my emails unless it is self serving) and stated a few points that I was not happy with. Oooh I am starting to feel powerful and 'stand up for myself-ish' not sure why it has taken so long but it feels good. Funny thing is - as other have said it actually works too. The letting him control every conversation and giving him the power is a hard habit to break but even little steps are making me feel differently . When the serenity prayer is said at the end of the meeting the first line always resonates with me so much (God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change) and I repeat it to myself quite often in the week and it really helps when I am going crazy, thinking too much about what a twat he is and most of all getting ANGRY. 
offschool On the topic of jewellery - I took both rings off the night H walked out and yes mine too have sat in my room since. I had considered getting them valued but then my sister said I might want to hand then down to my DD one day - hmm feels like handing her a poisoned chalice a bit though. Other nice jewellery that was bought when he was being dishonest ? Actually I would wear it if I liked it - don't want to cut nose of to spite face if I loved it as that would be saying goodbye to something that I liked wearing. I would just not wear it with any meaning attached to it and would not wear it when you are going to see him.....but everyone probably has their own feelings on that one.
Getting - reading your post I'm not sure I have detached as much as you - I don't think I could sit there with a good friend who was an OW and be impartial - I think I would be quite openly disappointed with her - even though yes I know its the H's who are doing the lion's share of the unforgivable behaviour, lying etc the OW is still flying in the face of sisterhood. I mean I know if it wasn't her it would be someone else but they are still shagging a married man and encouraging the break up of a family aren't they ? Well I guess you would probably agree but are just feeling more detached and serene than me.- Judging by your last few posts you are doing amazingly well on that front
DCS - Loving the 'you're always so grumpy' comment - he is charming - 'yes darling - you're right - I should do whatever I can to make you feel better about your unforgivable behaviour - and actually I have nothing to be grumpy about - you are so right' etc etc 
Patience - hello love - good self care - I so know what you mean about the spikey aura thing - I find the same too - I have met some lovely lovely people and had conversations that I would have never had before. I think when you are happily (?) married you can give off quite closed vibes - in an 'I've got my life and it's sorted thanks - very busy byeee' kind of way and I think since H left you see the world differently and people come into your life at a time when you need it. It's amazing. Another thing to be grateful for 
Hi Sov - Have not been in touch much as am quite new to this thread but you posted a lovely message to me when i first joined so lovely to see you back
Kate: Hope this weekend is ok - even if he pulls out all the stops this weekend I am sure this level of enthusiasm for activities can't last! Well done on just getting stuck in to other stuff.
Hello to everyone else. Tea, Happy, GGM, Starting and all others. have a lovely weekend and keep strong and beautiful in the face of adversity