Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.1

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Well, was feeling OK tonight event though I'm on my own, the girls left at 6pm to spend the weekend with him...so I wouldn't usually ring them tonight, just let them be with their dad and not think about me too much.

Little one has just rang to say goodnight and starts to tell me about their plans to go to a play area with OW his gf

I can hear him shushing her, made her feel really awful and she clearly didn't know what to say!

He has been building this for weeks with them, and dd is really excited...and he must know that she's told me..so why the fucking shushing?

I just said to her "Sweetheart, I know you are going to have a lovely time tomorrow with bitchface so you enjoy yourself"

FGS. So I have just emailed him to say, please not to shush her, I have no problem with dd mentioning bitchface

I was going to type - and it's extremly arrogant of you to assume that it would upset me, you fucking big headed prick.

But I didn't and left it serene and dignified.

Well done on being serene in that situation, as he shouldn't have shushed her, he'll give her a complex when you've worked so hard to remain detached and also to create the right environment for them to not worry about sharing with you or feeling odd about anything etc. I have a lot of respect for you and hope I can do the same if Ex H moves in with the OW.

It's really wound me up though. Was feeling crap enough being on my own tonight without that. Just feel like me having to address it with him is continuing the drama of it. Which is the one thing I am striving not to do.

He has never suggested taking them anywhere in 9 bloody years, and he was questioning me about what clothes they had for the weekend - he's never done that before either...all because they are going to play happy families all weekend. They've only been 'official' since the week before Xmas.

I wish I didn't have to deal with him at all.

Thank God I have an email folder called 'Tosser' and any emails from him go in there so I don't have to see hi name in my inbox!

makes me feel a bit better :)

Tosser folder Great way to compartmentalise.

I reckon the happy families thing won't last though. It would make me hopping made if ex H did it, as he couldn't be arsed when we were together either. Then to suddenly behave so differently would irritate me to say the least and a whole host of other emotions too. This is a hard road we all walk isn't it?

Evening all,

Finally read the thread. Good god, what are these ex-husbands like...and as for the OW, utterly bonkers. I feel very qualified to join in

Happy, I'm also struggling with the financial settlement as XH is currently rejecting mine, saying it's too low. He is really forgetting that he pays me nada, nothing, not a dime and so it can't really get any higher.

You'll have to help me with your acronyms...BE??...and is the Saint so named due to his Saintly behaviour (obv sarcastically loaded???).

Well Kate, I think you are very composed considering that this is so recent - an award will come to you.

I find all of this OW stuff very annoying. I have zero interest in OW but wouldn't be happy having her thrust in my face IYSWIM

Hi Sunhill Xpost

BE is Bald Eagle - so called because he is, well, bald

Recently he has been renamed the saint at times as he behaves as if he has a halo on his head wtf

OW is called Bumpkin because she lives a wayt away in Bumpkinland and where are you ish Sunhill?

Yeah finances, a nightmare, as he has never paid anything I feel it's messy - and yet o course the saint feels that he deserves loadsa dosh wtf. Well at least he is now sponging off OW not me.

Kate, my stomach still lurches when DC mention the GF's name. Every time they say it, it's like a stab. I can't help it...and it'll take me much time to get over it.

And as for your email folder, I have XH's name in my phone as "Head of Knob". It works for me.

Right I will now change BE's phone entry to something ahem more appropriate

Happy, we must be in parallel universes. My XH ( I shall continue to call him Head of Knob as it is fitting...) has a mammoth sense of self entitlement, all of which is utterly misguided.

I am in leafy Cheshire...are there any other Dumplings up this way?

Yes entitlement ..... Kate isn't so far away (geography never my strong point)

I'm in Tameside - Gtr Manchester!

feeling a bit better now, it wasn't the phone call from little one...it was having to email him, I cried for the first time in weeks..well, the tears came to my eyes.

But, the main thing is...he was expecting a reaction, she was probably expecting a reaction from me...so they can carry on the drama. Not going to engage.

TBH, they are going to a massive play area that is going to be full of kids running round and full of noise and parties...and as a mum, even though I know the girls love them...I find it really boring, can't relax cos I'm always looking to see where they are.

As a woman with no kids - I think it's going to be a shock for her...and an insight into life with young dc.

He's such a dick - he can't even do that right!!!

Kate you're just up the road from me...I'm in Romiley, Stockport.

Good job with the not engaging. This was definitely an occasion that things were better left unsaid.

XH also takes DC to a play area which is fine...but he hardly ever sees them, so I am always baffled why he takes them to a place where he never sees them!

Sunhill I know Romiley - I'm from Gee Cross orginally :)

I left in October, and this is the first time he's took them anywhere - so no wonder the girls are excited.

I did say to him ages ago that I hope that time he spent with the girls would be for them - not that they would tag along while he sees OW his gf.

But he had said that she comes before his girls and he wants life to be like before he had kids...so I can't see him spending quality time with them. He has them all weekend but I'm sure they will be at his mums on Sunday.

Blimey Kate. I don't know what to say apart from I'm sure that statement from him will haunt him...what an odd thing to say.

The more bonkers the people are around me, the more I start to question my own sanity...as in, perhaps everyone else is normal and it's me who's really lost it. But no. They (including your Ex) are truly bonkers.

I've only been in Romiley for a year...moved here from Melbourne last Christmas.

Don't think stuff like that will haunt him, he simply does not care about anything apart from the person he's with - he was obsessed wiht me...we had a good relationship, till OW started to give him attention. Then he simply switched.

Everything that is happening on Solost's thread is the same for me...in terms of the mens actions.

Wow, Romiley is a bit of change from Melbourne!

Good evening ladies,

I am happy to report broadband services are now resumed, even though it did take till 9.20pm tonight

Well i now think that i am truly deserving of being on this thread, as i feel detatchment is complete :o

So much has gone on since X's episode in december and ruining my birthday and stalking me via phone for 5 days that it feels like everything i felt for him has dispersed, some of the things he has come out with just make me and christmas day was so easy for me as he was his usual miserable self and i just kept thinking yay this is the last time i have to do this with him

His contact of late with DC has been minimal, 2 days a week at best and tbh that suits me fine although he is not giving me much notice (an hour on wednesday) or none at all (just turned up sunday) so i am not able to plan to go out and end up having to sit with him and DC (possibly his plan ) but i am polite and make small talk but dont really listen to what he says it's all shite to me cause i really dont care what he has to say, sunday when he turned up unexpectedly i told him he needs to give me notice and that seeing as he was here did he want dinner, he did, lovely roast and practically licked his plate clean, felt quite proud of that tbh

It's DD's 1st birthday sunday and i've told him he can come round on the morning as i'm having a party at DM's for her and DS1 (his b,day monday) on the afternoon (he's not invited, it wouldnt sit well with my family)and to make sure he has a card and pressie for them both (will be interested to see if him or any of his family bother) as he was leaving he stood there all confused saying"what am i doing sunday?, why do i have to come early?" i repiled by saying "cause your not the only one with a life you know" he found it funny and when i asked what he was laughing at he just said that was good, really on the ball, twat, like i give a shit

I just cant seem to feel anything at all for him, he looks a state and him being at his sisters is getting to him and he is turning to crime(apparently) to get by and all i can think is and? are you leaving yet?

So i definately think i should be here although i will still post on the other thread too, want to help other that are in the position i was in :o

good to see you back Sov, liking your attitude

Great stuff Sov I'm so glad to hear it. You are doing brill - so strong :)

Ok heavy antibiotics and contagion goin on here.but my legs are smooth and my eyebrows have been shaped so all in all a good day.
Ps hadn't been in that salon since the split so brought the beauty therapist up to speed with everything ,she made the mistake of asking how I was doing ,not seen u for ages ....
LOL thing is I didn't feel a thing when I got my legs waxed ,too busy talking.

ps X is in my phone under one initial ,it is nice to just delete every now and again.

Waves to sov UR doin so well,can I come over for a roast dinner too ?

Patience After being a closed book all my life...it's so funny what I'm like now when someone asks how I am....

was talking to the taxi driver last week...conversation got on to why I don't drive and why I don't have a hubby to drive me round! Told the taxi driver that I had split with my dp...and he said "Oh love, you need to find yourself a good man, like a doctor or pharmacist...or a taxi driver!"

I am finding being open to people elicits really good responses and it has helped me heal and feel I am moving on

Me too Kate folk love to talk and I have conversations with people now I would never have had as a wife.I think before my aura was a bit spilt due to living with a bastard whereas now I am more fuzzy like a teddy .I must seem more approachable as more people venture my way.I also think folk recognise our men ate bastards and respect our strength.
Update on slow burner man was he made me a peppermint tea ,I don't think he has the slightest idea I fancy him so bit stuck tbh.still can't find a way of finding out if he is single,but using this experience as a field study .
Thinking Feb 4 th weekend for a meet up x

Aura was a bit spiky.....