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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.1

1000 replies

Teaandcakeplease · 04/01/2011 14:29

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong Smile

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

OP posts:
DCSsunhill · 13/01/2011 21:45

Tea, you should have seen the smirk on his uber-confident face when he said about the adultery. I actually asked him if new GF thinks he is a catch, and he replied "She can't believe she's with me....all her mates fancy me as well!".

I was married to this man for 10 years! I just don't know him anymore.

I havent' been surviving, I don't think, just existing. H has seen the boys just ten times since last April so it's been so busy. They are seeing him tomorrow and they are so excited...which makes me feel rather sad, as that makes me dull, every-day, homework lady. Tres unexciting.

The only joy I have is that I'm entitled to legal aid...and he isn't.

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 13/01/2011 21:50

Well you can wipe that smirk off his face when you petition with him comitting adultery Grin Or by just not starting the divorce for ages and sitting on it too Grin

I need some of the more clever girls to come back to the thread really...

OP posts:
cloudedview · 13/01/2011 21:51

sunhill what a lot for you to have dealt with. He doesn't do things by halves does he ? Angry without knowing anything at all I think it's quite strange that a mother could even consider leaving her DD to move in with a new man unless there are other circumstances attached - how old is her DC ? Just because he has found someone new to be with he won't suddenly change for her - and start making cups of tea etc (well he might make the odd one until the shine wears off) . I predict that ring coming off quite soon one way or another. Not that you will even care by that point as you will have risen way way above them and their nonsense. How are you feeling now ?

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 21:59

Evening all

Patience, if you have wifi the phone should be fine for youtube - if not avoid it. FWIW nowadays I buy music from Amazon which I download directly to my phone on wifi and play it through £15 speakers. I would never have worked out how to do that when BE was here so hats off to me I think. Pathetic I know but if I can buy a track for 89p it gives me a lot of pleasure. But then I am DJHappy or used to be Hmm.

Tooooo many people to reply to tonight. Am also amazed by so many dealing so well with OW. I have this to face now I think now that DS is there but also a bit Hmm because from vague things intimated I am getting the feeling that she is acting as saintess and that I am positioned as the mad one. Hang on a minute, who pulled a bald married bloke on the internet when they were also married themselves? - not me dearie.

Welcome Sunhill - I too have a H that requires "payment" wtf do they think they are.

Struggling today with cordial XH relations again - very up and down - first he was bullying and got me so angry then in the end I fell for the poor me and gave him freaking food again. Find it very hard picking my way through it in front of DC's when he is doing his poor me bit. Unless I "save" him, I seem to get lynched by the kids as he comes across oh so saintly to them. (Obviously they can't see the 999 on his head which should be obvious as he has no hair)

DCSsunhill · 13/01/2011 22:00

Thanks clouded. Her DD is 7. From what I can gather, GF is a friend of XH's Aunt. They met in the week after he moved out and have been inseperable since. As she is a friend of the family, he has had the support of all of his family...so from Day One, they were sleeping together in his aunts house, unbeknownst to me.

His family have never liked me.

Obv she is his soul-mate . I think we had a reading about that at our wedding, funnily enough.

My DC told me that H and GF are just going to stay engaged and she is calling herself "Mrs Sunhill". OBVIOUSLY I couldn't yell at the DC saying "That's because we're still frigging married!".

XH did nothing. Ever. I ran the show. It hurts to see how he's suddenly acquired the ability to actually pick up the phone and pay a bill.

DCSsunhill · 13/01/2011 22:01

Ladies, I do appreciate your welcome. Thanks for letting me in.

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 13/01/2011 22:02

You'll always be DJHappy!

I use the wifi here to connect by my mobile too.

999 on his forehead Grin Must be so hard this week Happy.

OP posts:
IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 22:03

Sounds like a nightmare Sunhill

Waves to LC ... glad you came to see us.

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 13/01/2011 22:11

Almost sounds like your H's family are co conspirators in his affair and separation from you Sunhill. makes the situation for you even harder. Stick about here and share x

When does the Saint go back to country bumpkin again Happy? This must be so difficult. I haven't caught up on the thread properely and you may have answered below Blush

OP posts:
littlecritter · 13/01/2011 22:13

Well, I hope I'm not posting prematurely here. I really do feel that I've turned a small but significant corner this week.

Hello Sunhill. Shocked at your story. My xp picked a married woman with an adopted dd (age 6) and she too offered to leave her little girl to be with xp. Poor little girl has sn as well as a morally bankrupt mother. The thing that annoys me most is that anyone might think I have anything in common with her.

Today, I have found myself thinking how lucky, lucky, lucky I am to have ds. Why on earth isn't xp fighting to have him? But thank goodness he isn't Smile.

Hi there, lovely Tea.

littlecritter · 13/01/2011 22:16

Happy, I'm not just visiting. I'm here to stay (I hope) Smile. I know there will be wobbly days but today I feel like a cloud is lifting.

pinksmarties · 13/01/2011 22:20

Hi all,

I'm vaguley lurking but can't keep up.

Just PMSL though at Sunhill rogering a newt.

I dare you to write on your divorce form "I rogered a newt" Grin

Your situation sounds f*cking awfull and I'd be furious about my DC being told about such things. "Fighting to get her back" ?? FFS

Love to you all, no energy to post ATM,

I've had some wierd thing last couple of weeks, like a very mild sort of ME. Don't know what it was.

Getting....Your OW is really pushing bounderies IMO and I think someone should have a word in her shell like before she really starts to cross the line.

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 22:20

Oh how lovely LC, here to stay yippee!!

Hi Tea, BE will be back to Bumpkinland tomorrow after DC "meeting" in the morning. Was hoping all of that stuff would be over tomorrow but getting the feeling now that it won't be. Funny, lovely when he's away but when he returns I can hear that aggression coming up the motorway - urrgh

pinksmarties · 13/01/2011 22:21

Look ...Happy, you were one second after me !

Lots of luck for tomorow. x

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 22:26

Ah thanks Pink Grin

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 13/01/2011 22:26

Over an hour ago I said I was off and I'm still on here Blush

I will head off now and check in tomorrow and try and catch up more as I think I've missed some important things down thread.

Lovely to see you Pink, go and see your GP if you're still feeling really tired. Might be iron deficiency or something. Best to get checked out.

OP posts:
pinksmarties · 13/01/2011 22:29

999 Happy ? You mean 666 ?

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 22:31

Oh yeah, well I was close anyway.

It's been a long week.

KateonMN · 13/01/2011 22:31

Hello lc I'm on both threads and Solost's - can't remember what I've posted where!

But, I have to say, I have been a closed book all my life, but since this all happened - I feel so much better opening up. it really helps.

Welcome sunhill You'll find help and support here.

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 22:32

Hmm, still can't seem to get on other thread cos I his it accidentally and can't work out how to undo

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 22:32

** hid

pinksmarties · 13/01/2011 22:35

She's calling herself "Mrs Sunhill" ????

F*cking cheek......some of these OW are bloody nutters aren't they.

I'm gonna stop now, I'm getting all hot and cross. Effing idiot twunts and smug b*tch girlfriends who need sectioning.

Night all.

Thanks Tea, I was going to but I'm better now. Was probably an overdose of Lindor at xmas. x

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 13/01/2011 22:35

The ditched thread happy? Just go in through this link It should work.

OP posts:
IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 22:42

ah thanks Tea, seems to work Grin

Patienceobtainsallthings · 13/01/2011 22:59

Waves to Lc x

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