Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.1

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Ah nice one SOV x
Mine is approx 6 weeks away yet,big delay in reactivating my phoneline .missing u tube like mad ,used to have tunes on all the time. But just thinking 6 weeks will nearly be spring especially for u lot down south .away to wash my hair feeling odd today so hoping this will help,just feel like curling up kinda foetal.

Quick post

Appear to have job currently

Patience, I listen to music on my phone can you do the same? And if (?) you have wifi you can utube through it. And for £15 (I can advise) you can link decent speakers to it. (deserve an award for that don't I)

Thought I would quickly post here to say hi rather than late at night; shoe polish, I ask you. After H moved out I made him take all the stuff of his which has languished in the attic for the 7 years we have lived in the house - fantastic. Included a dry suit and a parachute. But cannot really add them to the list as I was glad to see them go; i always had visions of them crashing through the loft one day so it was quite a weight off the mind. Bet OW was pleased to have them ... when it all first happened I found it so odd not to know where he was or what he was doing; he moved in just two weeks or so after her H had been pushed out and I kept imagining my H's stuff in his H's cupboards, so peculiar and upsetting. But time does move on and I do not think about it nearly so much. Except, and I think this is the same for lots of us on this thread, when I am tired and angry at having to do everything on my own, and think, what the hell? why am I doing this? I am on the computer as DD2 is having a meeting with the child psychologist at the moment. H is planning to take the two girls on holiday with OW and her son at easter (all young teens) and neither of mine want to go but cannot find how to tell their Dad this as he uses emotional blackmail to persuade them. Extremely clever and slippery chap; they do love him but both profess to be entirely uninterested in a relationship with OW. He forced a meeting in October (he left in July) which they went to and now feel they have done it and that is that for a while. So watch this space ... this holiday is becoming a bit of a major hurdle for various reasons. More later after meeting is over.

Just lost my long post grrrr back later

goo - Oh, I forgot about the screwdriver as well! LOL

I must be eligible for some kind of booby prize!

grrretting easier that happened last night to me too was it the back in 30 seconds thing?

Yes it was !!!

Happy thats good news

Mumfun hmm sounds to me like its over Lol @ 5 year old phone glad I am not the only dinosaur but my next phone will be flash

Expecting a long update on what you have up to Sov Hope you have been in the good place you were in your last post !

Offschool a fellow older dc dumpling...think my dd has issues with being with ow for holidays etc

My laptop is possessed grrr

Patience ok now ?

City sorry but was he always a tight wad ? Always remember him refusing the clothes carrier on moving day , amazing really.

Well I am ok nothing to report. Did have a tiny wibble when dd came home after school today with a box of jewellry that ow has given her as she doesnt want it anymore. A lot of stuff. Wanted for a few seconds to say give it back you arent wearing her fucking cast off jewellry and wtf is she doing giving it to you. Resisted. Will endeavour to not notice when she wears it.Sigh.

The girls are with him this weekend, they've just been telling me how they are going to OW's house "If she's not too busy" then they are all going to a play area.

The girls are so excited - I'm being serene and saying "oh, that sounds lovely"

Let him do the family thing - I can't see that lasting very long either. They'll soon get fed up of playing happy families.

Can't quite believe it came out the week before Xmas and now he's introducing her to the girls!

Oh, well - he can to try to yank my chain as much as he likes...not going to react!

Something I thought about today was how I used to struggle between 6pm and kids bedtime re stress and how I don't feel that anymore .kids 4 and 5 yo so another year older but I think its more than that ,I think its to do with losing alot of the pain and finding a path for our own survival.

Take my hat of to both u ladies I would have flipped it both times ,I guess that is the lesson I would hope to learn out of all of this ,tolerance of other peoples actions.

Yeah Kate one minute ur living together next minute they have moved on and wtf is wrong with us that we can't be happy for them.

It is the whole shout it from the rooftops thing, isn't it: let the whole world be happy for me!!!!!! Oh get real. Gettingeasier how old are your dcs? Mine are 14 and 12. Both girls. The 14year old simply refuses to discuss the OW situation, the 12 year old is warming up to a statement of intent with her dad, now she has seen the psychologist. Yikes. I have booked the dd and the psych to see H (ok he is exH but still can't quite say it ..) for next Friday when he is here again. What does your dd actually do/say re holidays, getting e?

Take my hat off to you too ladies. Kate cant believe the short time between OW being known and intro to kids.

And Getting -I think it is thoughtless (polite word) to pass the jewellery on - givees me the creeps TBH.

And you may be right re being over -next 2 months will tell. Have to say my US site is an influence - there is more tolerance for giving time for the WS to get out of the fog and sort themselves out. But I am reasonably happy and will be fine whatever.

Old school - hard for the DCs really what to do.

Very tired and got rare bout of ironing to do -and a very gorgeous 4 year old to cuddle up to tonight. SO night night - got to get stuff done!

Thanks happy bit hit and miss if it plays it on phone ,takes ages to download then stops playing ,but u sound like u really know what ur talking about btw x

Hello there...I have been lurking on your threads for a while. Hope you don't mind me posting.

H left us in April last year, we both felt that we needed a breather and booked a load of relate sessions. However, a week later (unbeknownst to me!) he met and moved in with a new partner. When he had the children for the following weekend, they stayed (unbeknownst to me!) at his and his new GF's flat.

It's been a very hard year. I am about to file for divorce this week, although my solicitor has been useless. XH has not paid a bean to us and is refusing to sign any papers "unless I admit to adultery". (Do you know, I am tempted to admit to rogering a newt, if it means I get to divorce him). No money arrangement...he is waiting for me to pay him money to buy him out of our house. I work part-time.

Oh and...XH got engaged this Christmas. Happy New Year!

Have 2 DSs, both of whom are madly in love with Daddy and who think the sun shines out of his tight-fisted, selfish, inconsiderate, boney ass.

I've posted on the other dumling thread, I'm behind on this one too apart from a brief post the other day, but I'll catch up tomorrow on this one as I'm shattered and need to just sit down for a while before bed. But hello, so glad I have you girls

Had horrid PMT for 2 days and then a slight disaster whilst out in the car this morning that made me see red but tomorrow is a new day...

evening - just had a sneaky read through whilst trying to pretend to myself that am completing schools application form.

Getting and Kate - v impressive acts of serenity indeed. kate with your H in particular it has all happened at a rate of knots -and the way you are dealing with it is incredible.I dread H introducing OW to the DCs (err well actually I don't think my 6 month old DS will care too much!) ohh what a horrible thought - if they stay together will he always see her as like a 2nd mum as he will never have known me and H being together- Yuck.(dd's fave word for everything at the mo - is now mine too) Anyway I have done the 'Don't you dare introduce that *&&%$ @£%%$$£ to MY children' thing but actually I guess it's only a matter of time. How on earth do you cope? Voodoo dolls ? or just sit there patiently waiting for those true colours to start shining through ?!

Thankyou all for your comments yesterday when I made the mistake of thinking H (I so need a name for him - he's not worthy of H and a snappy new name for him would make me detach more I think)might give a shit about the bigger picture (schools) rather than just anything that is directly connected to his own immediate enjoyment or well being. Am back on track in my way of thinking now. This detachment thing is bloody great when it works innit ?

Tea: The blatant ignoring of things H doesn't like the sound of in emails is almost at the point where I feel stupid/uncomfortable bringing then things up time and time again - err maybe this is his tactic - and am in danger of letting it work - oh.

Getting how is new serene you doing ? Good it sounds def made mistake of thinking of H as the person I married the other day so got let down but firmly (?) back in land of detachment... for now.

hello to all the other wonderful brilliant ladies on here - right WILL get this form done and will reward oneself with glass of wine and Corrie on catch up when done - and maybe this thread ........

Sunhill he wants you to admit to adultery? I'm speechless! How awful, the whole situation and the DCs staying with him and his new girlfriend and you having no idea when he first moved out. How disgusting of him to do that. Welcome welcome x

"Anyway I have done the 'Don't you dare introduce that *&&%$ @£%%$$£ to MY children' thing but actually I guess it's only a matter of time. How on earth do you cope? Voodoo dolls ?"

Clouded my ex H and OW do not live together yet but I have this unspeakable rage at the thought of her looking after my little ones, as they're so small and she took their father away from them (well he probably would've cheated anyway) and she knew me for years and had held my DCs and came to their christening whilst shagging their dad etc. I still have cold rage for her. But by June I better have found some serenity there as they may move in together - if they get over this tricky patch.

Teaand cake, I struggle to cope with the whole thing tbh. New GF is ten years younger than me and has a DD that doesn't live with her as she actually left her behind to move in with H. My DC know tell me, very seriously, that GF is "fighting to get her back". Talk about involving DC in bloody inappropriate issues.

Saw GF when picking the children up, as H deigned to have them for two hours. She has a huge rock on her engagement finger. And this from a bloke that never even made me a cup of tea.

H is obv loving his new child-free, shagtastic lifestyle.

Sorry, Tea, just saw that you were quoting clouded.

Hi.
When do you think I'll qualify to post on here ?
I'm looking forward to coming over from the dark side...

Well they can't marry until you divorce and he'll be waiting a long time if he thinks you'll admit to the adultery when he did it? I hope! Oooo I'm still angry for you.

How have you survived this long, who do you talk to in real life about this? It must have been so hard.

Oh LC you have to join in with Sunhill, come here gorgeous!