Chin Up and Tits Out for the Recently Ditched No. 11

[Teaandchristmascakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

[shocked]

LMAO@ tea. Yup the AD are starting to work for me too

Yes, i do have my own thread- "Please help- is it over or is there hope???" I am starting to think that as he didnt contact me at christmas it is over and probs no hopes, but hey ho..

Crazee's thread

We dumplings are and like to know our fellow dumplings stories so we can support them better. I'll try and read it in a bit, better get my potato out of the oven before it goes from crispy to crunchy

crazee I am pleased you are sounding really good. Retail therapy does help, not to buy stuff to show off like my XP has done but to get stuff that will be a boost and will let you do things YOU want to do. It's just when the money runs out that is a bummer! Glad you are looking hot with the weight loss, I can't say the same as malnourished is not a good look for anyone :( but going to treat myself to a slow cooker in the sales so might be concocting some tasty things to get my appetite back. Here's hoping!

As it's our anniversary on NYE - and I live just a few doors down from our family home where he's been shagging the OW...I felt I had no choice than to get away from here.

Luckily, when I changed my status on FB to 'single' a couple of my oldest friends from school got in touch :)

I was blatent and asked to spend it with my friend in the Midlands...it also came at the time when I found he's had OW in my house...and I felt I needed to take control of the situation so told him he would have the girls alternate weekends starting with NYE. Not that I think he'll have the girls...they will be packed off to GPs I expect (something he never arranged while we were together!)

It means I can't fume while thinking of them cuddling on my sofa on NYE 2 mins up the road!

If I can make it through NYE - I'm hoping it's onwards and upwards. My friend doesn't know him and can't believe the things he's said and done...she is dead straight and says 'He doesn't sound that great Kate...why are you wasting your tears and emotions on him?"

I don't think anyone on the outside can really understand though Kate. Even my XP who is meant to know me more than anyone appeared to be confused by my heartbreak and didn't seem to understand why I couldn't just shrug us off like he could (with the help of skanky girl). We just can't help waste those tears and emotions when our hearts are shattered into a million pieces and our hopes and dreams for the future are wiped away....

Ooooh, got all maudlin there, sorry ladies. I AM strong, I really AM!!

Am starting to feel better, i think the ADs have kicked in, plus its smug to know that DH and older DD are still arguing- and he said that me and younger dd were the ones that caused them problems- we are both sitting snuggly and looking after each other. No problems here

Hey slow cookers are the future. Its one of the only things I managed to take from the house. It so nice coming in from work to a hot meal- hmm (not that I have an appetite at the mo- if only you could bottle the 2split diet"- people would pay a fortune

Hey Tea - the Buble song is great - it's about us dumplings you're right!!!
Just before Christmas I went to my lovely next door neighbours, who are in their seventies, and asked if they could feed my cat when I was at my mum's. I told them about exbf and feeling like I would never meet anyone who could step up to the task of accepting me and the kids as a package. Ethel (not real name but close!) said "But the boys are LOVELY, who wouldn't want them. Fool that he is. And just remember pet, it's like Michael Buble says, you will find somebody lovely, you just haven't met him yet!"

Hi Kate, these men are spineless and need to strap a pair on. Mine told me that he wanted me to tell him I was happy- Erm I wonder why I cant do that ....

Still - our hopes and dreams for the future we THOUGHT we were going to have may be shattered but that doesn't mean that we're not going to find an even better future just round the corner - keep hoping and dreaming and more importantly doing positive things to make that future a reality! :)

This thread is about ranting, weeping, laughing and crying too StillHurtin You weren't that maudlin you should see some of the ranting we've all done on here see No. 8 or No. 9 for a bad patch before I went on ADs from me.

I'm now in a size 14 pair of jeans as of 2 days ago, I had to buy them as my size 16's were hanging down round my backside, not a good look I got rid of all size 14 clothing in Sept 2008 as I never thought I'd be that size again. I wouldn't recommend the divorce diet but it sure shifts weight

Keep taking one step at a time Crazee and eat what you can manage.

No- I don't think she does understand...but I do think she is right.

I hate what he's done to me and the girls over a woman he's know since April...but I have to remember that's who he is now...even yesterday I wanted him back, but I want who he used to be back - not the horrible man he is now :(

I don't think tears are wasted - they are a natural reaction to grief, they remove toxins and stress from our bodies and help us heal.

Not keen on the million 'pages' on FB but I saw this one today and thought it was quite apt!

Dear Tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for all the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for all the damage. Dear Brain, you were right

We'll get there - and we will emerge stronger for it. We have to believe that.

LOL at Ethel quoting Michael Buble Googoo

I like his music, it's happy feel good music. That's the sort of stuff I like, things that lift your soul. Been on repeat all day

Good quote Kate. I spend a lot of time on fb but am a bit about all those sort of things normally, but that's a good one.

I must admit, I still peak at him on FB( is that wrong? I cant help myself!!), he knows I do as he changed his status to single, then in a relationship and back to single- Hes a good game player ..

It's hard admitting you're wrong isn't it though? I really though XH was my great love, life partner, soulmate, blah, blah... He wasn't, I look back and realise a lot of it wasn't 'right'. I compromised, thought everyone had to, thought I was demanding or had my own ishoos.
Reality is I am nothing to him now, mother of his child, part of his history maybe but RIGHT NOW not a second thought.
Your friend is right kate - #he doesn't sound that great' just about covers all the guys we've been discussing - mine included (def near top of that list - twunt!)

I am such a slow typer!! That should have been on ages ago and now looks irrelevant - ignore my rubbish typing hands

goat we could be talking about the same bloke. We had usual money problems...it was agreed that I would work PT while the girls were small and we would be better off when they got a bit older and returned to FT work...but now apparently, that is one of the reasons he wanted out of our relationship, also...I wasn't available for sex whenever he wanted (like when the girls were watching tv in the next room!)But we did have a great sex life.

It's all crap - we were like any other couple with young children - and of course I put the dc first! He's a grown man - what did he expect??? He did not discuss any problems he had with our relationship - he took away the chance for US to work on it together - he said he had to be selfish and think of himself.

He was still saying in November he was not interested in anyone else - but the truth came out eventually. He is thinking with his c*ck at the moment...and that means breaking up our family, selling the family home and shacking up and I quote "living the way WE did before we had kids" That means with OW - who is his age but with no dc.

I thought he was my soulmate - but he is a selfish fuckwit who was letting me cook, clean, look after our children and have sex with him...while all the while he was thinking about OW

Good Lord Crazee your story on your thread is horrid. He's just cut you out of his life with no explanation at all, no discussions at all and to make it worse he has your older DD living with him and is feeding her all sorts of lies whilst you have your younger DD in this other property. How horrid, please feel free to share on here anything you need to

I can't blame you for looking at his fb crazee you have no closure, no explanation, no signs of another woman, just his strange MLC behaviour.

I so feel for you kate - like all the dumplings but soem stories just strike that - me too chord! Your H - like mine- sounds like a hurtful, selfish, bastard. H 'joked' to me about luxury bachelor lifestyle the other day - I sadi that's what you always wanted so why did you get married (AGAIN) and have a child (AGAIN) - response 'I wanted it at the time' and there was me thinking it was a lifetime commitment!

Bed calls so nite nite ladies - gonna try to get some sleep but not holding hopes up with poorly DD - bless her x

Ok just caught up on thread & loving all the chat. Lovely to see Rom & Crazee back posting

Kate, great quote

Tea, well done on dropping a size . Heathache is good for something

Bring, I equally compromised too much & tbh it was never right but equally I thought that was kind of the norm

Patience, as you know I had similar issues with xh so I can really empathise with worry about handing over dc's to a 'stranger' as such. I just worked through it a day at a time doing the best I could. During the more bleak times I just trusted that there was a God up there that would take care of dc's & guide us out of the mess we were in. That might sound off the wall for people who don't have any spiritual faith but it worked for me . You will come through this & trust that whatever happens you will do the right thing for you & your dc's because you are now thinking clearly & free from the emotional entanglement.

Kate my H fed me the same lines and there was another woman behind the scenes If he'd talked to me about these apparent issues before running off with her behind my back we could've working through things. But they re-write history to be honest and create issues that weren't really there, as it makes it easier to justify commencing the affair and leaving us.

My Ex H is now starting to admit a lot of his claims were wrong and our marriage broke down because of him and not me. The counseling is the only thing and of course mumsnet that has helped me.

Do you still post pictures and blog? Be nice to see and read that a few weeks on, need to hunt out the web link again on the old thread if you are still doing it.

Oh crikey has Crazee posted on here before and I missed it Oops