HUSBAND LEFT AFTER AN AFFAIR II - AM MOVING ON WITHOUT HIM

[solost]

My husband left me in mid-August when I found out he was having an affair. My original thread (husband had an affair and I want him back) detailed the fact that I felt he had made a mistake and asked for advice on how to get him to see sense and come back to me and our 3 DCs. Four months on, he still hasn't returned and I am re-buildling my life without him. That thread is now full. This is the continuation. Thanks to all of you for your support.

Carefully on the judgement; solost might want to come back here.

Sooooooooloooost hope you're ok too xx

There's nothing wrong with it if she did take him back. But more likely things are just busy/computer crashed/can't find website/thread again... something like that.

Perhaps a RL friend advised not listening to people on the internet (I just know because this put me off posting a while ago when I wasn't sure if I had PND).

Maybe she's flipped, got him tied up in the shed until he thinks about what he's done.

Solo, hope you are OK, we miss you and are all thinking about you.

Tied up? Too kinky! Don't do that, solost, he might enjoy it.

Hope all's well with you and yours, Solo

Hiya everyone,

Sorry havent been in touch for a while. Major broadband issues mean I have no internet access at the moment. Am currently posting from the Library.

Will give you a quick update but not much to report. H still with BB. Im still detaching so not sure where they are at. Solicitors appt on Monday and O2 event with DD1 on Tuesday/Wednesday - H still coming (but not relying on that!).

Hope you are all well. Am going to read all your messages and get back to you when I can. (MIL has computer at hers so maybe Sunday) - although not sure whether I should post on her computer.

Solost X

Hi all,

Back again, just skimmed through your posts. (not very private here in the library!), and would like to THANK YOU all for your concern.

The DC's and I are fine (I have really missed posting on an evening though - you lot really help me get through!). I have had some up and down days but I think on the whole I'm doing OK.

When I have more time I will read the longer posts in detail - I really appreciate you all taking the time and apologise if you think I abandoned you all - I didnt.

Will post again as soon as I can.

Thanks again for your support (hopefully the broadband is being restored on the 8th Feb).

Solost X

Glad to hear from you, solost x

Good luck with the O2 concert. I hope it goes well for your DD :) x

sighs relief??
How about:

or

Glad to have you back Solo!

Really good to hear from you and glad you and the dc's are doing ok x

Ahhh, is it nice to realise you're wanted?

Hooray! Hello solost, it's nice to see you! Have been checking for ages and wondering how you've been getting on. Glad absence was due to annoying, but innocuous, rubbish internet! (rather than annoying, but innocuous, rubbish MNers! )

She's baaaaccckkkkk!

Great news, sorry to hear about the broadband. It is the end of the world practically when you're used to it.

DD's concert coming up, so exciting. She must be both thrilled and apprehensive, what a fantastic day for her!

Hooray!!!

Will be thinking of you next week. X

Good to see all ok Solo, we do worry about you.

Enjoy the concert if you can't get back on.

Remember - YOU'RE in control, not him.

Stay strong x

"YOU'RE in control"

Yes, you had us all gripped worried when you weren't engaging with us! Do you see now how powerful that is?

I hope you're well, Solost :) x

Hi Solo, glad to hear you are well- have been checking for updates to check that you are OK!

All the best for the concert, and that you both enjoy it.

Oo Solost - just caught up with this thread again - hope your broadband is fixed soon.

Now - how did you get on with the solicitor; and how did DD do at her O2 concert? I hope it went well and there were no upsets of any kind.

Hi everyone, IM BACK!!!!!!!!

STAREXPAT, THUMBDABWITCH, INTERTIA, PLUPERVERT, LIVEMOVESON, DONTDISS, TRIBPOT, NOWAYNOHOW, LITTLEMISSHISSY and all you other fab ladies - especially ANYFUCKER . Thanks so much for your concern - I've missed you all

I have just spent the last half hour reading all your posts - thank you.

Had you all going there for a while didnt I?! But no - H is not back things are still the same apart from a few subtle changes.

Firstly let me update you on the solicitors appointment. I saw her on Monday, she was really nice. We went through all my options and basically said that at the moment H is doing more than necessary regarding paying the bills/mortgage etc, and that he could legally get away with paying a lot less. She talked through my options for divorce etc and we left it at that. At least now I know where I stand with the legal side.

Then there was DD's O2 concert on Tuesday night which was amazing (I cried through the first four songs!). There was a bit of a wobble before - not H but DD who decided that maybe she wouldnt like staying in a hotel away from us all but she was OK in the end! H picked me up in the car and we travelled to our (single) rooms! It felt really weird. We got changed and went to the concert. BB rang/texted him a few times and I told him to go and call her back - was proud of my detachment and really it didnt bother me at all - in fact I was glad that I didn't have to account MY movements to anyone, that I could do as I pleased, quite liberating really!

I think the trip helped me in some way. I was sad that things were not the same anymore but proud that I got through it OK.

One of the things that has changed since I last posted are that H has seemed to realised that the DC's come first. He has been on time, not tried to get away early etc. Whatever I have asked of him with regard to them he has done without question. He even offered to stay until 11.00pm last night so that he could pick up DD from school (the coach got back late) so that I didnt have to drag the other DCs out in the wind and rain to pick her up - and when they came back, I could tell he had been crying (I never mentioned it to him). I did say to him he could go and that I would pick her up but he said it wasn't a problem. Its hard to put my finger on what has changed but something has. I think maybe it could be something to do with my attitude. In the beginning, I was so desperate for him to see the DC's and scared he would stop wanting to that I would put up with anything - him turning up late, leaving early, but now I don't, I am not that desperate person any more, I feel more in control. When we arrange when he is coming over to see them he always asks if the times are OK with me whereas before he would say 'I'll have to check with BB' or 'I'll confirm for definate later'.

Anyway, I am rambling now - sorry, just want to say its great to be back and I have missed you all soooooo much. You wouldnt believe how many books I have read these last couple of weeks!

Wow good for you. So pleased that you feel more in control. Your brilliant new life is out there in front of you!!