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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

HUSBAND LEFT AFTER AN AFFAIR II - AM MOVING ON WITHOUT HIM

930 replies

solost · 19/12/2010 19:11

My husband left me in mid-August when I found out he was having an affair. My original thread (husband had an affair and I want him back) detailed the fact that I felt he had made a mistake and asked for advice on how to get him to see sense and come back to me and our 3 DCs. Four months on, he still hasn't returned and I am re-buildling my life without him. That thread is now full. This is the continuation. Thanks to all of you for your support.

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robberbutton · 13/01/2011 22:12

Bloody white knight syndrome! My H's OW was a single mum with a history of crap partners. I was like a) WTF you want to rescue a single mum by creating a new one? And b) think you beat all her exs hands down in the shitty bastard stakes. Angry Angry Angry They are soooooo pathetic and predictable.

Hi Solo, sorry haven't posted for a while. Still reading though and thinking of you. I'm just in limbo at the moment- I feel bad sometimes for other people whose marriages aren't working out, that mine isn't over yet, but it's no bloody fun. There's no proper commitment or closure, no healing yet, no getting on with life. That might come, but sometimes I just wish for proof of him still seeing her, so there can be some resolution now!

solost · 13/01/2011 22:26

ROBBERBUTTON: i've been following your thread and thinking of you too. X

H told me that when he met BB she told him howcrap her life was and how badly men had treated her. I said to him 'so you thought you'd show her that all men ARNT bastards by leaving your wife and kids for her? How ironic?' he was strangly silent.... As he was I also pointed out to him that although she had a problem with men treating her badly, she had no problem with her 'boyfriend' treating his wife and kids the same way.

I'm sorry you are in limbo, in a way your situation is worse than mine as the decision was forced on me and I have no choice but to move forward.

I am thinking of you and hope you find peace and some resolution soon. X

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thumbdabwitch · 13/01/2011 22:30

Amazing how none of them can see that, isn't it. Abso-fucking-lutely amazing. And what is even more amazing is that the idiot women they go for can't see it either!!!

solost · 13/01/2011 22:42

WWIFN: Re summer to October 2009, I cannot recall anything untoward, so I can only assume things were, well 'normal'. In fact the the first tine I felt any unease about H's behaviour was late Spring 2010, and even then I put it down to 'pressure at work'.

I agree with you completely regarding his inability to take responsibility for anything. I see that more and more but never noticed it before his affair. Do you think he has always been like that And I've just never noticed or that his affair has just brought this aspect of his behaviour into focus more?

Regarding the two hour phone calls, I pointed that fact out to him when he told me. How come you thought these phone calls were 'innocent' when your friend hearing a shortened version, knew straight away this relationship was a threat to your marriage?

He just said he probably knew he was right but didn't want to here. No responsibility.

Thanks fircthus WWIFN, it is, believe it or not really helping. X

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romneymarsh · 13/01/2011 23:00

Solo - I have been going through a really tough time, my own fault probably as I just cant seem to get over the hurt and sadness, I feel like im in a washing machine on repeat spin! You are doing so well.

Robberbutton - I have been following your thread as well, I was in limbo for 2 months when I found out about OW, while DH tried to decide who he wanted to be with! It was such a difficult time in my life, I feel for you.

solost · 13/01/2011 23:15

ROMNEY: So sad that you are still feeling this way. I hope you find a way to move forward soon. Will be thinking about you. Stay in touch. X

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WhenwillIfeelnormal · 14/01/2011 00:08

Well I'm glad it's helping Solost but do you also agree about how manipulative he is?

What you report about the months immediately prior to him meeting the OW are as I'd expect - perfectly normal.

I don't think someone suddenly develops a failure to take personal responsibility and would imagine that if you thought about it, there would be several less extreme examples of this in your life together. Just as there would have been lots of examples of when he manipulated others to get what he wanted.

For you to detach from this man though Solost I think you need to acknowledge who and what he is.

Anniegetyourgun · 14/01/2011 08:43

Extremely well done, all those of you who pointed out the glaring logical error in their "rescue" argument! The thing is, I believe, it's all about their role and not about the real live women in the case at all. (Or, of course, real live men, as we shouldn't forget the shoe is sometimes on the other foot.)

Interesting how the rescuing comes along with built-in shagging. I'm sure it's been said before, but they would be most unlikely to be so keen to rescue a woman who was old and/or hideous. The OW is not always younger or more attractive than the wife but she is invariably, in some way, shape or form, beddable. I suppose it's the reward for their kindness Hmm. And when they pop back for a quickie at home, that's being kind too, not wanting the wife to feel neglected. What nice fellows they are.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 14/01/2011 09:24

I remember once writing on here that it is revealing that these rescuers never offer their help to the 60-year old spinster colleague, who's got hairs on her chin Hmm.

This is just some of the sexism I notice.

Likewise, there was a woman on here recently having a relationship with a married man who, she says, reminded her that kind, supportive men still existed, after her abusive marriage. I just had to comment that women like her must have a complete blind-spot to the abusive behaviour the MM was directing at his wife, but it is as I said a few posts downthread, there are women who are quite happy to tolerate a man being abusive to some other poor woman, as long as it's not her personally.

StarExpat · 14/01/2011 10:06

I just wanted to apologise if I said anything to harsh yesterday. I didn't mean to be harsh, I was just so infuriated by this man.

I hope you're having a good day today, solost :)

abedelia · 14/01/2011 11:10

Just wanted to add to WWIFN's spot-on post that in every relationship, the whole feckin' point is that it is a partnership - the clue is in the name, etc etc.

Therefore, if something like your Dad's death happens, or if (as in other cases) you have small children that need taking care of, they should DAMN WELL BE THERE FOR YOU and cut you some slack. Same as you would if they suffered an illness, work disaster or tragedy, rather than going straight out and searching for the healing powers of another man's dick.

It is simply another manifestation of his selfishness and sense of entitlement - the minute the relationship wasn't all about him he looked elsewhere for someone who told him he was the bright centre of the universe.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 14/01/2011 11:26

I understand what you mean Abedelia but actually, I think Solost's attention being elsewhere is a complete red herring. This affair would have happened regardless of that - even if Solost had been fulfilling every need known to man, he would have still had an affair, especially as he had already met the OW. The fact that he had an affair despite the tragedy of bereavement and his own daughter's accident, is despicable.

StarExpat · 14/01/2011 11:38

Yes, I agree with WWIFN.

This would have happened anyway.

bananahammoc · 14/01/2011 12:43

Solost: 6 months Solost and he will want to come back but please dont make my mistake. I was so grateful for H realising his mistake I basically let him walk back in. Of course he left again and of course that was my fault because I made it too easy for him. Please tread carefully Solost, he will regret this and if he comes back (which I pray you wont want him back, but if you do....) it still hurts and every time they go to work, leave the house regardless how strong you want to feel, there is always an uncertainty. I wish you so much happiness but not with him. Sorry if thats what you want Solost but you deserve so much better. Its what I want, so I totally understand although now I want him on his knees, crying, begging so that I can, well lets just say, slam the door in his face. Praying for you hon xxxxx

solost · 14/01/2011 18:42

BANANAHAMMOC: I know exactly what you mean about wanting him to realise what he has lost/done, and I hope I too have the strength to slam the door in his face. But I wish I had your belief that we will meet someone who will treat us with the respect we deserve but how do you ever trust anyone ever again? I don't think I ever will. I also think of my daughters and the example H has set them. How men treat their wives, the mother of their children? I had a conversation with my two DD, in the bath the other night, the youngest was talking about her 'boyfriend' (her best friend at school - she's only 6!). And my other daughter said 'i'm never having a boyfriend or ever getting married' I asked her why and she replied 'i hate boys' . I told her when she grew up she would feel differently but no she wouldn't - she was adamant.

I hate that this will probably scar her and mould her opinion of men throughout her life. Or maybe it's me, overreacting. All because H thought the grass was greener and needed to rescue his damsel in distress.

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StarExpat · 14/01/2011 19:25

Lol solost. I think your DD is a little older than the age of the children I teach... Trust me, most of them "hate" boys/girls at this age Grin it's just what they "do". Youngest DD hasn't quite reached that stage yet.

solost · 14/01/2011 19:42

WWIFN: I do recognise the manipulation but I think part of the problem, is me. That I misjudged so badly the person who I saw grow from a boy to a man, who has supported me and been my best friend throughout my adult life. Were these traits really there all along? And was I really so blind, so conditioned to them. I am beginning to question our whole time together.

I have never been without him, for as long as I can remember. And now I am. And I just keep thinking, how could I have got him so wrong? The more his flaws are revealed the worse i feel.

This is one of my more pathetic posts I know. I am expecting hard truths from you and I will welcome them.

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solost · 14/01/2011 19:47

STAREXPAT: Thanks for that. I should be grateful, I suppose. Because when the day comes when she changes her mind.... That's when the worry will start!! I suppose I'm just overanalysing them ATM. Looking for signs of any distress etc. Before all this happened I would have laughed it off.

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StarExpat · 14/01/2011 19:52

And that's only natural :)
How is middle DD with H now, when together?

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 14/01/2011 21:05

Solost I will tell you the hard truths, as I see them. They are as follows:

All the time your H was happy to be with you and your life together, he wouldn't have needed to be this manipulative with you. However, the whole point of being manipulative is that other people won't recognise the signs or the motives behind each action. You might not have seen it, perhaps because you were easy-going and accommodating and in general, on important decisions, his will would prevail.

You have said yourself and we can see your strengths here; you are at heart a positive, optimistic person who tends to see the best in people. It is entirely possible that because he tended to get his own way, he didn't need to manipulate you as much personally.

I bet if we spoke to some of his colleagues or bosses though, we would hear a different story. His parents might recall examples of when he evaded personal responsibility for things and let others take the fall.

I also want you to take comfort from the fact that it is fairly typical in longstanding relationships that people make bargains - overlooking a person's faults (within reason) because despite them, that person's love and loyalty is beyond question and consequently their faults don't seem that bad. I'm sure it occurred to you in the past that your H was a bit pompous and stuffy and not the most re-constructed of men when it came to gender politics, but because you believed him at heart to be a good man who adored his family, you could put up with it.

A crisis like this forces someone in your position to look at the man in a new light and recall those bargains, which seemed small-fry at the time, but now add up.

It doesn't mean your life was a lie, because he wouldn't have been as bad then. He was where he wanted to be and he could achieve his aims quite comfortably, without having to manipulate people too much, in his personal life.

However, as soon as he had something to hide and feel ashamed of, those basic traits kicked in with a vengeance. And of course, he is still in that place now, because he isn't truly in the place he wants to be and can't bear being held responsible for this mess.

There is something I really would like you to focus on Solost. Could you have ever described your H as a feminist? Did he really value women, other than in a chivalrous, paternalistic way? Did his views influence yours about career women, or females who asked for what they wanted? Why would he not have forgiven your infidelity?

Can you also see now how he has still been manipulating you and the OW and how every interaction you have described, has him making it all about him? The staged row between you and the OW, the tittle-tattling about her to you, the staged "nervous breakdown", the counter-attacks that you were controlling him, the wheedling manipulation of your daughters to tell him they loved him, the "woe is me" E mail to his friend this week? All these things are all about him starring in his own drama, with no thought or concern for the wreckage he is creating in other people's lives.

Why do you think he can't face his parents? Like I said, although they no doubt love him unconditionally, they can probably think back to traits he had as a child and might even be blaming themselves, poor things. I'm assuming they are getting on in life and their pain at being estranged from their son must be acute, as well as any mis-placed guilt they might feel for what he has become.

It's not that you missed all the signs Solost, it's just that he didn't need to show them so vividly with you then, coupled with you doing what everyone does, cutting him some slack because his good points tended to outweigh the bad.

However, it is terribly important for your own survival that you see him as he now is - and stop thinking of him as a good man who was led astray. You have got to start seeing him as your foe - not your friend, because he will stop at nothing to achieve his own objectives, even at the cost of his DCs, let alone you.

I know that's hard - to change your view of someone after such a long time, but remember that all was well as long as he was getting what he wanted. That doesn't make you foolish at all. But see now that as soon as his objectives were not the same as yours, he was capable of callousness and manipulation to get what he wanted. The OW will find this out in time too of course and if she's got any sense, she will remember that he once treated another woman very badly too.

perfumedlife · 14/01/2011 21:18

Totally agree with WWIFN. At the end of all this, he didn't leave you solost for the other woman, he left for himself, to get what he wanted.

That tells me he will never look inward and take personal responsibility because, so long as he is number one, he will consider himself right.

tallwivglasses · 14/01/2011 21:35

WWIFN - you know those mn guides to everything? Can we have a book please?

Solost, I'm just one of probably many lurkers here who think you're pretty amazing. Just wanted to add my support - you're doing great.

StarExpat · 14/01/2011 21:38

This is all very true, but from what I've seen in a similar situation, he may very well grovel and say how much he hates himself and how horrible he's been.. Can't believe he's put you all through this... Etc. Friend's H ended up doing this but all he wanted was sympathy. Pity. That poor him had been led astray and she should feel sorry for him because he's such a mess from it all now... Woe is me.

If he does this, please don't buy into it. He has made this choice. He is the one who did this.

KateonMN · 14/01/2011 21:54

WWIFN - you could be talking about my ex.

Your posts have really helped me during this awful time. And are enabling me to see clearly and move on.

solost · 14/01/2011 22:00

WWIFN: Thank you for taking the time to post in such detail. Can I just say, without sounding like I've developed a crush, that I think you are amazing.

You have helped me so much, especially this week, I really think I may be turning a corner.

Of course, you are right and I see it more and more. It does make me feel better about my role in this.

Regarding your question about H forgiving me if the tables had been turned, I know he would never have forgiven me and he has said that. I thought the reason would be because he loved me so much. But having beenctge one who experienced it, i would say, you never really know what you will feel or whether or not you would forgive until it actually happens to you. I aways said I would never forgive H if he was unfaithful whenever the subject came up btw.

Thanks again. X

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