Is it ever possible to have a successful relationship with an active alcoholic?

[Isiteverpossible]

That's just it really... I've always known dh was a drinker but since losing his job earlier this year it has gone from bad to worse - hiding booze, mouth wash in the car, school complaining of him smelling of drink when he picked up dd ( the shame).

I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. My family are overseas. His are crap and our lives are geared round him doing most of the childcare at the moment. We can't afford to pay people but I feel my kids aren't safe.

Help. Please.

Regular namechanger btw. Some people on here know me in real life and I am hideously ashamed of our situation at the moment.

Just wanted to add - I have a friend who was an alcohlic and used to drive his family after drinking. He got a 3 year ban in 1992. He has managed to turn his life around - stopped drinking totally - it's the only way. Alcoholics always think they can cut down but they can't. It's quite likely that when redundancies come round employers will take the opportunity to get rid of someone they know has this problem.

It is possible to move on but only if he stops drinking.

You need to get your head out of the sand - tip off the police that your husband is collecting your child from school drunk - then he'll get banned. Or is it better to continue to put other people at risk for the sake of your own convenience?

And I also wanted to reply to your original question around whether you could have a successful relationship with an active alcoholic.

You are lonely and sad now but you can move on from that. Whereas from my experience, life with an active alcoholic never gets better - its most of the time hard & lonely & unhappy.

My mum is still with my dad (who still drinks), and I think her life has been just too hard. I wish that she had left my dad when we were little and we could have grown up without the shadow of his drinking continually hanging over us.

So be realistic - if you are prepared for a long hard struggle AND crucially so is your DH by staying sober & going to AA etc, then stay together. Otherwise for your own happiness and your children's, please find somewhere safe and secure to bring them up.