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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ladies who don't mind their DP going to lap dancing clubs ....

378 replies

nappyaddict · 12/12/2010 19:22

Do you mind them having a dance in a private room where even though touching is not allowed it is common for the girl to sit and dance cms away from their crotch/face?

OP posts:
walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 14/12/2010 23:09

Good god.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 14/12/2010 23:11

have just realised emmy, if you are under 30, you probably won't "get" my very bad Happy Enfield reference Xmas Smile

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 14/12/2010 23:12

bloody hell, I meant Harry Enfield Xmas Confused

emmyloulou · 14/12/2010 23:15

No I got it, I didn't want to say it as I had that voice in my head, I used to love Harry Enfield.

That said my Dad was/is a mega fan and still watches the old ones now Xmas Wink

Just under, onlyyyyy just ha!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 14/12/2010 23:21

Harry Enfield is one of my favourite comedians

I know he got a bit repetitive, but he was brilliant when he first started Xmas Smile

emmyloulou · 14/12/2010 23:29

Na I really like him, it was imaginitive comedy, not just standing their swearing about stuff.

Heroine · 14/12/2010 23:42

re pacifically - I was talking in dolespeak I am very versatile you know...

Its nice to see that emmy loulou is in love with a man who 'earns v good money too' I hope you will support a divorce law change that means you don't get set up for life if your rich hubby disappears are you sure you are not a socially acceptable prostitute? I would never become a passive non-earning kept woman to a big man with money because I just don't think its fair or dignified.

I know people think I am angry because most english women don't get direct in arguments until they are angry, but really I'm not, I just like to talk as straight as I can. I don't have to be frustrated out of my mind to say 'no' or 'you are talking BS'. I am a modern (unkept, not passive) woman - deal with it! :)

emmyloulou · 15/12/2010 00:02

You are modern alright, a thuggish, woman hating, ladette. I'll give you that, you do females a dis-service. Exactly the kind of bad attitude that gives "English" females such a horiffic name abroad. Prime example, it's just hideous. Agin brilliant illustration of what the kind of attitudes in the world now do to women.

He earns good money too, meaning I my self have a very good career, earning potential and some nice wads in the bank myself.

So no, not a prostitue, I brought more money into the marriage than he did, we made a decision we were well off enough he worked outside, I worked at home easy. I chose to be at home, it's great.

I'm not passive, or a kept woman, we are in a marriage where there is mutal repeect and we can make decisions together which respect each other.

You don't talk "straight" you just come across as vile and uneducated in the hopeful misguided thoughts that men and "women" today will think you are cool and not desperate ladette and selling herself short.

You are too try hard, it's pathetic really Smile You will cringe one day you really will. It just takes some longer than others to grow up.

Heroine · 15/12/2010 00:22

:) nice to see that the daily mail has helped you with your stereotyping - are all women who like sex and disagree with you 'vile ladettes' way to do down other women god we don't need men to keep us down, we do it perfectly well on our own!

emmyloulou · 15/12/2010 00:35

I love sex, love it. Only thing stopping me tonight is this hideous flu virus.

So I thoroughly enjoy sex and experimenting, most nights. I will spare all the detail.

Difference is, I know I am attractive and very sexual, I don't need to brag about it, obectify people or call other woman fat, ugly, sluts or whores to be secure in this. You can love sex without being nasty a ladette and utterly vile. What a warped train of thought.

Protest all you want, your posts are very revealing and vulgar. To me talking about women who don't have your oh so cool and confident attitude, in the manner you do, suggests the opposite.

You come across as awfully insecure and immature.

Heroine · 15/12/2010 00:44

thanks honey..much love

santasakura · 15/12/2010 01:08

emmyloulou Heroine is not a woman, so don't sweat it Smile

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 15/12/2010 01:09

How do you know that? I've been taken for a man before now.

santasakura · 15/12/2010 01:16

good point, women can absorb the misogyny aimed at them.
It's not subversive to become a misogynistic woman though: it's pitiful to hear a woman talk about other women the way Heroine does. Because if she is a woman, her posts smack of self-loathing.
Society pretends it differentiates between "fat ugly psychopaths you see at the dole office" and other women, but in truth, society sees all women through the same lens. A woman is a woman. That "fat ugly psychopath" you just refered to is you Heroine ( if indeed, you are a woman) because you are a woman, and so is she.

emmyloulou · 15/12/2010 01:50

Santa I know I am actually thinking for about the past 2-3 posts it's a heroine. Xmas Smile

I agree, with the whole self loathing, I'd add insecure to that too. It's really tragic in all honesty to read.

A woman can become so bombarded with shitty, sexist male orientated views, she starts to thinky like a misgynistic man, as it's "cool" and starts to refer to fellow women in derogatory terms with regards to their sexuality and physical appearance.

It's just pathetically sad. If you disagree you are a fat, ugly, psychopathic, prostitue and must hate sex Hmm Of course, sounds like an abusive husband dosen't it!

Heroine · 15/12/2010 02:03

honestly, where do you guys think you are going with this? If I hear a description of fat psychopaths, I don't identify with it.. I know they make it easy for people to get PCs and internet access on the dole.. is that who I am talking to??

santasakura · 15/12/2010 02:15

Can you understand how describing a woman as a "fat ugly psychopath" could be offensive to women?

nappyaddict · 15/12/2010 03:56

Haven't got time to catch up at the moment but

snowflake Do you and your DH fantasise about lap dancers he's been with as well or is it just based on male strippers that you have seen? Have the two of you ever seen a male stripper or lap dancer together?

Those that are against lap dancing clubs are you also against places with topless barmaids/waitresses or places where the barmaids/waitresses wear bikinis or crop tops and hot pants?

Are you against porn? If so is it all porn or do you consider home made porn like that shown on websites equivalent to you tube OK.

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 15/12/2010 04:10

Oh and what about working on sex phone lines or the girls on the sky channels like babestation?

OP posts:
snowflake69 · 15/12/2010 07:08

Im under 30 AF but course we watch Harry Enfield. Used to be good in the old days and Fast show but now the new stuff is rubbish. Grin

TheFeministParent · 15/12/2010 07:14

Heroine Tue 14-Dec-10 23:42:21
re pacifically

Is that a joke? The word is specifically.

snowflake69 · 15/12/2010 07:16

Nappy addict - We both play a game where we fantasise we are having sex with other people. Just random people we have seen, one of tv, people in the street etc. Then one ofus role plays that other person. I have seen strippers and lap dancers with my husband when he came to the club that I was bar staff in.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 15/12/2010 07:17

this thread has run it's course now, IMO

NA...go and talk about sex with your partner now, there's a dear

or better still, have some sex and stop yakking about it

TheFeministParent · 15/12/2010 07:20

Heroine Tue 14-Dec-10 22:20:02
And in my experience, women who are the nastiest about women being 'slags' for having even one sexual relationship are normally the ones who are getting the least - the fat ugly psychopaths you see at the dole office are always going on about the latest 'target' being 'such a slapper' - the last one that did saw me listening and then said 'I've got five kids you know... well three and two id you go by dads' and then guffawed out her fag smoke in my face. (btw benefit for that amount of kids works out at take home £1600 per month fact fans)

I see a pattern in these posts, ill thought out, immature and wildy inaccurate.

larrygrylls · 15/12/2010 07:22

"larry, do you really not see how pathetic that is ?

my DH would never think for one moment a lithe, gorgeous 20yo would be remotely interested in him (apart from his money, that is...)"

That is why I referred to it as a fantasy. I and most like me KNOW it is not reality. I do not know why it is pathetic. It is knowing play acting. No different than my wife fantasising it is Will.I.Am kissing her rather than me (something she sadly admitted to after X factor).

This idea of "family" money is ludicrous. What does it mean? Do you never buy anything purely for you such as a pampering at a spa or an unnecessary item of clothing, for instance? Of course, if money is tight, it is a different issue. But, if there is plenty around, I do not see the problem.

And, as for assuming what your DH would be interested in, let me turn the argument around as you would to me if I spoke of knowing a woman's feelings. How can you dismiss the feelings and thoughts of real men as irrelevant and tell them how they should think and feel? Given your views and how stridently you express them (and the consequences for your relationship should your DH disagree), he is hardly going to be entirely honest about this kind of thing.

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