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Original poster

Ladies who don't mind their DP going to lap dancing clubs ....

378 replies

nappyaddict · 12/12/2010 19:22

Do you mind them having a dance in a private room where even though touching is not allowed it is common for the girl to sit and dance cms away from their crotch/face?

OP posts:
Taghain · 12/12/2010 20:07

So lapdancing's not about sex?
You mean that when a woman waves her fanny in his face he's thinking about climate change or student loans? errrrm, right.

Grace, x2

Malificence · 12/12/2010 20:08

We walked past the local lap dancing establishment called ST1 ( looks just like STI )yesterday, it is a really grim looking place and I said God that looks just like a prison, to which DH said, well that's because it is one, for the girls anyway.

There were pictures of the girls on the doors and they were all scowly and pouty, they looked like they'd sat in cold sick - one thing's for sure, they weren't Law students working their way through Uni Hmm - dog rough is the only fitting description unfortunately.

About ten years ago, DH had to entertain prospective clients on behalf of his boss who was on holiday, he took them for a nice Italian meal and then to a quiet pub, when he told his boss, he went ballistic and said he ought to have taken them lap dancing, DH just said why the hell would I want to do that? That was his boss's idea of entertaining clients - dickhead.

NemoTheRedNosedFish · 12/12/2010 20:09

lap dancing clubs aren't about sex?

really? Wtf are they about then?

blushington · 12/12/2010 20:09

Women always seem to judge whether it's OK by how much they feel threatened by it.

Well, obviously a lapdancer isn't a threat to your relationship at all. If he's going to shag someone or run off with them it's far likelier to be with someone he works with or knows socially. I doubt any lapdancers WANT to sleep with punters, ew.

But that's not the point, the point is a) it's a bit sad to pay to see boobies
b) It's treating women like objects, which is creepy

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 20:09

loujay... and I bet he is pleased to see you, yes ?

after he's had his appetite whetted by other women who couldn't give two shits about him

yuk

although, you are right, it isn't really about sex, it's about treating women as objects, many of whom have been coerced or have no choice in the matter due to economic circumstances

and you happily sleep with a man like that, with his pre-primed erection at another woman's expense ?

the thought makes me puke, tbh

ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers · 12/12/2010 20:10

Well said Grace :)

Malificence it's men like your DH who have my respect.

GetOrfMoiLand · 12/12/2010 20:11

If my DP got his rocks off having a 19 year old Lithuanian girl's fanny shimmied in his face for a tenner, well he wouldn't deserve my respect.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 20:12

and I am not in the least bit threatened

Bluegrass · 12/12/2010 20:13

Sometimes when people engage in fantasy they like to be purely objects of lust. Sex, particularly in the imagination, doesnt have to be all bunny rabbits and flowers. A bit of objectification can be great fun, in moderation.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 20:13

so, this thread will turn into an absolute bunfight, of course

but never mind that

nappyaddict why are you asking ?

GraceAwayInAManger · 12/12/2010 20:19

Bluegrass, are you trying to say the dancers are living out their fanatsy by being objects of lust? Or that the customer hasn't really got a strange woman's vagina in his face, he's just fantasising? Confused

Original poster
nappyaddict · 12/12/2010 20:24

DP was telling me about how one of the lads had the girl sit on his lap, bury her cleavage in his face, put her breasts in his mouth, straddled his face and even showed him an open vagina Shock

This wasn't in a seedy back street club either. It was at a well known, expensive and seemingly strict club. If you lay as much as your little finger on the dancer in the main part of the room you get thrown out by the bouncers.

I was just wondering if those that usually wouldn't mind their DP having a private dance because touching isn't allowed would mind if they knew what actually goes on at some clubs?

OP posts:
GraceAwayInAManger · 12/12/2010 20:33

Yes, I've sometimes wondered if female partners are a tad deluded about that!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 20:34

NA so your DP was there ?

How do you feel about it, since this is your thread..?

I actually have never been naive about what goes on in these places. Hence why I woud never be cool about any partner of mine frequenting them.

The women who try to downplay what happens there and say "boys will be boys" and "you are acontrolling frigid wife if you ban them" are the real fools here..

because they are taking their cue from misogynists who want to objectify women and don't give a shit who they disrespect in the process

emmyloulou · 12/12/2010 20:38

Would I hell. Some desperado bloke paying for sexual thrills by either exploited women, or women who think he is an utter drunken dick and using him.

No repsect for men, who are so sad. Although those men I know who do have all had massive madonna/whore complexes.

The wife stays at home and all other women are whores, or sluts. They just generally dislike women in general. In my experience.

Malificence · 12/12/2010 20:41

That's the thing, the basic fact is that these men are sad and more than a bit pathetic.
Do men really wish to be seen as pathetic by their partners?

blushington · 12/12/2010 20:42

nappyaddict that is gross!! I am really surprised, I assumed it would still be no touching etc

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 20:44

blush, it is naive in the extreme to think that

of course, if your partner uses them, he would like you to believe that though

EatingAngelPie · 12/12/2010 20:46

indeed, i have a feeling most men would not be totally chilled if their wives went out and stuffed fivers in a mans g-string whilst he wagged his enormous erection in their faces.

blushington · 12/12/2010 20:48

anyfucker I was going mostly on what a friend who used to be a lapdancer told me

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 12/12/2010 20:50

one friend, blush?

hardly representative is it ?

blushington · 12/12/2010 20:51

I already said I don't like lapdancing clubs.

ohdearyme11 · 12/12/2010 20:51

I'm with Any fucker

blinder · 12/12/2010 22:18

I think touching very much goes on in private 'dances'. Didn't a lapdancer go into some quite lurid detail on another thread a while ago? Many men ejaculate too apparently.

Any lapdancers want to enlighten us?

I could never be -stupid- cool enough to stay with a man who wentto one of these clubs, for all the feminist, humanitarian reasons and also because unlike AF I would be threatened. Porn and the sex industry is proven to change the way men see their partners, including making unconscious unfavourable comparisons and increasing violent reactions.

Not as fun as it is sposed to be for anyone I imagine.

MrsFlittersnoop · 12/12/2010 23:00

Look, I can understand a bloke ending up in one of these clubs because it's:

a) a work do which would be awkward to slide out of, or:

b) a stag night with mates, ditto.

But if he's going from choice then feck him.

No, scrub that. DON'T feck him. He's already paying for sex.

I don't get this "it's just fantasy" crap. Fantasy is in your head. It can even be online dirty chat. But not some moist gusset waved in yer face.