Chin Up and Tits Out for the Recently Ditched No. 10

[googoomama]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity
:) :(

LOL at the sheer frivolity of ur life Happy ,Hi 5 !

Re thread if its not broken dont try and fix it,people can get what they want from it and leave the rest ,its all about healing and nourishment and just chillin out.We have all got other outlets in RL but this dont need changin'
{OK i obviously have know other outlets in RL and have taken to phoning dumplings whilst drinking coffee and smoking fags in carparks mid xmas tree shopping trip disaster}

Really Patience? not you surely?

One day I will post full mman vomit story - it will you all and you will tell me that I am no longer a student and should act my age. But then there haven't been any stories like that on the thread since the old days of ppts and tattoos (you know who you are).

Lol Happy at playing piano for 5hrs . You are right though, whatever feeds the soul . True about newbies & vets & tears & sex all mixed in together!! I guess I could tone down my sexploits for awhile .

should have read not alone !!

Do not smoke Starting. It is not time to go on the dark side. Same goes for you Patience (although when drunk I do loads of things that aren't a good idea).

Right, quick glass of wime and then I will kiss my piano goodnight. Tomorrow we go off to funeral so need to get stuff sorted.

Happy thanks for the reminder of ppts & tattoos . I for one though think you are more then entitled to behave like a student or to indulge yourself when you've had to deal with the crap we have

You've reminded me though that in the first thread we had tears, online dating & sexploits all mixed in together & it worked fine I think

Wime is so much nicer than wine isn't it? I've only had one glass ffs.

I know Happy was just a slip but i think next week will bring calmness ,sending you strength for tomorrow,all i know is in my darkest moments or when i am in a situation that i need strength and support i just think Chin Up Tits Out ,i imagine my dumpling friends backing me up and sending me positive vibes and it has got me thru a lot of difficult times and i thank you all for your encouragement ,God Bless and i am so glad that our paths crossed at such an emotional time in my life x

ps i hope m man rubbed ur back and stopped the sick getting on ur hair ,im sure he did cos he sounds like a true friend

Patience, thanks for your kind words. Well yes, mman certainly was a true gent. He didn't quite do what you said (luckily my hair is short) but did everything in his power to make sure I was ok.

Morning fabulous ladies, just to say that I am here on the new thread - nursing hangover after my lovely friend came over last night and we put the world to rights over a few too many bottles of wine!

She gave me some sound advice - we asked ourselves how did this happen? Both 40, fab and now single with 6 girls between us! Made plans to party in Xmas week and both go walking together to get fit! and I think whe when we get out of bed...I shall see if we can do something at New Year.

Can't belive how many friends in RL I neglected because being with exp was all I needed....while he, of course had his lady friends to email all along!

That's not a bad idea Happy perhaps the original dumplings can create a thread on Off The Beaten Track? For all that jazz if you think it's a good idea?

Just about to read the thread properely on everything I've missed since I went to bed Just caught Happy's post though first and wanted to reply x

Morning all.

Happy I hope today goes ok with the funeral and your Dad has a lovely send off. Piano sounds like fun and something to absorb you and take you out of yourself.

Patience I know what you mean when people complain about something really trivial and you think is that it for your worries. Also know I used to be like that though ie that a chip in the kitchen worktop actually mattered . Glad you got your TV sorted.

Starting hope you get back on track with college stuff before Christmas as you dont want that hanging over you.

CV I totally understand your frustration at having to cope with 2 tiny dc but you can only do your best. I began to realise after a few weeks it was a mistake to blame everything that went wrong or felt bad on the marriage split and that in fact life was often shit before that indeed more so ! Once you have done the tree/loft stuff and calmed down you will realise that actually you are taking great strides to independence and you dont always need a man to do these things. Saying that when we were grappling with the tree on friday I was in a fury and cursing xh (he offered to come and do it for us)but was determined to manage.

Kate glad you had a friend over and let your hair down. One fortunate thing for me was I had had to build a good social life for myself years before xh left owing to the fact he was never here in the evenings. This meant I had a strong support network in place and that my social life didnt really change when he left.

Tea does it matter if thread fills up fast, actually when I came on last night and saw there were 50 posts after my christening one I thought ooh lovely lots of chat. I do appreciate I have more time than most to read the thread though.

Happy I know what you mean but when I started out on here I really appreciated the mix of levels of recovery and advice of dumplings further down the road so I think we should stick together !

Btw CV dont ever think this is all about serenity you clearly missed my post a few days ago saying I wanted to set fire to xhs house with him in it !!!!

Well ds isnt well so suddenly the day is lovely and free with no trip miles away for a football match. I am looking at wonky but lovely tree and feeling pleased with myself that I organised it all without help and the best thing is it doesnt matter in the least about the lean. I told the dc its out trademark and I am feeling I love the lean because its symbolises the wonderful lack of anyone to moan/comment/belittle about it so next year it will be leaning too

How is everyone today - LC what in particular are you struggling with ? Come and talk to us we miss you.

Citydoll how has the weekend been for you ?

Mumfun,WQ,googoo,fairly,sov,maybees hope to see you later

Pink hope they had eaten the bouillabaise and it was just yummy pudding for dinner

Getting I've always enjoyed the thread as is, I can't really explain better than I've tried to, my thoughts yesterday. I've never thought about it before, it's just yesterday there were a lot of one liners one after another and it got me thinking. So I'll leave it there.

I don't think I'm going to be able to catch up on the thread as the DCs keep interupting me and I need to go out soon but I'll try later

Thanks Getting, is trip part way today and funeral tomorrow.

Yes LC, are you ok? I noticed your post also. I will be traveling your way later and will send you positive and happy vibes as I pass. (I would send you an Ocado man if I could .)

startingover - yes, have 2 dc from this marriage. Don't know about house yet, just received divorce papers which he is pressurising me to hurry up and sign, he won't leave (as he pays for it and wants to keep control of house situation).He may be able to stay here (good job, me been SAHM); so no one is moving anywhere at present.

Gettingeasier - any tips for building a social network (you mention you had to before your split as your exH was never there)? Mine is non-existent and it's tough.

Honestly Tea just tell your dc Mummy has MN duties to fulfil .Have a nice day are you going out after church its a lovely day in Herts

Er tell me to mind my own but wtf re house situation finally ? I imagine if you have divorce papers in your hand you have long since sought legal advice ? My knowledge of it is 1) your house has 4 bedrooms so exceeds your requirements (assuming you only have 2 dc living with you) and so you buy him out or sell presuming you are unable to do that 2) He has to support you in your home until the dc are 18 at which point you sell and divide the equity and in the meantime he leaves the home. Obviously you arent daft though and theres some godforsaken reason he doesnt have to go but I am so sorry I just hope you arent doing his laundry or cooking.

Wrt building a social life well it was a lot to do with my dcs friends parents but also getting out of my comfort zone and approaching/inviting people to come over or do stuff. So often I find that people jump at the chance to do things or meet up but it doesnt occur to them to make the first move. I never worry about always being the one who picks up the phone to call certain people, dont get paranoid if Im left out of certain things and dont "count" how many times I've hosted something when someone else hasnt. Its a bit embarrassing to admit that I have only had this open outlook for the last few years and previously I was pretty much the opposite of how I am now. Surprise surprise I have a much better social life now . I dont know finally I would start by opening your address book and anyone who you like call them up and fix up something just to get the ball rolling and dont feel disconsolate or paranoid if they are busy etc just persevere.

Sorry I meant to say to Romney I read somewhere on another thread you saying to someone it will get better everyone keeps telling me that it will and you sound sooo low. But it will get better and I know it almost gets boring doesnt it feeling low and fucked up about our xhs but unfortunately there are no shortcuts. Just remember this thread can be used for saying the same things over and over because for a long time we feel the same things over and over.

Hi all, just a quickie (chance would be a fine thing )

You ok Tea ? The only thing I find hard on here is 'block posts' with no paragraphs or spaces between lines of writing. (Old lady with bad eyesight emoticon)

Well done re piano Happy, I LOVE piano music, can we all come round for a festive sing song ?

Got to go but I'll be back xxx

I have older child as well, studying, so still lives part-time at home,can't afford to buy him out (large mortgage), won't agree in a million years for me and kids to stay in house;he may be able to afford to.

He doesnt have a choice unless your house has more bedrooms than children , no court would rule he stay ,alone, in the family home while his SAHW and dc get chucked out. You have seen a good solicitor finally ?

Hi all. I'm struggling with everything atm. No xmas shopping. No decorations. No smiles. Can't do it any more. Sorry x

Hi LC - Am a long term lurker on this thread after my H left me in August.

So sorry to hear that you are feeling overwhelmed.

I still feel like this often. It passes, but it is horrible to feel like you are feeling so empty on your own. And very hard to keep the perspective - to recognise all that you have achieved keeping things on track during this massive life crisis, and how you have supported your dc and kept them safe, and loved them.

Have you anybody you can speak to in RL? When I feel like this the only thing that really helps is sobbing down the phone to a friend. Better still if you can see someone and they can hold you while you cry for a bit.

You are doing brilliantly, as far as I can see. We all need to know that it is OK to feel like shit sometimes - but remember that we will be fine. And even happy in time.

And the thought of Christmas makes me hyperventilate, too. Have had cards since November, and can't bear the thought of writing them. This time of year is so hard...

LC pmed you.

Hello Firepile welcome and sorry you are anxious about Christmas. I empathise so much with all those who are having their first Christmas as a dumpling.

Technically this is mine too but last year was soooooo awful , finding out about ow, xh leaving Boxing Day etc etc that I am counting last year as my first dumpling christmas !

I have posted before but think it worth saying again that everything with any sort of Christmas connection last year made me want to curl up and die. It was only sheer willpower and the knowledge that it would be the last one for the dc with us as a family that kept me going. Also the adrenaline of the whole situation. So take heart ladies this year I am giggling at my wonky tree and putting out the decorations with not a tear in my eye and you will be too next year.

Firepile whats your situation ? Do you have dc ?

LC, after all the drama you had you were bound to hit a low point. Just put one foot in front of the other & fake it till you make it. You will be ok & you will be happy again. ((Hugs))

Finally, would agree that you need legal advice. It won't be practical to keep living together for very long & with dc's & as a sahm it would seem you will be in a strong position regarding the house. Agree with Getting get out as much as you possibly can. If xh is still in the house well you have a live in babysitter atm so use it! I did that with xh when he was still here at end of marriage. Also join clubs or toddler groups (depending on age of dc's). Go to parks with dc's, get out of house as much as possible.

Getting, I am loving the idea of a lean . That is true dumpling spirit

Kate, glad you've got a rl friend in same boat atm you will really be able to help each other & offer each other support .

Glad to see you're still here Pink & omg even cracking jokes about quickies things must be good tg!!

Waves to all........