Can anyone talk to me about sub/dom relationships?

[CuriousSub]

Right, well, I have been here a loooong time but have name changed for this.

I came to these boards when I found out about my stbxh's affair and the advice here was great and really helped. I went through hell for 3 years but I am now in the process of divorcing him.

So now I am testing the water and have frequented some dating sites and have been speaking to a gorgeous guy who is far too young for me and we got to talking about what we like. It turns out I love being dominated and he was looking for a sub.

Sooo, we have been texting, emailing and now speaking to each other and the whole idea is driving me mad with desire. I am actually short of breath when he suggests things.

This is something I hadn't even thought about before but I definitely want to see this through. He wants to meet and I would love to.

But I wanted to ask here is anyone has been/is a sub? What is expected of you? Where is the best place to look for advice/ideas?

Sorry, I know it isn't Friday yet - but nearly!!

why is it called "playing" ?

sounds a bit infantile, tbh

why use such a twee word ?

fgs, call it what it is

It is just what they call it AF.

Thanks Batman. I feel safe chatting to him although I do realise that I need to be careful. I am just looking forward to meeting him and starting

well, I think calling it that makes it sound juvenile

here was me thinking this was a grown-up, informed, mature decision about how you want to express your sexuality, and it's called playing

bloody daft

CS and i can tell you there is nothing like the rush of adrenalin just before you meet
whether it be sat in a pub waiting, or just before you knock on a door.

Tell me about it!!

I have felt high with adrenalin for weeks now. I have even lost weight. I dont feel like eating. I know the man I am meeting is thoroughly enjoying the anticipation. He has done this before though.

I have my outfit now

oh go on tell me what it is?
i a rubberist myself lol
as for roleplay i prefer sub but can switch

Batman - I'd suggest that the lovehoney forums are a more appropriate outlet for your wank fantasies.

Batman - check your messages - I will get stick if I go public with what I am wearing

no probs sounds lovely

CS, why are you interacting with someone with very little MN history, other than his resurrection of old kinky-sex related threads?
I think you're both on the wrong forum tbh.

Oh that's lovely that is Batman.

I presume you've read the whole thread and seen for yourself a vulnerable, and by her own admission self destructive op.

Like a bee to a honey pot is it? (puke)

Do the words "asking for trouble" mean nothing to some people?

CS.

I think you really need to have a think about this.

Its very worrying that you are so freely chatting to this batman poster, not knowing his history, and giving out details about this kind of stuff.

I can understand what you are going through and i know it all seems very exciting.
Because it is.

And im speaking from experience.

But, with things like this, it is very very easy to get way out of your depth, and to think you want something... and then it turns out you dont.

That is a very hard thing to reconcile with yourself after its all happened.

Ive met lots of people in this secene. SOme of which are lovely, and some of which are twisted idiots. Sometimes, its the ones that seem the lovelist that turn out to be the biggest idiots.

Im not saying this is bad, or to not do it, because, its clear to anyone, your going to.

But just think about it. Think about the reality of it, the reality of what might happen, rather than just letting the adrelin kick in and give you a high.

and please, stay safe.

I just told him what about my outfit, privately. He isn't letching.

I didn't want to go public here.

Sorry, it did look sordid but that wasn't my intention.

I am fine

thanks CS

he will be letching.

Why else would he ask?

This is why i am worried for you.

You think you are in control, but you clearly arent.

You are naieve, and entering into something you dont really know anything about.

If you want to get into bdsm, then thats fine, but please wait a little while, do it when your are in a better place.

Please.

plus. i think you are naieve to think an outfit would be shocking.

Really, it wont be.

Totally shows you are in the wrong head space to be doing this.

It is when you are 46 and haven't done anything like this before!

"He isn't letching" - you really think so?

We get saddos hanging around on this forum just for opportunities like this, he isn't the first and will certainly not be the last - their MO is always the same, bumping old threads and making pervy comments, it's not very often that regular male MNers get stuck into the juicy sex threads, they know they will get out-filthed every time .

There's something not quite right here - you know the kind of things we talk about on here, yet you imagine you would get stick for describing an outfit? You're having a laugh.

in the words of an old tv ad
"we all want to live a little!"
or maybe a lot!!!

Like I said , you're on the wrong forum - go and moan about your "sexless marriage" somewhere else. It's always the same story.

CS - exactly.

I can understand, its shocking to you, as its not something you have done before. so thats whats giving you the thrill. Thats whats giving you the adrelin rush, which is so highly addictive.

I can promise you, he will be letching.
I can promose you, noone will be shocked by your outfit.

I can promise you, if yoiu do this right now, you will regret it.

Batman - quoting tv ads does not make you cool.
I am more than happy to live a little, or maybe a lot. Im more than comdtable in my own sexuality, im also clued up enough about this subject ( and your paticular fetish) to know that CS is not in the best place to do this right now, and that there will be a wealth of idiots out there ready to take advantage of her.

Mal, it was more the fact that my Dom contact had told me what he wanted me to wear and I had gone out and bought it specially.

Other posters have already had a go at me because I said he had told me what to wear. They just dont understand the situation.

This is part of the role playing.

I think I may have to disappear and stop using this name.

There are others contacting me and I am feeling uneasy x

Sorry CS, it sounds like you're in way above your head here.

This man is not your "Dom", he's a complete stranger at the moment and you are playing with fire.
You are not listening to the people who know about this lifestyle - big, red flashing lights and alarm bells going off allove the place, yet all you can see is the potential thrill.

I'm not suprised that all the creeps are coming out of the woodwork to contact you - it must be a veritable wet dream for them, inadequate sad losers that they are.

CS. He is not your dom.

Seriouisly. He isnt.

He cant be, as hes not met you.

You have given this man too much power without having ever met him.

TBH, most men who refer to themselves as ' doms' are idiots. and in it for the wrong reasons.

It wont be you that he is interested in, just the fact that you are willing to submitt to him. You could be anyone.

If people are contacting you and you feel uneasy over the internet, in the safety of your own home, then think how you might feel if this was happening in RL.

Seriouisly. Just think.

I think you are in way above your head. WAY above it.