Can anyone talk to me about sub/dom relationships?

[CuriousSub]

Right, well, I have been here a loooong time but have name changed for this.

I came to these boards when I found out about my stbxh's affair and the advice here was great and really helped. I went through hell for 3 years but I am now in the process of divorcing him.

So now I am testing the water and have frequented some dating sites and have been speaking to a gorgeous guy who is far too young for me and we got to talking about what we like. It turns out I love being dominated and he was looking for a sub.

Sooo, we have been texting, emailing and now speaking to each other and the whole idea is driving me mad with desire. I am actually short of breath when he suggests things.

This is something I hadn't even thought about before but I definitely want to see this through. He wants to meet and I would love to.

But I wanted to ask here is anyone has been/is a sub? What is expected of you? Where is the best place to look for advice/ideas?

Sorry, I know it isn't Friday yet - but nearly!!

Good to hear you are not offended Curioussub and that you were out enjoying yourself!

Indeed, the thread has evolved quite a bit since you last posted; from some posters being given passes for their ridiculous comments (they are entitled to their opinion you see), while others are branded ?idiots? and ?stupid women? for ?spouting bollocks? (there are some who are most certainly not entitled to their opinion).

sniggles

I am still willing myself to (as well as gathering the strength) to address a so called feminist who is quite comfortable in linking the video of a band (whose name carries phallic connotations) singing about the sacredness of sperm to a group of children in what can only be deemed as paedophilia masquerading as entertainment.

No Dittany, it is not ?very amusing?.

SA

Dittany dear, resorting to the good old tactic of name calling will not work on me. I know that anyone who tries to demean/anger me is only trying to control me. Stating the truth about the Monty Python video was not meant to be an insult, but pointing out the obvious.

You might want to seriously consider ridding yourself of that block off on your shoulder so you can actually hear and understand what I am saying and maybe learn something.

Have a good day; go outside and build a snow woman (heh) so you can calm down or you will give yourself a nosebleed.

Surrey are you referring to the Youtube clip of Monty Python? That is an all time comedy classic and they are not a "band" it was part of the film The Meaning of Life.

You are entitled to be offended by the film and its content, but your "truth" is not absolute it is an opinion many would disagree with.

Dittany is good value and well informed and her opinion is usually well worth hearing. Being challenged in our beliefs is good for us. If you aren't secure enough to cope with that you should look at why that is instead of going off on one.

Enjoy the snow it is lovely outside!

How did you come to the conclusion that I am going ?off on one??. Did you expect me to sit back and not respond to Dittany? I certainly will not be doing so and if anything will do so in a dignified manner. I don?t have to verbally abuse another poster to get my point across.

I have no issue at all with anyone?s contribution (however misguided or inappropriate it may be). Where I have challenged a poster on their comments, I have taken on board their point of view and like I pointed out earlier on, tried to have a collaborative discussion where I try to find the common truths in both side.

You clearly value Dittany enough to stand up for her, and good for you for doing so. However, I don?t need backup and can defend myself. That is how secure I am in myself and my thoughts. I can cope with whatever is thrown at me.

As for truth ? you are indeed correct. There is no truth that is absolute and at no point have I tried to convince anyone of mine ? I have only shared them. The beauty of life is that there are many truths, and there is no harm in experiencing them all.

As soon as I know if I am needed to work or not, I shall be outside enjoying the snow.

SA

There was talk earlier re not wanting something to show up on their 'pc history' - then go through google to find something and it will not show up on your history. Test it out with something else first if you are in doubt or delete your history once you have done it by going into your 'Safety' box in the drop down on the right hand side of your pc/laptop and its gone. Simples.

For anyone even remotely interested - the bloody snow has halted play!!!

I can't get to him because of the bad weather.

And for those who were worried about me meeting him, he has told me not to set off because he doesn't want to compromise my safety!!!

Bless

"I don't have to verbally abuse another poster to get my point across"

But you did Surrey Amazon. In a really quite explicit and shocking way. What you said to Dittany is one of the most horrible things I've seen in a while on Mumsnet.

And to be honest, I think you should be careful. You have no idea what other posters past experiences have been. Many women have experienced sexual abuse during their lives and could have found what you said distressing. It certainly grossed me out that a woman would say that to another woman with such venom.

I think an apology is in order personally.

And I am not defending Dittany, she is quite capable of sticking up for herself.

No ingesting of semen please. Widespread unprotected oral sex is contributing to rising rates of oral and throat cancer caused by the same hpv viruses that cause cervical and anal cancer. Or, on the less dangerous but annoying, 50% of new genital herpes cases being the type 1 usually associated with oral herpes.

readers, I called SA a disgusting person in my last deleted post, nothing worse

just FYI

< senses a Xmas MN ban approaching >

AF if you are given a festive ban we will need to stage a mass, virtual candlelit vigil

CuriousSub I was not so much focussed on the dangers of meeting the man (although God knows meeting anyone off t'internet can be fraught) more that you didn't seem to be in a good place to be meeting men atall at this moment. Hope you have something nice to occupy you tonight instead

dittany, I shall pm everyone on the thread my posts next time

before they go poof for very little reason at all

maybe it's in the wording

I should say "that was disgusting" rather than "you are a disgusting person"

although the latter is the more accurate term

BTP..the funny thing is, some men really believe that

tell me abaaaard it

I am probably one deleted post away from a ban because of it

Just an update - rescheduled for 27th Dec. We have chatted lots tonight - I cant wait to meet.

Just to confirm - I really dont mind the derailment - the thread has gone in an interesting direction

take care, CS

CS i think you will be fine, i have met and played with many people over the internet and nothing bad has ever happened, i hope you get your dream session