this dad at the school gates - these things never end well, do they?

[MysteryWhiteGirl]

I've read enough of these kinds of threads to know that I should just run as quickly as i can in the opposite direction, possibly screaming to scare him away. And I will, I just need to get this thing (which is really nothing anyway) off my chest first.

So, there's this dad at the school gates, obviously, and it's fittingly teenage really because all he does is stare at me. That's all he does. I know i don't look great first thing in the morning, but it can't just be him wondering how anyone could leave the house looking so crap, because i'm sure he would have got bored of staring by now if that was the case.

I keep telling myself I can just go on ignoring him because I'm married, and he's married and we have two kids each and i'd never want to cause anyone's children pain, or anyone's partner for that matter, especially my own. I think i've just been thinking about this way too much because recently I can't seem to get him out of my head. He's hot, in the slightly eccentric looking way I've always had a weakness for. There's definitely a hint of Johnny Depp about him, which is like someone offering me my wildest fantasies on a plate...

It's all so massively inappropriate, and though i'm definitely not as attracted to dh as i used to be, and we've had quite a few problems, there's no way i could ever act on this.

I hadn't seen his OH before this weekend (although i'd wondered about her a fair bit) when there was this community event we all turned up to with the kids, it was quite a shock to find out she looks quite a bit like me (although i'm not sure why i find that surprising, most people have a type, i suppose). I was even more surprised to find that he was still staring at me. Insensitive prick. If he thinks i'm going to wreck two perfectly good families for the sake of sex then he's mistaken. if he's got issues with his marriage then he needs to work on them with his OH, and I know i need to do likewise. Right?

I can't believe I'm even contemplating any of this. If i was her I'd hate me, and from the look she gave me the other day she probably already does. Jeez, all this and I haven't even spoken to either of them; that's bored shitless village life for you, I suppose.

mwg- Brilliant riposte, searing.

Hiding this "petty thread" you have found someone who agrees with you, so yeah latch onto that and carry on.

Maybe give your beau a voucher for spec savers and see how you get on?

Besos

you'll be sadly missed

thatsnotmymonkey, ''sub saharan schools and wells'' what do you do for a living? Your quite blunt but sometimes people need that. I'm not taking the piss. Tbbh, I need a job.

Mystery, my DH were SOOOO in love. I found an anniversary card from 5yrs ago and the exact words in the card from him were;

''The last 7yrs have been amazing and I can''t think of anywhere else I'd rather be''

It's making me cry

for you.

you're right we need to seriously sort our sex lives out. but is sex the problem or is it an emotional thing? cos i know when dh and i first got together we hardly left the bedroom for about the first 6 months...

If I'm really honest, SEX has always been an issue in our relationship. My DH has always put restrictions on it:

1.Insists both of us shower beforehand
2.Me being shaven(i'm really cringing typing this by the way as it's become clear to me it's mental )

1. I can't touch his penis first as it irritates him-i have to wait till he's aroused
2. I cant initiate sex first, he has to

He never bloody wants sex, so what do I do?

It's fucked up

I consider myself as pretty bloody normal so why do my posts look so WEIRD

it does sound like an awful lot of rules and restrictions... god i'm the last person who knows what you should do as i'm sure my fans on this thread will testify! I'm sure someone else will say 'sex therapist', but i've no idea how such a process works...

maybe someone much wiser will come along with some ideas

Thanks Mystery.
When complying to his rules, I didn't mind them because our sex life was really good. I started to get irritated by his fucking rules and sex happened less frequently. When it started to wain, I challenged the rules and he made out they weren't really that important but I felt he was just complying. Now we have no sex life.

Mystery, So are you missing sex or emotional connection?

Limara, your DH sounds like a control freak- did anything happen to him as a child that may make him think sex is dirty for some reason?

Furry big

How do other couples manage to have sex, WTF are we doing wrong?

Mystery, just realised I've majorly hijacked your thread. Sorry.

I'll pop it in my own thread but in the meantime, talk to the school dad and just think of him with a smelly willy lol . I'm just trying to put you off

Do you do things together, walks, go to the cinema, whatever, just spend a bit of time each week chatting to each other and being close physically touching, hugging etc without sex? We are mostly 50/50- I fancy a bit when I am mid cycle, so usually me that starts, then towards the end it is usually him who initiates. (When I say 'start' it could mean a cheeky grab of the bum, not very complicated, and although I do like him to be clean, if it is sex without any trimmings, really not worried about him washing first, and pretty sure he would take what is on offer-washed or not

how the hell have you gone from him looking at you to "if he's got issues with his marriage then he needs to work on them with his OH, and I know i need to do likewise. Right?"

it's a crush that's all

furrybootsnotjandals- he's ALWAYS tired.

We never go anywhere anymore. When we did go out, he'd usually sink 5 pints and was pissed as a fart. We'd get home and he'd run up to bed and collapse.

He HATES walking. I'm always suggesting it. Tbh, our DD is usually around hijacking the moment. I don't mean to be horrible about DD IYKWIM.

We've been to the cinema but tbh, it doesn't help as we get home and go back to normal.

We used to go out for meals but he always critisied the fool, not being enough to eat and didn't talk while he ate-'can't talk eating'.

The more I type, the more worring the situation is.....

"If he thinks i'm going to wreck two perfectly good families for the sake of sex then he's mistaken."

Blimey! Carry on like this and you'll be divorcing your spouses, marrying each other and having a new set of DC, before you've even spoken

OP - it's in your mind, but you know that. If you want to use it to your advantage, use his moronic staring as your morning ego boost.

Alternatively, just go up to him later and say, "sorry, have I got something on my face? how embarrassing!" and start a conversation. He probably has a voice like Alan Carr and farts the national anthem at parties.

Limara - your DH sounds, well, strange TBH. No talking while eating? No sex without shaving? Sounds like he actually dislikes personal interactions, including sex. No-one who liked sex would put so many hoops to jump through in the way of it. All those rules seem designed to a) control you (no initiating sex or touching him first? and compulsory shaving WTF??) and b) limit the occasions on which sex is at all possible. I really want to ask if he's from Lancashire, but that's probably inappropriate :o

ElephantsAndMiasmas - no, not from Lancashire. Sounds like a tale aye Elephant?!

Just know a few Lanc/Manc dwellers who don't talk whilst eating! Seems crazy to me.

I've got to go, I've been on her ages today and I feel guilty as the house looks shit untidy. thanks for the support though, I really appreciate it.

Uh dont wanna piss on anyones bonfire...but if someone stares at me I often look at them back to wonder wtf they are doing. Is it at ALL possible he is sat at home going to his wife 'gosh that weird lady on the school run was staring at ME again?' How do you know he isn;t weirded out by the staring?

I mean you must be looking qite often....he might be also doing the same. She might have given you evils cause she sees you staring at HER husband.

Why don't you just, uh, not look?

OP. Have you considered that maybe he's trying to start a fight? You know, the old staring thing that kids/men do in the playground/pub?

I'd go up to him and say the following:

"Yeah? Yeah? You wanna be the big man? OK then sunshine, lets take this outside [realise you're already outside, but I just feel that you need to get this in somewhere], you been cruisin for a bruisin some time etc. etc. etc."

Seriously. He doesn't fancy you, he just wants a ruck.

Alternative explanations:

He represents the UK in staring competitions and takes his training seriously (notice how he never blinks).

He's a spy. A rubbish one. (What do you do for a job?)

You're 8ft tall and just forgot to mention it to us.

He actually is Jonny Depp and is doing some research for his next big part, where he plays a stary man in playgrounds.

The possibilities are endless....

Or.... you've got an ickle crush and want to share it with the girls in the MN playground. Reckon that's fair enough. You do sound slightly mental in your OP though and then strangely self aware subsequently. Rather odd, but endearingly so.

deepheat you've certainly made me smile. i actually did consider the fight scenario. not sure if that makes me more or less mental though