It's all about......ME! :)

[BibiBlocksberg]

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

"Heartache is verily a bugger"

I see you've been spending time on the Middle Ages speak thread

"having to talk about/think about anything good whatsoever about our relationship brings tears to my eyes"

Stay away from Disney productions until this stage passes (about 5 weeks in my case) :)

The cats are driving me absolutely Bananas thank you for asking.

It's been bucketing it down with rain here for days now and that means they insist on being entertained with pieces of string, catnip mice, etc in lieu of being able to go outside grrrrrr.

One of them has turned into a furry toddler and sits outside the bathroom down miaowing pathetically everytime I use the toilet.

I do love them both but purrleeeaaase - let me use the can in peace

Off to round them up for a last feeding and then to bed.

Enjoy your reading Elephants and sleep well NoNames and Nora and everyone else still following this thread :)

bathroom door not down def. time for sleep here!

I feel better that people agree that heartache is a bugger. I have accepted I will always feel the way I do about someone. It is massive progress that I have realised I don't actually have to do anything about it. I am posting this as a reminder to myself. I blame myself for posting it in the first place for why I dreamt about him.

Hey Fab

I don't know anything about your personal circumstances obviously, but yes it's true that heartache is a bugger, and not always a bugger we can actually do anything about. I always used to read books and watch films where there was unrequited love, or two people who loved each other but "couldn't" be together and get really annoyed with them. It seemed as if they just weren't really trying :) But I get it a lot more now, as I get older. Not all relationships are meant to be the kind where you live together etc etc.

Probably sound a bit barking now, but what I mean is, there are some people who I am just profoundly glad to know or have known. The fact that we might not be together now is not the most important thing.

Bibi - it's sounds like one of your cats has realised that there's a vacancy for someone to demand your attention and care 24/7, and is keen to step into the breech :o

"Not all relationships are meant to be the kind where you live together etc etc."

V. profound for a tuesday morning that :)

"I blame myself for posting it in the first place for why I dreamt about him."

No need for any blame I wouldn't have thought? Getting it out into the 'universe' as I like to say seems to have helped you untangle the feelings?

"there's a vacancy for someone to demand your attention and care 24/7, and is keen to step into the breech"

- if he starts pawing me on a saturday morning demanding to be 'fussed' employing whining noises he's getting re-homed

Elephants (btw I love elephants and my dh is being very unreasonable as he won't let me have one), you are right. This guy meant the world to me but we were just too young. When we did want to be together other people conspired. There is a tiny bit of me that thinks we will be together one day but I don't know how as I don't want to be without my DH. The problem we have (apart from being married to other people) is thatI am we are just emotional and can't handle just emailing once in a while and for the sake of my marriage I told him we couldn't talk anymore. He doesn't always listen but mostly does. He is messed up too.

Bibi - posting has helped but I am loathe too on here as it has been going on and off for so long and I got a major flaming and can't take that as I have bigger issues to deal with atm.

Profound, yes. Tuesday mornings 10am-11am are my hours for profound, but almost certainly very unhelpful and nonsensical, pronouncements.

Can see why you're reluctant to post more, Fab. Luckily waaaaay down here at the bottom of Bibi's thredde (too much medievalism) no-one will think to look for you with pitchforks etc.

Bibi - am :o at you looking for warning signs in the cat.

So - what club night is it tomorrow then?

"Bibi - am at you looking for warning signs in the cat"

Well, he is a male cat so where it's happened once history might repeat itself

Doesn't help that he has a very girly squeeky way of 'talking' to me anyway.

The vet says he has a girly miaow, the cowbag, how dare she

"So - what club night is it tomorrow then?"

Feeling sorry for myself Club tonight I think. Developed this irritating chest thing last night and is painful and making me feel rubbish today.

I used to have a real tiny violin - often wish I'd kept it for such occasions :o

Only joking, sure it's horrible. You need some of these bad boys

""

...to that 'stripping' tune (in virgin ad atm I think)

"I used to have a real tiny violin - often wish I'd kept it for such occasions"

I used to want to learn to play the 'big' violin. Decided against it though, to the great fortune of all of my neighbours :)

I can play the "big" violin, really quite badly. But more or less gave up after one practice session in student halls. Realised it was violin OR making friends with my neighbours, not both :o

I feel a bit low today . Can't really put in to words why. Might go and do something else.

Turn off the computer and put on loud music and dance around the room. I was doing this in the gym changing room yesterday, to MP3 player (so, effectively, silence to the outside world), on my own. Of course, someone came in.

Elephants - that puts you on a parr with my most favourite fictional character, Sherlock Holmes. :)

Also, I do hope you're not one of those 'nude' changing room people. You know the ones that will insist on wandering around fully or half naked while they dry their hair, put on make-up.

:)

FabNow - could be the constant lack of light and therefore low levels of vitamin D. I can send you my desk top 'daylight lamp' to borrow for while?

It's actually really sunny where I am today so if weather is passable I'd say get out for a walk even if it's just 15 mins.

Then do nude dancing a la Elephants

Shuturp

No I keep my modesty in the changing room. This woman was hanging around naked next to me the other day for so long that I eventually initiated a chat with her. You know, just in case she hadn't noticed that her breasts were perilously close to my appalled face. Didn't say that of course, being British I passed comment on the weather :o

I don't have a problem with nudity in changing rooms of course, but at certain points you just want to say "oh just PUT YOUR PANTS ON! We've all seen it now!" in manner of exasperated parent.

Modesty, not dignity though :o

I feel flat. Things on my mind. Horrible dream which upset me and I had a bit of a panic attack when I thought about it. Missing my husband.

He he he - I WILL manage to get you a reputation Elephants :)

Amazes me how there is ALWAYS someone like that in every bleeding changing room.

As you say, put some PANTS on dear, we've all got one and are bored with having your's forced on us

Michael McIntyre does a hilarious bit on just that - blokes doing a lot of 'willy waving' in changing rooms :)

FabNow - maybe a comedy DVD as another suggestion?

Really sorry am not minimising your mood today but am really dire in finding appropriate things to say to real pain plus am v practical of the 'put the kettle on' variety in times of trouble

Hope you feel better soon!

Fabby - cliche as this sounds, have you tried doing calming breathing? I find that if you wake up in a panic from horrible dreams, it puts you on edge for the rest of the day. Is that what you mean? Apparently if you breathe out for more seconds than you breath in, your bodily relaxes whether you like it or not, IYSWIM. So breathe in for count of 5, breathe out for count of 10, for a while.

Just got in from measuring new windows and old curtains to see if they will fit. More shabby than chic sadly!

Hi Fab sorry you are low. KateonMN on the Dumplings thread has a great technique for blocking unwanted thoughts about certain people which worked well for me. Put an elastic band on your wrist and if you start thinking mournfully about what will never be you have to ping the elastic! It stops the self pity and jolts you out of it I think. She was going to get herself a bracelet as a reward!

I get the panicky dreams thing too. I woke up one morning convinced someone had chopped a lot of chipolatas in half and hidden the pieces around my bedroom! There are other dreams about water flooding or loose electric cables which wake me in a fright.

Isn't the subconscious mind a wondrous thing?

Oh and Bibi I can play a very antisocial musical instrument very badly. We could have a virtual band night perhaps?

I am a cow - I confess I tittered at the chopped up chipolatas NoNames :)

Shabby chic doesn't matter atm - at least it's all YOUR chic!!

Won't take long for you to be able to afford shiny new things I'm sure :)

Intrigued as to the antisocial instrument now - is it the drums? Oh, no wait - the trumpet?

I laughed at the chipolatas too Bibi once I was properly awake and the panic had died down. How Freudian was that? The only man in my house now is my lovely DS.

The unmentionable musical instrument (which would out me to my friends if they are mumsnetters) is one played by tramps outside Marks and Spencer. And French people

Dreams are bizarre aren't they. I keep having dreams lately where the Cap'n is being very nice to me (not in that way!)

Yet while we were together every dream I had that featured him would see him behaving like a total pig and I'd wake up a bit upset sometimes.

There, god forbid I should miss a chance to wrench the conversation back to me me me me

Well, the tramps round here don't make an effort anymore, just hold out their grubby hands - tsk!

Is it the accordion (sp?) ? You can't say though can you as that would out you, sorry.

Guitar??