It's all about......ME! :)

[BibiBlocksberg]

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

.

I took my older two children to a friend's house yesterday. All the kids decided to have a disco and dragged me and my friend upstairs to see. Naturally, we started dancing (who could resist?) and after a minute turned round to five still, silent children.

They were looking at us like this:

I think I need more practice before I join dance club.....

Well done for taking action about the moped - I know you had been dreading it. I can see why, now! Just imagine how much worse the Cap'n could have got as he got older. It sounds like he has already reached his father's standard!

nora at the kids expressions!!

What do they know anyway, they're the ones doing it all wrong :) :)

I always used to think the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree with the cap'n and his father.

Both as miserable as sin in their outlook on life with a general dislike of women thrown in where his father is concerned. I'm much better off out of it, am beginning to see that now.

P.S - dance club is for practicing away from the prying eyes of the 'professionals' so no excuses!!

nora you made me laugh!

dance club is not for experts it is for exuberant but inept enthusiasts. But remember the first rule applies

Bibi you are a star. Maybe you can just chill over the moped till April. Do you need the cash urgently?

I have paid my deposit on the bungalow and negotiated leaving my little house a month early. My landlady is having her fifth baby in four weeks so it suits her to get things sorted out quickly. Hooray!

"Do you need the cash urgently?"

Well, I wanted it sorted that's all. As it is I'm still beholding to the cap'n because I still have 'his' car.

We've each paid half of the expense for it now (insurance, mot, tax) so I'm entitled to get my money's worth from it. Plus it's essential for me to get to work.

However, I don't want to get to the end of 2011 for him to ask for it back and then tell me that I'm liable for aother MOT etc because I've caused the wear and tear on it.

Would rather sort out my own transport asap but my hands are tied now for a week since the tardy key loser is away on holiday for a week.

Great news about the bungalow and well done for getting the deposit together!!!

Housewarming at NoNames with wine and dancing soon then!!??

Housewarming definitely on! Wine and dancing definitely.

When I moved into my current bolthole I was too apologetic and upset to have a housewarming. Also there is only one room so it would have been a queue with one in one out! The new house will be ample for a proper party.

One of the many reasons for moving there!

One room? God lord you must be delirious with joy of getting more space then!!

One in, one out lol!!

What a feeling, when we're dancing on NoNames ceiling.....

Sorry, feeling very silly tonight, probably because someone started me off in chat with a 'come and be silly' thread.

Am currently sharing details of my childhood cow phobia so do pop in - it's riveting

Hello everyone. Just checking in to say hi. Am having a big wobble about things with ex-P so please tell me nice things about being single, again?

Well, how long have you got Elephants?

Let me see:

*No creeping around in the morning getting dressed in the bathroom and drying hair in the kitchen in a tiny mirror.

It's all me me me now - lights ablaze, music on, hairdryer going - not a care in the world.

*When I clean anything it stays that way three times as long cutting down on the boring need to do it again the next day because Mr 'I live here too' has messed it all up again.

*Don't feel like having a 'proper' dinner? Don't have one!! No one there to whine and whinge because plates aren't piled to the top with meat, vegetables etc.

*You don't have to ask anyone if you feel like taking off for a day, a week a month even.

*The television remote control is all yours. No crying and whining even if you do want to watch a wife swap marathon.

*No snoring coming from the other side of the bed!!!!

Well, they're the ones I can think right now but give me time :)

Sorry to hear you're wobbling. I'm guessing you didn't make the decision to split lightly so time for a review of the why's maybe?

You only have to do your washing. And you can hang it out properly by yourself without some other bastard either moaning about your weird habits or insisting on doing it but not spreading anything our or shaking it properly.

I accept that this might be quite specific to me though.....

But - no one uses all the loo roll and then leaves the empty roll sitting there.

No unpaid secretarial work.

No going to the fridge to make supper from the leftovers and discovering they have disappeared.

Chin up, lovely.

And, you can just not put the TV on at all, without someone coming in on autopilot and switching it on and FLICKING until they find the least bad thing.

Yes to music while dressing Bibi
Yes to indulging my laundry foibles nora
Yes to keeping delicious treats in fridge and they are STILL THERE!

Also I can have all my bookshelves in the living room, choose the duvet cover I like, and leave the washing up in the sink without being nagged. Oh and read in bed as long as I want!

Elephants you know it makes sense!

Forgot about the washing bloomingnora - I've always awarded myself an A++ for getting the stuff washed and hung out no matter if it was a bit slap dash. So long as it doesn't smell when it's dry, who cares how it arrived at dry? :)

Used to get moaned at for that until I left the washing mostly to him. Then I was lazy of course

The whole cleaning and tidying lark barely registers on my radar now as I just do it without even thinking about it. Used to be a real pita exhausting task to complete when there's a second persons dirt and mess to clean up as well.

Oh and I don't miss the smoking and me constantly asking him to shut the bloody door as the lounge was getting cold.

Mmh, where is Elephants I wonder, haven't seen her since her post confessing her wobble, hope she's feeling better now!!

Hello been out doing a few things, and going to the gym

Thanks SO much for all the reminders - you are all right, of course.

All of those are great reasons but my favourite is READING IN BED FOR AS LONG AS I LIKE!!!! I have read so much more since we split than for months before.

Can I add - getting up and doing things when you want to do them, not having to hang around waiting because "he's tired" and absolutely requires to sleep in til noon at least andthenexpectssex.

Oooh, very virtous, the gym no less at your get up and go :)

Hanging around waiting - yep, was very familiar with that. Mine never used to surface until 2pm, later on a sunday. Unless the Formula 1 was on then he was happy to get up at whatever time that required.

Arse..... [angry}

I'm loving this, very theraputic - am glad to discover that the things I imagined I'd really enjoy being rid of ARE the things i'm really glad to be rid of

Damn brackets!!

Bibi - I have told a MNter to read your It's all about him thread and then this one. She is with a knob end and needs to see how good life can be.

Why thank you for reommending my boring life for wider consumption.

Only joking of course, atm I could not be happier just being me.

It'll take a good few years just to complete the voyage of discovery to find out what Bibi likes and wants and needs.

I calculated that since I was 18 I've only ever had 7mths by myself. Think that's quite enough - time to be shellfish :)

I don't know why but that just made me feel sad. Don't want to think about how little time I might have had between relationships. Heartache is a bugger.

That is sad. I think everyone should get the chance to live on their own for a year or two to discover what they are really like. I did it with no telly and no phone and it was bliss! I was bloody desperate for a man, mind....

You have to remember that I am not single and am merely listing the annoying things that DH does to stop myself punching him as a form of therapy

I only had 3-4 weeks between my ex and meeting my now DH. Didn't plan that at all.

"I only had 3-4 weeks between my ex and meeting my now DH. Didn't plan that at all"

That's usually how it happens though you're not looking, happy as you are then Mr Right shows up.

Not that I'd know mind, just something I've heard :)

Really glad that I'm not fussed about finding another man asap this time around though (largely thanks to what I learned on MN)

:)

Hi all

Today I went to look at furniture for my new bungalow and how weird that was. My DH had very strong opinions, was deeply against fitted furniture and pro pine. I realised I don't actually know what I like.

I think I may go for charity shop/recycled chic until I can afford some really fab Ercol.

Will also make my own curtains

Am really enjoying the idea of a whole house just how I want it!!

Glad our ramblings are useful to somebody. Just don't watch the dancing

"Just don't watch the dancing"

Sorry, but I WILL be recording the Dance Club sessions for the rest of MN to admire

How amazing that you will have a whole house to decorate the way YOU want.

Can relate to not knowing what you like and strong opinons from the other party.

Had exactly the same thing with the capn. That's one of the things I won't put up with again, the whole carping on about what their views and likes and dislikes are and never once stopping to ask 'what do you like bibi, no names etc?'

:)

Heartache is verily a bugger, Fab, that is true enough. Have been fine fine fine since the breakup, but am still at that stage where having to talk about/think about anything good whatsoever about our relationship brings tears to my eyes. Gah.

But thanks to all of you lovely lot I am so happy to be about to go to bed and read ( as late as I want!) and then get up nice and early. Hoorah.

How're the cats Bibi? (CATS! DOWN!)