It's all about......ME! :)

[BibiBlocksberg]

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

Thanks guys...

NoNames can I just clarify - did he invent the coin dislodging device actually while choking??? ???

Or after and then blow me down it happened again and he saved his own life?

Actually I was thinking the exact same thing about the coin machine Katisha :)

Off to bed now, sleep well everyone.

He was demonstrating a trick with a coin to his children when he choked on it. It must have got lodged in his throat but he could still breathe. He devised a pincer like tool to try to extract it but when that failed, he was strapped to a board and turned upside down until the coin fell out again.

Night all

Aah Mumsnet...

Where else eh?

So is it Wine Club tonight Bibi?

I fancy a selection of big Chilean reds. What would you like to try?

Sorry no names, it's cinema club for me tonight :)

Off to see the kings speech with a work mate in a minute. Really looking forward to it since the reviews have all been pretty good for it.

Plus we got half price orange Wednesday tickets so can afford popcorn too

God you can tell I haven't been out much lately can't you :)

Keep me a glass of red by for later please?

You go, girl! I like that you don't need us so much any more. But I do miss you

Great stuff RL fun is much better for you than virtual wine tasting! Have fun

"You go, girl! I like that you don't need us so much any more. But I do miss you"

It's not true, I still neeeeeed every single one of my supporters!! One social engagement does not a life make

The film was absolutely magnicificent - strange word I know but can't really find a single word that describes just how wonderful it was.

We had pretty awful seats (on account of the cheapskating) and it didn't matter a jot, that's how good it was.

In fact, I HAVE to see it again and soon. The acting, the story, the emotion, the warmth, the sheer marvellousness of it all, dahlings :)

Aaah, just what the doctor ordered that was.

That and being able to gush about it here.

I'll shut up now, hope you all had a great evening.

magnicificent! sounds like you have downed that glass already

Glad you had a good time. My theatre trip was fab too even though we had last minute pillar restricted view seats.

I think you should aim to do one new thing every week that you have never tried before.

Night all

Forgot your theatre trip was today NoNames - glad you had a good time despite the pillar view!

New thing every week sounds good. Was just sat thinking it was nice not to have to worry about the cap'n someone else being miserable tonight.

Nice novelty, makes me realise how much I used to have to think ahead and try and 'manage' conditions when we got to wherever I'd organised for us to go so he wouldn't moan and have a face on him like a slapped arse :)

Think I'll be very zen and sociable by this time next year :)

Glad you've both been out having fun :)

I was at Going to the Pub Club last night. but I got asked out to see the King's Speech and couldn't go. Damn. Really looking forward to seeing it though.

Love the thought of all the things you don't have to worry about any more, Bibi. Next time, remember to ditch anyone with a tendency to slapped-arse-face within seconds weeks. just not worth the bother. You might have sulky toddlers one day so why hang around with a big hairy one now?

Am still making the list of positives. And have started a new "shopping list" - now where's that thread gone?

Hi Elephants, have been wondering how you are, so glad to hear from you. That shopping list thread was very good, I've been meaning to post some more on there.

Will remember to ditch anyone immediately who displays symptoms of giant hairy 'toddleritis' :)

It's only now that I'm getting the benefit of hindsight that I can see how much hard work organising anything with and for the giant toddler I've just got shot of was.

Didn't ever want to go anywhere of his own accord but if I was organising somewhere for both of us to go all these 'criteria' would have to be met. E.g oh, my legs are too long for the cinema so can't go unless I have an Isle seat. Film musn't be too boring or girly, Popcorn? Are you MAD??

And on and on and on. Yet while I was in the middle of it I was convinced that if I could only meet all of his ridiculous requirements then we'd have a nice time.

Sorry for the lenght of this again, just been having a few insights over the last couple of days and want to get them captured for later re-reading :)

Also occured to me yesterday that all of my running around, overthinking and mummying over HIS everyday needs/tasks/issues was probably an attempt to feel like we were in a proper relationship together. He was that distant and uncommunicative that I just got on and did it all.

All the things which in a normal grown up caring relationship happen anyway but are reciprocated there and not just taken with a huge sense of entitlement.

Knowledge is power :)

Yeah thing is some people (and I'm inlcuding myself here) have a tendency to stretch out to fill the gaps the other person is leaving in a relationship. So if they're acting uncaring, you act more caring. Does that make much sense?

Thanks for wondering, I am a bit sad but excited in a weird way. Not letting myself dwell on the good stuff we had.

My cunning plan is to be even more picky next time. If anyone's interested (I know you're not, bless you, but I should write them down somewhere) then my new criteria include:

• good broad shoulders
• not oversensitive (about being called e.g. "you silly sod" in a fond way IYSWIM - ex used to freak out about this)
• not jealous of exes

Yes that sounds right Elephants about stretching to fill the gaps and acting more than the other person gives.

Course we're interested in your criteria. All of us new singletons ought to work on our own lists on a daily basis - by law :)

Ok, from now on, Tuesday night can be singles club with 'picky list making night' as one of the first activities.

I have to go to bed now, my kitties have been waking me up at stupid hours the last three nights and I'm exhausted.

Still, it'll be Friday in half an hours time

Good thinking Bibi

1. Picky list making
2. Savoury nibbles
3. Light dancing
4. Chilli
5. Wine
6. Fantasy Snog/Marry/Kill with male slebs
7. More wine
8. Sleep

See you Tuesday then?

I think any list I make will be so picky no mere man will ever qualify for the privilege of my attention.

I have been reading "Wifework" by Susan Maushart which was recommended on another thread and it is brilliant.

"Becoming a wife will erode your mental health, reduce your leisure, decimate your libido, and increase the odds that you will be physically assaulted or murdered in your own home. Is it any wonder that increasing numbers of single women are happy to stay that way?"

Very thought provoking and entertaining. By chapter 4 the author has admitted to 2 failed marriages but I think she has more to come!

- that list is funny Elephants, light dancing and fantasy snog, marry, kill w. male slebs :)

I've got Wifework and have read it NoNames. There's a lot of truth in that book imo.

Thank god for the feminism section on MN - without that I'd never have been led to such enlightening titles!!

I totally fail to understand why you cat people let them wake you up all night!! My friend up the road does it as well...

I find it pretty intolerable when actual children do it - DS1 is keeping us awake with constant coughing at night at the moment, roll on end of catarrh...

Can't you just shove 'em outside to do whatever cats do all night?

I went to a late Xmas do last night and tried out wii Dance on Broadway. I was rubbish! I need to do some secret training so I can wow them next time. Fun though.

How are things Bibi? No moping I hope?

No moping here NoNames. Bit fuming atm as the capn's father just phoned to say he can't find the key to the garage that my bike is kept in (his friend and neighbour) and I will have to wait until April now.

The friend and neighbour is abroad until then. Asked him if he has no way of contacting him to find out if there's a spare anywhere all I got was, well, I could e-mail him but it'd be too embarassing to admit I've lost the key. grrrrrrrrrrr.

I'll keep looking though, bye then. And he'd put the phone down on me. Knowing him that'll be the last I hear until April now if I leave it.

Sorry, bit of a rant there. Just pees me off since it's exactly the same as the Capn - I've messed up but won't do anything about type attitude which always used to force me into taking action with the Cap'n.

That was a late Christmas do you went to NoNames - glad you enjoyed it and got some training in for dance club :)

Locksmith?

I was thinking about you today and wondering how you was doing and felt I had been rubbish I had not kept up with how you were doing.

Yes I've felt very neglected FabNow (joking) :)

I've already researched the garage key subject on the Internet. It seems replacing the lock is the best way forward and not that expensive.

It just makes me so mad - yet again it's up to me to figure out what to do. For someone elses fuck up. more than likely would end up having to pay for the new lock as well as his father will just be happy to wait.

The men in that family are about as much use as a chocolate fire guard :(

Be even more thankful you got rid.

:) I AM!! Strangely I am starting to like myself a lot more than I have for years as well.

Enjoying having my own space too, doing exactly what I want to. Blissful :)