It's all about......ME! :)

[BibiBlocksberg]

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

4th Wed - historical buildings/palaces. Discuss your favourites :) :)

Dance Club, I like it. 'Come and dance around my lounge like a possessed lunatic every 3rd Wednesday of the month'

I like it :)

That would probably happen on the second Wednesday as well...

ROFL!!

That just reminded me of the cats faces when I was 'dooin me dancin' this weekend.

Pure incredulity :) :)

I want to come to dance club!

Hey Elephants, I had no idea you'd recently joined the singles brigade

It's ok, even the happily attached can come to Dance Club.

You do all know the first rule of dance club though I hope?

..I know that's been done to death but I love it :)

yes, lock up your sons England, I'm single

go on then - what's the ruke?

ruLe?

"yes, lock up your sons England, I'm single"

Is that a recent thing then?

"ruLe?"

Yes, don't talk about Dance Club

Horrifyingly recent, yes. Och well, tomorrow is another day etc etc.

Bibi! You talked about it! So, when does The Club meet?

"Horrifyingly recent, yes. Och well, tomorrow is another day etc etc."

There's me going on and on and on about my 'problems' and there's you very recently split up and you haven't said a word.

We're all different in the way we deal with things but if you want to elaborate on the details I for one would certainly only be too glad to listen!

Just wanted to say that!!

Dance Club meeting every third Wednesday of the month. Bring comfortable clothing and footwear and jump around like no ones watching

Might start that as a 'virtual' club on here actually :)

Hi all

Welcome elephants... this thread is rapidly becoming the opposite of the Dumplings support thread. If you know you are better off single then you are! Easy to say but hard to do. But we can do it!

Katisha what is your situation? You are a great poster but don't give away much.

Bibi my ex is 80% jovial and 20% twat but with a hint of controlling and sinister. Most of my friends and family think I have taken leave of my senses, but hey they are MY senses (and my DH) to leave if I want to!

I spent today helping my friend move house. Six car loads in the rain and we got her bed assembled. Back in the morning to deliver breakfast and we will fetch the kitchen stuff.

I have bought the wii Dance in Broadway game. Just need to nick the wii off my DC and I'm up and running! 3rd wednesday would be 19th by my reckoning Bibi.

And if it's a virtual club then no-one will be watching. Wahoo! I am a terrible but enthusiastic dancer.

Ha thanks Bibi but there's no exciting story unfortunately. I am just trying to concentrate on the positives of being single again. For instance, ex has a downright silly surname, so any future children I now have will be free from the threat of that. :o

Hi, went off to bed fairly early yesterday so missed the last posts.

"Bibi my ex is 80% jovial and 20% twat but with a hint of controlling and sinister"

:) that sounds like a strange recipe idea - a hint of controlling and sinister. Sorry to find the strangest funny, me!

I used to quote the 80/20 split with the ex before the recent ex actually. With hindsight though I can see the bad stuff took up a lot more than 20%.

You'll have to let me know what that Broadway dancing game is like. I looked at it but wasn't sure I was cut out for high kicks and hat twirling

"ex has a downright silly surname, so any future children I now have will be free from the threat of that"

I admire your ability to see the positives Elephants :)

Bibi I saw on another thread that you are in the rural SW. Same here.

Does your nearest city have a cathedral?

Well, I'm probably not as rural as I like to think I am.

Get a bit keen when I hear South West mentioned.

No nearest city doesn't have a cathedral (do you mean Salisbury?)

I'm nearer the coast - the town that is usually pre-fixed with 'sunny' :)

Cities with cathedrals: Truro and Exeter and Wells!
City without cathedral: Plymouth

We like to mock the Janners for their lack of a spire. Lame really.

Well I've ONLY lived around this area for 17 years.

Understandable that I wouldn't have the first clue about cathedral cities. Although I'm very good with the cheese Cathedral City

NoNames, you're right, I don't give much personal stuff out on MN really, but I am married with 2 DSS and all is well!

But I started to get involved with relationship threads a couple of years back as a member of my immediate family (not me, am not playing games about this) had been involved for a very long time with a man who eventually we came to understand was a classic narcissist. The effect on my wider family was quite devastating in some ways, and it took her a couple of goes to finally call time on it - after 13 yrs in fact.

All the usual excuses - company, the good times were good, maybe it was all her fault when he went doolally, etc etc. But eventually he pushed it too far. I thought it would be a messy and difficult end as he was such a manipulator and liar (although actually believed his own version of events) but actually he seemed to realise the game was finally up. And she found someone else, which probably stopped him trying to crawl back...

So the upshot is that I get quite worked up when I read about or come across women sacrificing their lives to some tosser whose version of reality comes to dominate everything. And now I know about narcissism I can see it all over the place, in varying degrees of madness, and it's been quite an eye opener.

I have learnt two things : a) they believe their own version of reality so you can't reason with them and b) you can't change them, but only the way you let them affect you.

So although the Cap'n was not a narcissist, I still feel compelled to chip in on threads where the OP seems to be having trouble seeing the wood for the trees! And is why I am so pleased that BiBi has!

Phew - end of essay!

"I get quite worked up when I read about or come across women sacrificing their lives to some tosser"

Katisha, you are fab. I imagine you with a cape on, righting relationship wrongs! You do good work

How are things going Bibi? Another good place for a day out with many historical places of interest is Bristol. Just thought I'd mention it as a good destination for a trip It is also located in the SW and has a bloody lovely cathedral.....

Katisha I think you are fab too.

Bibi if you want to do a homage to Isambard Kingdom Brunel I am happy to accompany you. My DS flinched at the prospect, can't think why!

There is the Great Western Railway up from glorious Devon with Temple Meads station, then the SS Great Britain and the Clifton Suspension Bridge.

My secret vice is famous civil engineers and their works. Brunel, Telford, Stevenson anyone?

Did you know that when Brunel choked on a coin he invented a device to dislodge it and saved his own life.

I know I'm not a girly girl but I am very useful!

Damn you Jamie Oliver and your tasty recipes. If only I could cook the in 30 mins all would be fine. Had a real craving for one of his pasta recipes.

Literally just finished eating and clearing up now. House stinks of garlic but was all worth it

Thank you for the elaboration katisha I have often wondered what drives you to give all of your insigtful responses on my thread(s) and elsewhere on MN.

Am happy to be able to report that I'm starting to feel much stronger now, Nora. Can see just what a child the cap'n really was.

Think his visit a couple of days ago helped to crystalise that as well.

Long may this clarity continue :)

Hooray!

Well done Bibi. You are an inspiration!

Sorry, missed your very informative post on Mr Brunel.

Never knew that about the coin, love the fact he invented a do it yourself 'heimlich' machine!

That's another reason I love MN - full of women who are interested in more than shopping for clothes, make-up and losing weight!!!!

Can't keep up tonight :) not sure about inspiration nonames but thank you anyway.

So weird how I lived with a manchild for so long and was unhappy but couldn't clearly seen what was happening anymore until I had my eyes opened here.

Did a fair bit of mooning over him over Christmas etc but not anymore. Still get a bit lonely some evenings but i don't want the captain to fill that void anymore.