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Original poster

It's all about......ME! :)

661 replies

BibiBlocksberg · 06/12/2010 07:25

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title Xmas Grin

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/01/2011 18:51

aww boo hoo

Katisha · 08/01/2011 20:08

GOne yet?

bloomingnora · 08/01/2011 20:49

Perhaps the telescope will help him when he is rummaging for his 'bits' Grin

Play in the wii while he is there, and ring mates and chat happily and DANCE and SING. In your face, Captain Soz.

bloomingnora · 08/01/2011 20:50

FFS, play ON the wii. First thing I've said for ages and I mistype it.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 08/01/2011 21:03

Hello, yep he's gone. Had to run out to the supermarket (in case you were thinking he'd only just gone)

God he's exhausting, telling the cats he's missed them and moaning about his small room and tv. So, what you're saying is, you miss the cats and your home comforts but nothihg apart from that.

Twat - didn't ask me about my christmas, new year anything really. Apparently he's been very ill with stress - stomach cramps and the like, can't sleep etc.

Then he said - but you don't want to hear about any of that, do you?

Nope, definetely not I said to which he looked crestfallen. FFS.....

Oh and apparently he's feeling quite angry at the moment.

Do you want me to groom the cat? No, I want you to leave grrrrrrr.

Bored with thinking about him now tbh.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/01/2011 21:05

bored (with him) is good

now what kind of dancer are you ?

a good one, or a crap one ?

bloomingnora · 08/01/2011 21:06

He offered to groom your pussy?

Katisha · 08/01/2011 21:10

He's feeling angry.
Well good. About time he felt something...
Perhaps it'll spur him on to stop coasting and sponging off people..you...his mum...

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 08/01/2011 21:26

"He offered to groom your pussy?"

Grin ROFL! Didn't think of it like that!

Pretty crap dancer AF but it's fun trying nevertheless.

"Perhaps it'll spur him on to stop coasting and sponging off people..you...his mum..."

Somehow I doubt it Katisha but at least that's not my problem anymore. Phew!

OP posts:
NoNamesNoPackDrill · 09/01/2011 10:15

Morning Bibi - not quite dawn patrol here

How was your evening? Have you got plans for today? Hope you didn't miss the Cap'n after his visit.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 09/01/2011 11:21

Hi nonames, yes got a rough plan sketched out for today and the sun is out here for a change :)

Funny you should mention missing the captain after his visit.

It was certainly strange and shone a light on my day to day isolation. It felt good to have the company and of course it's all familiar talking to him.

Was a bit pissed off too since I'd been doing really well before his appearance and then spent ages re-reading old thread and reminding myself he is a child in mans clothing :(

Hope you had a nice evening! :)

OP posts:
NoNamesNoPackDrill · 09/01/2011 22:14

Hi Bibi

Keep reading your thread. You are well rid of the moaner.

I had a lovely day at the theatre with nieces and DB and his wife.

Now I am fuming at H who is sabotaging my attempts to build a separate social life by visiting MY friends and being oh so lovely to them with flowers and kindness. And he is intercepting party invites from my friends who don't know we have split up and is insisting he will go to the parties.

Grrr. I may have to grow a whole new set of friends if he can't see that he is being stalkery and weird.
Angry

Please someone take him off my hands he is rich and generous and quite presentable.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 09/01/2011 22:22

"Grrr. I may have to grow a whole new set of friends if he can't see that he is being stalkery and weird."

Sounds like that might be a good idea in the short term at least. No sense in letting it make you mad which sounds like it's what his aim is with this behavious anyway.

Glad you had a good time at the theatre! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 09/01/2011 22:22

'behaviour' I meant.

OP posts:
Katisha · 09/01/2011 22:35

Nonames - he's taking flowers to your friends??

That is deeply weird.

Perhaps you'd better let everyone know the situation.

NoNamesNoPackDrill · 09/01/2011 22:44

Friend is starting cancer treatment tomorrow so I arranged to see her tonight and cancelled seeing H and DC. He rushed round with flowers before I got there.

It is weird and unsettling and part of the mindfuck stuff he does.

Most of our friends know we have split but we live in small village and can't help sharing the space. I need to stay near for DC at the moment.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 09/01/2011 22:52

Sorry to hear about your friend. Just wanted to add that most people aren't daft and will see his 'rushing with flowers' for what it is.

Those that don't/can't see it or stop wanting to be friendly with you were never proper friends anyway.

OP posts:
Katisha · 09/01/2011 22:55

Well if he is determined to make people choose sides, you will probably lose some of them, unfortunately...

As you say - develop some new ones as well.

NoNamesNoPackDrill · 09/01/2011 23:01

What have your friends said Bibi? Do you have many joint ones? Will you have to cope with the Cap'n at social events? or does his social life involve him and the imaginary killing?

(I think my H just doesn't want anyone to think he is not a lovely kind thoughtful guy. Therefore I must be mad to leave him)

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 09/01/2011 23:14

No, both of us were and are complete and utter sad sacks. I don't have any proper RL friends (people I occasionally meet up with only)

Friends of the capn's were mainly tied to the cannabis and only ever used to crop up when a supply situation reared it's head.

Sick of just talking to people at work atm. Talk talking I mean (out loud :) ) rather than typing on here I mean.

"my H just doesn't want anyone to think he is not a lovely kind thoughtful guy. Therefore I must be mad to leave him"

Mmh, I know that type too. Utterly irritating. Still maintain that people can see right through that though.

The ex before the current ex was like that. Mr Jovial in public and an utter twat behind closed doors (not saying your's is by the way)

Just trying to say that I was convinced everyone would hate me when we split. In fact the opposite was true - people/friends knew exactly what he was and kept saying they had no idea how I'd managed to stick with him for so long.

You might find that to be the case for you as well? :)

OP posts:
Katisha · 09/01/2011 23:24

Yes but Bibi you had got into a right old rut with him hadn't you? You didn't need to make any other friends because there was always someone sitting there, even if not actively communicating.

It's a shock to the system but I reckon you will find RL friends now because you want to.

ANy book clubs round your way? I joined one (well semi-started it) a few years ago and have made one or two good local friends from it. Otherwise everyone else I was friendly with was at work.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 09/01/2011 23:31

Thanks Katisha, I know I shouldn't still be a sad sack about these things but it helps to say it out loud (as it were :) )

I sent an e-mail to the organiser of the local book club advertised on meet up.com but heard nothing back. Noticed the status has changed to ' this group is not accepting any more new members now'

Oh well, maybe it's time I started up my own. Have always been a massive book worm anyway so sitting discussing a book of an evening would be right up my street.

OP posts:
Katisha · 10/01/2011 09:45

Yeah the first book club I tried to join never bothered to reply either. They can get quite cliquey I think.

Have you got a bookshop in town which might know of any others? The library might as well.And if not - yes leave a notice up about starting a new one perhaps.

I have to say ours hardly spends any time talking about the actual book, and gets stuck into wine and general gossip. Frustrating at times, especially when people start banging on about their children, as part of the point was to NOT to go on about kids. But its still generally fun.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 10/01/2011 09:56

Grin - I sometimes think Book Club is a more accepted form of saying 'come to my house and have a glass of wine and a chat'

I mean, it always feels more acceptable to put 'join my bookgroup' rather than saying 'I'm trying to make some friends, would you like to come to my place every first wednesday of the month'

Maybe that's just me though :)

Oh, good news this am - I've won the internal lottery scheme we have at work (£49 but still)

That means I can bring my Hampton Court Palace trip forward a bit. Give me something to plan and look forward to :)

OP posts:
Katisha · 10/01/2011 10:00

Congrats on the win!

Oh yes, our bookclub is essentially a social group! Although I have a friend in another one which sounds terribly serious - they really take the set text awfully seriously.

OK - so chez Bibi :
1st Wed : Book club
2nd Wed : Wine club
3rd Wed : Dance club
4th Wed : er...