It's all about......ME! :)

[BibiBlocksberg]

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

Hey Bibi you know you have to write that list down in real ink, don't you? And keep it somewhere visible about the house?

- just had to go back a page. Thought I'd clicked on the wrong thread for a minute with all the kissing :)

I wouldn't normally put any weight on my dreams because most of them are just bizarre crap but every now and then something crops up I can use/recognise.

The list??? Real Ink Elephants?? Visible about the house???

Not sure I can do that yet, what if someone comes round unannounced? They'll think I've gone loopy :) :)

Off out again to buy yet more Cat food.....my life is a roller coaster :)

Just got in from the estate agent. It's official I am moving into the luxury bungalow with sunset views on Feb 1st.

I don't know why I feel so guilty about it. I deserve a nice home with room for the DC to stay, and we can afford the rent. Just need to screw up my courage to tell DH about it. I don't want him to be upset.

Bibi how about writing the list out and putting it somewhere only you can see, like in your knicker drawer?

I am convinced that firstly I am unfit ever to have a relationship with an adult male again, and second that there simply isn't anyone good enough for me! All the men I know round here that are single spend their free time in the pubs.

Best to stay celibate and concentrate on the nice little garden I will have

Just caught this on my eay out of the door -

Woop Woop for the Bungalow NoNames!!!

Well done, now just one more push (to tell DH) and then you'll be all set.

Think its inevitable he'll be upset though (sorry for being negative there)

Sending you 'strenghtening' thoughts in that regard.

Someone on my other thread told me to just go for it - like ripping off a plaster. Perhaps you should do the same now you've got the ball rolling?

I'll join you in the celibacy club for a good while btw!!

Got to run, back later.

way out the door not eay....it's because I type faster than the speed of light

Oh good NoNames :)

Bibi - inside of bedroom door or somewhere only the close friends would go! Wasn't thinking of nailing it over the doorbell on outside, although might sort the sheep from the goats! :o

Nothing useful to add but this was about to drop off my "threads I'm on".

Glad to hear about the bungalow NoNames.

Thanks folks. I told DH and he was a bit upset but so was I because I don't like hurting him. Anyway it is done now.

Loving the idea of putting the list over the doorbell. Like the "No hawkers no circulars" notices.

"No losers no selfish people no short arses etc
Miss Blocksburg expects better"

Just checking no Friday night glooming is going on

BTW way Bibi I noticed that someone had found your thread v helpful on another thread about a useless DH.

Hi all,

Thanks for the doom patrol i really appreciate it.

While you were patrolling i was busy dancing around my living room

I got it into my head that I wanted a nintendo wii so that I could play the dancing game and others.

I already had a DS so managed to do a swap/trade-in without it costing me a penny. Feel a bit embarrassed telling you all since one of my main gripes was the cap'n constantly playing games.

Then again I don't sit on the console all day every day making out I'm taking care of serious business

Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it :) mind you I've already lined up a dance party with copious amounts of wine and nibbles so it's good for my social life as well

Hey Bibi you don't need to justify yourself to anyone. That is the joy of being single!

Your wii sounds fun - maybe I should liberate the one my kids dont use. That would surprise them.

Have you got a plan for tonight?

I am trying to take my nieces to a play but the box office has put me on hold for a million years...

Actually I am feeling a bit low after a counselling session when I realised I am crap at talking about difficult things and always take the blame/everybody else's misery/soak up the hurt feelings. I think I am doomed to always be dysfunctional and bad at close relationships. Aargh. Denial was much easier to live with.

Sorry. Having a whinge. On with the dancing. Oh and just got through and bought tckets. Hooray!

Hi NoNames, glad you got the tickets - going to the theatre is something i want to start doing as I have a feeling I'd like it.

Sorry you're feeling a bit down. I remember absolutely hating having to talk about myself in counselling. It's a weird feeling isn't it?

Having said that, I am exactly the same when it comes to 'soaking up' others emotions. That why I find it so hard when someone else is angry, grumpy, sad etc cos I always feel I'm the cause of it.

I really really don't think you should be blaming yourself for how you think/feel and calling yourself dysfunctional.

The people and circumstances in your past have a big responsibility in that regard imo. Personally I get angry at the amount of self centred people only interested in their own selfish needs that I was raised/surrounded by when growing up.

I used to beat myself up as well but now I choose to believe that my ability to care about someone else and anticipate their needs is a special gift.

Just need to learn to use that ability to care for myself more than I have in the past and guard against giving it away to others way too cheaply.

Sorry for the essay there, couldn't help myself when I saw you blaming yourself!

Ps. - I have learnt a lot more stuff about myself and things relevant to the way my life was MN than I did from my counsellor :)

< quick wave to bibi >

still lurking and keeping my eye on you

Thanks Bibi

I agree about the power of MN to teach us how to value ourselves and how to treat others and expect to be treated.

And the jokes! (Loving the thread in Chat about the Oh Fuck Ruck Sacks)

AF are you going to do the afternoon shift? I am off to the football. Up the City!

gotta go out...teenage dd needs something to wear other than black leggings with holes in 'em

laters x

Arf! Missed your flying visit AF - nice to see you :)

Am off myself now, got dancing to do you know

Gawd almighty, he's coming over in 20 mins to pick up some more of his things.

Sounded about as shitty as it's possible to sound. NOT looking forward to this (using this face cos it symolises OMG for me)

Wish me luck :)

Good luck. (Belated)

How did it go?

He's still here katisha. rooting around for his bits huffing and puffing. :(

Has he bothered to enquire about your Christmas or anything?

Just ignore him and if he leaves anything else you really need to pack it all up in bags so he has no reason to be nosing around. You really should have done that already.

You okay Bibi?

has he gone ?

Nope still here - packing up his telescope and moaning about living at his mothers