It's all about......ME! :)

[BibiBlocksberg]

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

Ring him and say Happy New Year and that you appreciate that he probably wants shot of the moped and that your plan is to advertise it this week. Ask if he minds you going and taking a current photo. If he sounds ok with this then ask if he minds if you get it picked up from his place when it's sold. Use the figure you have in your head for the advert. If no interest, go lower. Simples. Do it now and report back!

I overthink myself into procrastination all the time, hence my house is unfinished everywhere

Mmh, yes perhaps that would be the best sequence of events.

He's hardly ever home though so a bit of a logistical nightmare.

Oh well, won't get done by thinking about it (shame :) )

Can you check on Autotrader website to see what similar bikes are going for?

How far away is this garage?

I would normally Katisha but this is a bit of a specialised area.

There's only about 10 of my kind of bike left in the country and the other nine are owned by enthusiasts of the subject/genre.

Fortunately I know the Internet lair of some of these 'enthusiasts'

HMmm can you get them to bid for it on eBay? WOuld that get more dosh do you think? Or could it backfire?

Yes I could put it on e-bay but me and e-bay do not get on.

The few times I've tried to sell something on there have been a total nightmare plus I don't understand their fee structure at all.

Am no dimbo but feel like I need an e-bay degree to work it all out.

I wonder if there's any e-bay selling experts on MN?

No I have never sold anything on eBay - wouldnt know where to start.
Is ex's father's garaga a long way off? But a man and a van probably wouldn't cost too much. Or even a self drive van for half a day.

A self drive van is what I was thinking of.

£35 from my locl u-drive. Still can't afford that.

Came home to an unexpected £80 bill yesterday so the council tax reprieve has been totally nullified now.

That's the most terrifying thing about single life at the moment, the unexpected bills and potential disasters and no-one to turn to to say 'I need £.....til payday'

Eeeek

..local u-drive that should be of course

You need to start a rainy day fund (hope not teaching grandmother to suck eggs.)
The Martin Lewis moneysavingexpert website has lots of good tips on moneysaving wheezes,budgeting etc.

Don't suppose there's any chance that ex's father would volunteer to bring the bike over?

He might agree to bring it over here. I just so hate having to ask anyone for anything.

Especially in a situation such as this one.

Yep def. need to acquire a rainy day fund, trouble with those is you need some spare funds to go in them.

Thank you for all your practical ideas by the way!!

Two things -

If you don't ask, you don't get.

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.

Is this apropos of anything in particular happening today?

Katisha I think it was because Bibi said "I just so hate to ask anyone for anything".

Bibi how has the weekend been? Have you got out and about or just lurked on MN?

Oh yes sorry - I read it as if bibi had posted it herself!

D'oh!

But its v true!

She's gone quiet...

She's brooding.....

Bibi! Oi!

You ok?

After a brief bit of stalking detective work, it seems she is posting and cheery!

So not eaten by cats then?

No, not eaten by the cats :)

Sorry all, thank you for asking about me.

Have been in a bit of a funny mood, couldn't be bothered to keep going on about my frankly boring life atm.

Tried to call ex DP father today but no answer. Will keep trying throughout the week.

Generally trying to sort out some practical stuff such as using the Money Saver website for tips on reducing cost of utilities, phone etc.

Have done my budget for the next two weeks and done a shop (within budget, yeah!)

E-maile an old friend who knew the cap'n before I did so is able to comment specifically on some aspects of his character which is quite theraputic for me :)

Let me see, what else - oh, yes applied to join a local book group which I found on meetup.com and nearly joined another group which is starting up for people just like me.

I.E looking for friends (nothing romantic) for cinema trips, meals out etc. Chickened out of the last minute though since I remembered that I'm far too fat to socialise with strangers at the moment. Stupid isn't it.

There you go, told you it was all v. boring didn't I but trying to be a bit more constructive now.

Hope you're all well btw!! :)

OK bibi - join that other group Right Now.

Well done on the book club and bollocks to being too fat to socialise. Unless you are seriously huge (which seems unlikely if you have been riding a moped) then no-one will notice.

I am trying to decide whether to stay in my tiny bolthole when the 6 month lease runs out, or move to a 3 bed bungalow with views of the river and enough room for my kids to sleep over. It would also have enough room to hold parties for more than three people!

What do you think? I deserve somewhere nice to live but it makes the split seem more permanent.

Well, if you can afford it NoNames, I'd say go for the bigger place. Sitting in a tiny bolthole (once you perceive it as such) doesn't really help to improve anyone's mood.

I know what you mean about it making the split more permanent though, some of the things I need to do I keep putting off because of that feeling.

I figure that if you are meant to get back together it's going to happen (or not as the case maybe) regardless of where you're living. And you'll be really happy in the new place I reckon.

Then again I love moving so am a bit of a weirdo that way.

And you'll have a guest room for when i come to visit - where are you running to? Come baaaack :) :)

The moped riding was years ago btw - really am fatty mc fat fat at the moment :(

"OK bibi - join that other group Right Now"

They've all got profile pictures up though

Hmmm

I realised after I posted the above that I DO want the split to be permanent but I think DH still hopes I will go back (and the DC too).

So it will upset him if I look like I am moving on, separating finances etc. But it is going to happen eventually.

The "bolthole" is one room downstairs, two upstairs, centre of the village pretty and stylish. My MN friends nicknamed it "St Valentine's Home for the Disappointed"

The bungalow is a bit old fashioned and tired but has glorious views, a garage and parking and more space for visitors and family to stay.

About the photo - what about a jokey one of the cats? Just to get you started?

"St Valentine's Home for the Disappointed"

- it'd be the terminally disappointed if I'd named it

Mmmmh, tricky then since the bolthole sounds very nice.

Although again, the new place has lots more space and it won't have all the memories associated with it that your current place more than likely has.

Sticking with original vote of go for it!