Am I right in my conviction, lovely DP has done something unforgivable and I really think we're over

[IDontLikeDisciples]

We went out with a big group of friends yesterday afternoon,long pub lunch as most were off work due to the snow, he went home as he started to feel unwell.

I had a seizure in the loo, was taken to hospital by ambulance(this has happened a few times and is being investigated, possible epilepsy). DPs best friends wife came with me, made sure I was okay and was generally lovely.

I came home to a horrid email from DP, heres part of it

THANKS A FUCKING LOT, had half the village ringing me when I was ill in bed thanks to another of your 'episodes'. Can't believe you dragged Laura to the hospital in this fuking weather. You really worried people. I've had no sleep as the phone was contstantly ringing. Sort yourself out.

No 'oh my god are you okay?' etc Just that shower of shite.
I am stunned by this. What would you do?

people say they can't believe things and make justifications while they get their head around the new reality - it will sink in.

Depression is no excuse for that behaviour, btw.

Do not back down now.

Well she isn't saying that she doesn't believe you- just trying to find an excuse for his behaviour. Unless you think that she agrees with him that you were pulling a Gillian McKeith, then I wouldn't worry too much.

thesecondcoming, I don't drink anymore, maybe had way too much caffeine and sugar , but surely seizures don't happen to people because they are out on the lash?

What a selfish twat. Do you think you'll be staying with him?

I would definitely forward his email. He's a nasty piece of work and you're well rid. He deserves to be exposed IMO.

no, it's unforgiveable and the fact the only contact I've had was to invite me to the pub has further rankled me....

so he's contacted you after nasty email?

Yep. A text inviting me out, still not a peep to ask how the fuck I am....

Any thoughts on your work situation? I am worried that you are throwing the towel in too early. Is there a difference in requirements between the fire service and paramedics in terms of driving?

I wouldn't respond to him by text or email (or at all). Anything you say can and will be used against you. Just ignore him and get on with your life.

Eeek he's so weird. Run and don't look back!!

Yes, you are right in your conviction that he has done something unforgivable and that your relationship is really over.

Trust yourself on that and do not allow the torrent of weasly words that will stream projectile from his mouth when he realises this to sway you. Listen to your gut and your dad. They are talking sense.

It is a requirement to have a b license for my work. The main trouble is they are not recruiting full timers, only retained (on call) and requirement is I live 4 minutes drive from the station. Short of moving in next door theres not much I can do if I have license restictions....

Sorry, which part of him is 'lovely'?

As i said before, previously lovely.

Seriously, the man is a local character for being generally lovely and protective of his nearest and dearest. My cousin, knowing what I went through with exH was truly delighted thaat my new relationship was with him.

So thgis is what worries me, I'll be made to be the bad guy, yet again.

I don't think you will be made to look like the bad guy, not with the email he wrote (big mistake there!). Besides, you did not do anything wrong.

It is interesting, though, about his reputation as Mr. Good Guy. Talk about a facade........

Fecking facebook, big mistake. He's clearly pissed again and has but a horrendous status update. My dad is the only person to have commented so far, what a star!

9 missed calls from him too, shall I ring him back or just email him and leave it at that?

Sorry i just realised I'm spilling my entire life on mumsnet, I'm living alone and pretty damn lonely.

Oh no, what's he said now?

BTW, no, don't ring him back. Switch your phone off if he's pissed now and keeps calling. You definitely don't want to speak to him when he's in that state.

I wouldn't email tonight either - appear offline on facebook chat and make like you have gone to bed.

He really shouldn't be drinking, and fuck it, I'm a little in love with the man i can't stop myself worrying about him.

His status 'really feeling the shame, why does she do these things, talk of town for all the wrong reasons'

my dad put 'If this refers to my daughter it is really not wise to do so on a public forum, you should be feeling shame but for very different reasons'

Thanks Bertie, really not a good idea to talk to him when he's drunk and I'm feeling massively spaced out. Lack of sleep methinks.

Please don't worry about him - he has friends who can do that. It's a cliche but he really doesn't deserve your concern right now. (If you need more convincing of that, go back and read some more of the NPD thread - and the old ones in the archives as well )

But really it sounds like you need to disconnect a bit. Can you not sleep? How about running a really hot bath and try to relax for a bit.

Switch your phone off.
Do not call or otherwise contact him.
THIS IS NOT your fault, it is HIS.

Why would you be in love with him still? You are in love with an image, an idea, a myth. It doesn't exist - some fuckwit was just borrowing the "look" and sucked you in, it wasn't real.