Am I right in my conviction, lovely DP has done something unforgivable and I really think we're over

[IDontLikeDisciples]

We went out with a big group of friends yesterday afternoon,long pub lunch as most were off work due to the snow, he went home as he started to feel unwell.

I had a seizure in the loo, was taken to hospital by ambulance(this has happened a few times and is being investigated, possible epilepsy). DPs best friends wife came with me, made sure I was okay and was generally lovely.

I came home to a horrid email from DP, heres part of it

THANKS A FUCKING LOT, had half the village ringing me when I was ill in bed thanks to another of your 'episodes'. Can't believe you dragged Laura to the hospital in this fuking weather. You really worried people. I've had no sleep as the phone was contstantly ringing. Sort yourself out.

No 'oh my god are you okay?' etc Just that shower of shite.
I am stunned by this. What would you do?

Oh yes longtalljosie, I have no doubt it'll be that I overreacted and he was ill and wasn't thinking straight etc boo bloody hoo.

Good for you. Stay strong. Don't let him sap away the next few years of your life.

Yes - tell Laura. Let her spread the word.

I guess it doesn't really matter how you spread the word - but I would certainly ensure that you do. Phone Laura, apologise for dragging her off to the hospital, she will tell you not to be so silly, you can then say that your exP seemed to think you were out of order and sent you an email about it, she will ask what he said, you can say "I'll forward it to you if you like"/read it out for you" and she will be properly horrified! I think sending it to her is still the better option - then she can send it to everyone else.

And DUMP HIM!

You shouldn't have to quit work now because of seizures under investigation, surely? If they've been going on a while and a work medical screening allowed you to start, I don't see why you would have to resign at this point? What is it you do, if you don't mind me asking?

Yes, am puzzled by your mention of having to stop work - does your job involve driving or operating heavy machinery?

I'm traioning as a firefighter so it's no going to be possible. I passed the medical but that was before the seizures. I have a meeting next monday with the station manager.

If you hadn't heard that from his ex-gf I would have said make sure the email was really sent by him. One of my DSs got hacked once by a so-called friend who sent poison-pen mails to other friends, pissed them off mightily, and indeed lost him a couple of not-so-close friends who either didn't realise or didn't believe it wasn't him.

But given this guy has form, he probably did both send and mean it.

Back on topic, I've just sent laura the email asking her what she thinks aboutr it, this could be interesting....

anniegetyourgun, how odd. A couple of months ago he sent me a really nasty message on facebook. He then backtracked, told me that he had 'lost a bet' wtf!? And that his brother got to choose any of his contacts and message them. I thought at the time it was so ridiculous you couldn't make it up but now I'm thinking otherwise.

I would forward the email on to Laura, and say something like "goodness Laura, I hope you dont feel this way. " or something

ditto what everyone else has said about him being a utter twat. but I wanted to say - are you sure you need to quit work? You're ill - and that doesn't/shouldn't mean you have to resign. my db has developed epilepsy in the last 2 years - it took a while but, fingers crossed, they've got the medication right and he hasn't had a seizure for 10 months now. I would get advice re employment before doing anything drastic. I hope you get a diagnosis and get sorted healthwise and I hope this prize arsehole gets his comeuppance.

[anyone remember when mners shafted a (iirc) 2-timing dickhead? I can't remember the details but it inolved a massive wind-up at a zoo...]

just cross-posted re work. still think it might be worth maybe contacting one of the epilepsy charities for advice though - maybe you'd be entitled to something like health-related termination of contract - rather than you having to resign. I have no idea, btw, just seems worth while getting advice.

Ah, I thought it was paramedic, sorry. Still, shouldn't make much difference if you are getting appropriate medical treatment. Perhaps get some advice from the union?

Forward the email to any mutual friends who were at the pub, with nothing more than 'Thanks everyone for your help after I had that seizure. Would you believe that I got home from the hospital to find this in my inbox from my boyfriend..."

hatwoman - are you referring to Jane and the Penguins?

yes...penguins rings a bell...don't meant to hi-jack - it just struck me that every now and then a prize arsehole reveals himself to mn and IDLD's (ex-I-hope) bloke is one of them.

I don't feel the need for revenge, I used to think Karma would do its job but it still hasn't happened to my exH.....

IDLD - it's NOT revenge! It's self-preservation - if you want your reputation amongst your friends to remain unsmirched, you need to take preventative action. Your exP will be sure to blame you in every way possible, and if enough shit is thrown, some of it sticks.

So for your OWN sake, let's hope Laura sends the email further on.

Oh dear, Laura just rang me , she was so cross she got her husband out of bed to read the email. I have a bad feeling about this, he is Ps best friend, maybe I should have left them out of it....

What did she say?

(sorry about the job thing btw, I am not trying to trip you up, I was just confused because I remember some of your past posts saying different things)

Don't be daft!!! YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT HERE!!
If he has been shown up to be a monumental arse, that is only because he IS ONE!

I can almost see you thinking "oh no, now I'll have upset him, he'll never talk to me again, I should have just kept quiet, perhaps it wasn't that bad really..."

HE DESERVES IT!

Sorry for shouting.

they now know what a dick head he is dont they... Good for you

Possibly he won't be ex-P's best friend much longer. Go on... email it everywhere. For the good of all the other women in the community!

It's always nice when a total dickhead is also not very bright, and provides written, digital evidence of their dickheadedness for you to pass on at will.

Laura said she really can't believe it, he can't be the same man she knows etc etc, she pondered if his depression is getting worse.

And therin lies the trouble, as I have with my ex and too many women find...people just can't believe that their friend/ brother/ son isn't the pefect man he seems and the womans integrity is called into question.