Husband left after affair but want him back

[solost]

Hi, am new to mumsnet have never done anything like this before so here goes. In mid August I found out my husband of 17 years has been having an affair for 5 months with a 'work colleague'. He left me and our 3DC's within a couple of days. Since then he has visited us often, is attentive and caring towards me, and when he is working away - which is quite often, calls or texts frequently to talk to the dcs but inevitably ends up speaking for hours to me. He maintains he loves me as much as he did before the affair, that I did nothing wrong, that he was not disastisfied with any aspect of our marriage - I was the perfect wife? But the feelings he has for the OW are 'deeper'. Is there any hope for us? I feel that he is living a fantasy and that one day he will realise this and what he has thrown away - am I deluding myself? Please help, I miss him so much, have been with him since I was 15 and really don't want to give up on everything we had.

link to new thread by Solost for anyone following.

Thanks TPPW! See you on the new thread x

Miss Pretty you forgot to mention that the good doctor also has the power to resurrect a thread that's been dead for years

OP, why do you think he's "confused"? That's like gaslighting yourself.
Your self esteem seems very poor at present and you have not switched into a more healthy angry/outraged mode at his decamping to live with OW.

You say you still want him but really the only real way you have left to make things fairer is for you to fight back or he will continue to take the piss. Make him choose without delay, and if his choice is to return to your family let it be on your terms. He has forfeited the right to make you grovel, which is in effect what you are doing at the moment.

OK..dead thread

SHANNA222. Do everyone a favour and create a spell that enables you to Fuck Off up your own backside. Where you will feel quite at home with all the shit you are speaking. Why would ANYONE want an Ex back. They are ex because you don't want them or they don't want you. Simples.

You have to listen to him and believe what he says. He has something deeper with her. He loves her so much he left his home, you, and three children. Now he's trying to have his cake and eat it - to keep you dangling while he goes back to her every night - ears with her, sleeps with her, has sex with her. You're doing the Pick Me dance and he's basking in the attention of two women. Is that what you want for the rest of your life?

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

Reported.