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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband left after affair but want him back

958 replies

solost · 14/11/2010 21:57

Hi, am new to mumsnet have never done anything like this before so here goes. In mid August I found out my husband of 17 years has been having an affair for 5 months with a 'work colleague'. He left me and our 3DC's within a couple of days. Since then he has visited us often, is attentive and caring towards me, and when he is working away - which is quite often, calls or texts frequently to talk to the dcs but inevitably ends up speaking for hours to me. He maintains he loves me as much as he did before the affair, that I did nothing wrong, that he was not disastisfied with any aspect of our marriage - I was the perfect wife? But the feelings he has for the OW are 'deeper'. Is there any hope for us? I feel that he is living a fantasy and that one day he will realise this and what he has thrown away - am I deluding myself? Please help, I miss him so much, have been with him since I was 15 and really don't want to give up on everything we had.

OP posts:
cindystill · 15/11/2010 11:28

As SGB suggests - are you looking for an open relationship in life? Is that how you want your future?

But, as WWFN says - be more pro-active in making a life for yourself.

Don't stay in the 'mug' position. I am sure you are worth more than that.

thumbwitch · 15/11/2010 11:30

cindystill - I would imagine he has gone back to the OW when things calmed down with her, having spent the fraught period back with his family.

Who does that to their DC, never mind their DW??

forevervacuuming · 15/11/2010 11:34

Whoa there!

Stop his visits to you and do handovers with the children on neutral ground

Stop picking up the phone to him, unless you haven't arranged handovers and even then keep it short and to the point
("every morning, after school and before bed regardless of his plans" would rotyally piss me off, and I say that with an XP with whom I mostly get on with like a house on fire).

Stop letting him come round when they've had an argument.

Take your life back and then have a good think about whether you want him back, because I'd bet that if you can do this, once you realise how independent you are and see him for what he really is, you won't want him back.

forevervacuuming · 15/11/2010 11:35

*royally

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 15/11/2010 11:44

Solost Okay, you tell me whether you think this is what happened?

You had a great marriage and loved eachother deeply. But you never had a discussion throughout that marriage about how you would both deal with temptation. If you ever discussed infidelity, you were both utterly condemning of it and assumed that if someone was seriously tempted by someone else, something would be seriously wrong with the marriage. Therefore you never once acknowledged that temptation is in fact perfectly normal and that in a long marriage especially, the lure of sex and romance with someone new could become pretty intoxicating and hard to resist.

So your H, who always took such a hard line about affairs and temptation, was completely blind-sided when he found himself tempted by an affair. He never thought this could happen to him and consequently, placed far too much emphasis on the heady feelings of excitement and lust and convinced himself that since he wasn't the "sort of man" who had tawdry affairs, this must therefore be love.

In other words, he is a romantic idiot who cannot tell the difference between limerance and proper love. In his idiocy, he continues to believe that it was nobler to leave a good marriage and his family, once he'd been unfaithful. No doubt he is now surveying the utter folly of that decision, the "love" feelings are fading and replaced by rows and recriminations and a huge part of him is realising that he has made the most monumental mistake.

However, he clings to a mixture of pride/inability to admit a mistake and feelings that he has made his bed and should "suffer the consequences".

This is man who cannot bear to be wrong and likes to pretend to himself that he is a "good man" who cannot live with deceit, so he simply had to "do the right thing" and leave his wife and children for what was actually an infatuation.

Damned right he is telling you the truth when he says he still loves you, there was nothing wrong with your marriage and that you were perfect for him. Even he realises that he cannot rewrite history, but of course this adds to his confusion, because he never gave any houseroom to the notion that he was just like every other human being and capable of temptation. He thought he was above all that, but it turns out he wasn't and he was like so many other people in long marriages and let his dick and his need for romantic escapism, overrule common sense and pragmatism.

Romantic idiots like this shouldn't be let out on the streets after dark, because they cause untold harm and destruction to others' lives and especially their own. He isn't the first and he won't be the last person to confuse limerance with love and unfortunately, more men are doing this than ever before.

The root cause of it is a complete lack of realism about temptation.

Now, I suspect what's happening here is that because of his romantic idiocy, he is utterly bewildered about how he's come to be in this position. He is terrified that he has burnt his boats with you and no doubt did a good job of "re-claiming you" with sex when he got kicked out and stayed the night. He might even have engineered the row with the OW, so she would do just that and provide him with an excuse to have sex with you again.

He wants to keep you "on side" so that when this does finally burn out (and by the sounds of it, it will) he can be welcomed with open arms back to the happy homestead, contrite, but not a great deal wiser for his "adventure".

Now if you know that you can try to forgive your particular romantic idiot, then kick- start the plan I suggested and have some fun doing it. Note I said "try to forgive" because in truth, you cannot know yet whether you ever will forgive - and when your plan works, you will need to completely change the conditions of your future relationship and knock his ludicrous delusions about being a "decent man" into shape. He is going to have to change a lot but so are you.

Once he sees you moving on (and use that jealousy of you meeting other men to spectacular effect incidentally) and decides he wants to come back, say no, until he has lived on his own having ended his relationship. Don't let him back too easily. Make him fight for you. Who knows, by that time you will have lost patience and would prefer a more realistic man who doesn't get carried away by the lure of a romantic adventure?

But get that plan into action now and you will see truly miraculous developments.

Shammalamma · 15/11/2010 11:46

this is very common that men to and fro for a bit before plumping for the mistress
TAKE CONTROL

cindystill · 15/11/2010 12:09

're-claiming you' with sex is a good phrase. Emotionally, how did sex with him make you feel afterwards when you thought about it? Did it help you self-esteem? Did you feel nice about yourself or did you feel rather used?

Yes, keeping his options open and marking his territory too?

AnyFucker · 15/11/2010 13:41

Solost...you are still sleeping with him, aren't you ?

You must stop doing that

And everything else that WWIFN said

solo · 15/11/2010 13:50

He's in lust with OW and in love with you more than likely. He has no responsibility with OW and IME, men in general can compartmentalise their lives and one part of it doesn't cross into another.

Hope you find happiness in some way ~ either with or without him, but on your terms.

solost · 15/11/2010 14:40

ROMNEYMARSH: We seem to be in exactly the same position. Reading your post is like reading my life. It feels so bad don't it, was so angry and desperate at first but now just feel sad that he REALLY can't see what he's throwing/thrown away. x

CINDYSTILL: He moved in with her straight away and is still living there. Re: his sex life, reading between the lines there are big problems there, he maintains and I believe him that they never had intercourse until he told me and after he left. Not that it makes any difference. The emotional side of things hurts more than the sexual side to be honest.

OP posts:
solo · 15/11/2010 14:46

Of course you know him and I/we don't, but I find it hard to believe he didn't have sex with OW before he left you. I don't think men are wired that way.

solost · 15/11/2010 14:54

WWIFN: You are so insightful and wise, and completely correct. How do you know so much? Everything you write is true. do you know him? you have is personality down to a t! He has told me before he feels his OW is his 'soulmate' - god I hate that phrase and the fact they met each other as 'miraculous' - it seems like it's someone else inhabiting his body, he would have pissed himself laughing if someone else would have come out with that crap before this. Also the other day when he was looking at old photos of the DC's he found one of me holding one of them and was genuinely shocked by how much I then (6 yrs ago) looked like his new love. Felt like I have been replaced by a younger version of myself - weird or what.

ANYFUCKER: What do you think? Know it's wrong but still want him so much, it's so much more passionate now. I know, I know, too much info. Things like this I could never discuss with anyone in RW.

OP posts:
solost · 15/11/2010 15:00

CINDYSTILL: I felt like he still loved me, like he still wanted me, that while ever his still wants me there is still a chance for us. And now I have written it down, it seems so pathetic. But it doesn't feel like that. When he is around he is always touching me - not sexually, just touching my arm or back, like he is trying to reach out or something. Am not making sense am I? Know what I am trying to say but is so hard to articulate it sometimes. Just feel like the true person is lost but is still in there somewhere.

OP posts:
solost · 15/11/2010 15:03

SOLO: He said they didnt have intercourse and do believe him. We have been together since we were 14/15 and have always been completely honest with each other. When I found out, I made him tell me every detail of what had gone on, where they met, what they did etc. and for hours he sat and told me, he was crying and so ashamed of himself and what he had done but I believe he told me everything.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/11/2010 15:09

Solost..."so passionate now" ??

It's not "passion", it's "competition" and "desperation" and that will be the end of any respect he still feels for you. Can you not see that ?

please, please stop letting this man shag both of you at the same time. He is like a dog with two dicks, seriously. Why do you think he is such a "prize"...

I think you should consider a visit to the GUM clinic. This kind of man is not going to be looking after your sexual health, I am afraid.

AnyFucker · 15/11/2010 15:10

What is so good about him ?

No man is worth this no man

SparklingExplosionGoldBrass · 15/11/2010 15:11

Honestly, he wants to have both of you. You are the mother of his DC and a large part of his life, she is someone he lusts after (nd you are probably onto something with the thing of her looking like a younger version of you - he wants his carefree youth back, as well.)
However, if you can accept at all that you will share him with other people now and in future (and you don't have to do this if the idea appals you, it's merely one of your two available options) you have to get tough with him and point out that there has to be effort on his side to consider both your feelings and indeed hers.

AnyFucker · 15/11/2010 15:16

"share him ??"

Fuck, is he twice the man he should be ? I don't think so...

OP, if you consider "sharing him" with another woman (women...because he won't stop at one, will he ?) make sure you get yours too

shared custody of kids, shared custody of looking after his mighty dick

what a fucking prospect !

< spits feathers >

cindystill · 15/11/2010 15:38

Share him?

That's nice for the kids.Confused

cindystill · 15/11/2010 15:38
Sad
cindystill · 15/11/2010 15:42

He says 'she is his soul-mate'.

Charming!!!!!!!!!

And why is it more passionate - because you are trying to win him back in making love, and his ego is boosted immensely.

I know you have said that he states they haven't had intercourse. I would find this hard to believe, but I am always willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

But, I don't know him and he is making me angry.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 15/11/2010 15:58

How do I know so much Solost? How come I got his personality right? Not because I have psychic powers, I assure you, but because like millions of people before him, he is following a script.

Soulmate my arse Angry. He's just a normal bloke who married his teenage sweetheart and feels he's missed out, that's all. The same could have happened to you, incidentally and does to a lot of women, but I expect you had more sense.

Stop having sex with him and stop any relationship with him at all, outside of necessary communication with the children.

It will especially help you to emotionally detach when you wake up to some of your own delusions. Of course he had sex with the OW before he left. He'd be the first man I'd ever encountered who left a wife, DCs and a home before he had a physical relationship of some sorts, although I have come across a few Bill Clinton types of both genders who pretend that oral sex isn't infidelity - but even more who lie about it completely.

Second, he is getting his ego stroked in massive quantities at the moment by two women who are pitting themselves against eachother for his attentions. You are trying to be his mistress and get one over on the OW by having sex with him. Well, who benefits from that, exactly? Yes, it's him. I bet you never dreamed you'd ever lose your dignity so much that you were prepared to share a sexual partner. Please stop doing that, you will feel horrible when you look back one day.

Third - and this is partly what I was attempting to do in my previous post, you need to start laughing at him and taking the piss. What a fake he is, this "decent honourable man". This story is not new, this is no grand love affair to beat all love affairs. He is a common or garden adulterer who is on a massive ego trip.

Get angry, get wise and get tough.

cindystill · 15/11/2010 16:00

Also, it smacks a bit of 'playing with your emotions' eg he knows you are still very much in love with him, and the little touches etc. when he sees you are like nuggets of gold to you.

His actions will ultimately be what matters. That is how you will know how genuine he is towards you.

cindystill · 15/11/2010 16:06

I am sorry but having sex with him will just make you more vulnerable emotionally and get more attached to him. He knows this.

cindystill · 15/11/2010 16:08

It's harder to be strong when you are having a sexual relationship. It does affect your judgement.

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