It's all about him

[BibiBlocksberg]

Can't believe I'm going to even talk about this without namechange but need to know I'm not imagining things. So, dp and I were laughing at the cat who was all snuggled into him this morning and started purring loudly when started to stroke and fuss her. Cue us laughing about how much she's enjoying being fussed.

Dp turns round to me and says 'I haven't been fussed in ages (in little boy voice) meaning sex of course.

We haven't had sex coming on for about a year now which is my fault since I have totally gone off it. Any attempts to talk about it have failed since he refuses to take on board some of the things I don't like/reasons I feel I've gone off the idea completely.

Have talked to gp 4 times now re no libido but other than swapping brands of the pill they don't know what could be causing it so am now stuck for ideas.

Anyway am just absolutely livid since it always seems to be about him him him in the bedroom. That comment earlier just made me so angry. Not 'we haven't done anything for ages, do you feel like it etc, no just He hasn't had it for ages.

All topped off with a wobbling bottom lip face and lots of sighing when i went to make a cup of coffee.

Just so tired of it all being my fault really, thanks for reading this ramble.

You see! I knew you were a nice person! There's no point making yourself miserable by being deliberately mean. You need to look back and know you kept your dignity/integrity. Just put the wrappers in the bin and leave him the coconut ones.

I know AF, there's a spare bed in circulation since no one can afford to buy one. Father has a van which he will use to transport the spare bed from Capn's brothers house to mother's house.....blah blah blah.

Too boring for words. All I care about is that it is happening. He said he'd be out of my hair by the end of the week.

Fair enough. Not spineless, considerate and kind.

the end of which week ?

you are being played, bibi

and you are going along with it

like you went along with everything else

wise up, love

This next week coming.

Yes, probably too stupid for words and gullible and everything else :(

Hey chipmunk, just popping in to say great that you've got an agreement that he will leave. Not great that you are having to wait - what's the betting that this mysterious bed will not arrive this week, or next. Can it be picked up tomorrow? He's procrastinating.

Things aren't cut and dried in real life - it would be unlikely that this would just finish just like that, a clinical end. It was bound to be a bit messy.

But don't start to cave, don't start to give concessions etc. As said below, if this all turns out to be a terrible mistake, then you know where he is.

Can you book back into the hotel or something while he summons the energy to move? Or stay with that friend?

Thanks all just feel too stupid for words and embarrassed that I keep blurting out the truth about everything.

Evidently am too thick to see what he's doing AGAIN.

Thanks again for all the help.

You're not thick, and it's good that you're telling the truth as it happens - there is nothing wrong with asking friends (or pretend virtual internetty friends) for another perspective when you're too mixed up in the middle. I've had a shit couple of days, and my friends have been invaluable, they see things so differently and have totally changed my mind around.

hey, I totally get that you are posting things as they occur to you

like a running commentary kinda thing

nobody on here thinks you are thick...only he thinks that

Sorry, really touchy about the whole thing tonight. Sorry to hear about you've had a couple of crappy days elephants.

A couple of people in real life have said to phone them if I need to. Just can't bring myself to interrupt their lives just to listen to me going on.

Hence my overuse of this forum. It helps to write about this stuff and get the occasional response. Less lonely than just writing in a diary I mean :)

right then. He said he'll be gone by the end of the week. You've been kind. If no bed by then/he was procrastinating. Tough. He can sleep on floor of his mum's spare room. or buy a cheap mattress/camping mattress/ borrow a futon type mattress.

Everything will be alright

a1b2 - agree with that especially after what everyone said to me tonight.

Quizzed him as to exact arrangements re the bed and moving and was all very convoluted. Lost track of who is supposed to be where with this damn bed now.

Plucked up courage to tell him that ive been more than reasonable and I am a human not a machine and just need him out asap.

Unbearable situation really, forced to play 'normal life' in this tiny house and he will have to sleep on the floor
as you say a1.

Thx for the kick everyone :)

Does the dollar store sell blow up mattresses?

Oops--the pound store.

SIGH! He's just stumbled out of bed and announced he's ill.

I don't believe a word of it. In a house this size I would clearly hear a grown man throw up!! Nevertheless that's what just happened according to him. FFS!!!

How convenient for him that this should happen to him now!

Oh Bibi, I've caught up with this and I'd be astonished if this wasn't another of his ruses. Hopefully one that rams home what a weak, but rather sly, man he is.

Be strong and read the thread from the beginning.

And make him move out NOW.

I've slept on bare floors before and he won't die from it.

Just tell him if he is that ill he had better go home to his Mum now so she can look after him. Sleeping on the sofa would be better than the floor at yours.

You are doing well. Its him being a pain.

Hahahahaha

sigh...

As the thred is so aptly titled : It's All About Him!

He'll live. No reason to delay moving out.

how far away is his mum's? can you take his ps3 and everything over there?. If he is too ill to get on with moving, he is too ill to play! (like a child, too ill to go to school, stay in bed and no computer or games) His games will be waiting for him at his mum's for when he feels better!

Discomfort of the floor at his mum's will not be noticed much when he is engrosed in games. He might notice he is a bit achey when he tears himself away to go to the toilet! Or maybe she will let him use the sofa and main TV screen?

Oh Bibi. We're all ill now or I really would come down and drag him out of there. And we're actually ill, not pretending in a desperate attempt to manipulate some poor long suffering woman into feeling sorry for us.

The end is in sight. Can you point out to him that he will be best off at his mum's as she can then listen to his whinging look after him?

Take yourself out for dinner tonight. After all, if he's ill he won't want to eat, will he? Take a book and bloody well enjoy it.

Hi all, sorry Internet's been down at work all day.

Felt like someone had chopped off a limb - the work I had to do today, you wouldn't believe

Dread to think what I'm going to find when I get home - he sloped off back to bed this morning but I managed not to give him ANY attention so that's progress at least.

Am very tempted to phone his mother when I get home. Let her come and get him this is just silly now.

Although my friend says not to as otherwise he'll think I still care.

Arrrggh, bloody minefield :(

Is his stuff packed up, Bibi? I reckon it might be worth ringing his mum - or taking it all over there (and buying an air bed if that what it takes). He's just avoiding action, isn't he.

Yes Grace I have to agree now think he is just avoiding it.

Especially when I remembered that his mother HAS an airbed I know because we've borrowed it before. Grrrrrr.

It would not suprise me at all if when I speak to his mother she will have no knowledge of us splitting up because he hasn't mentioned it and lied through his teeth.

I can't be any nicer than I've already been, this has to end NOW.

Am off home now and will update on the dead man situation later.