It's all about him

[BibiBlocksberg]

Can't believe I'm going to even talk about this without namechange but need to know I'm not imagining things. So, dp and I were laughing at the cat who was all snuggled into him this morning and started purring loudly when started to stroke and fuss her. Cue us laughing about how much she's enjoying being fussed.

Dp turns round to me and says 'I haven't been fussed in ages (in little boy voice) meaning sex of course.

We haven't had sex coming on for about a year now which is my fault since I have totally gone off it. Any attempts to talk about it have failed since he refuses to take on board some of the things I don't like/reasons I feel I've gone off the idea completely.

Have talked to gp 4 times now re no libido but other than swapping brands of the pill they don't know what could be causing it so am now stuck for ideas.

Anyway am just absolutely livid since it always seems to be about him him him in the bedroom. That comment earlier just made me so angry. Not 'we haven't done anything for ages, do you feel like it etc, no just He hasn't had it for ages.

All topped off with a wobbling bottom lip face and lots of sighing when i went to make a cup of coffee.

Just so tired of it all being my fault really, thanks for reading this ramble.

Thirded for just a brief message saying am ok, not talking tonight?

What time does he normally get home?

Do nothing until he texts you and then tell us AF.

Whatever time he chooses nora, yet another irritant in the former relationship. Could be anytime up to about now being the latest really.

:) I can just about imagine the reply AF would be formulating for him, IL :)

I bet you all any money he'll mention the fact I've 'kidnapped' the car so he can't go out.

'Captain has a company car but not allowed to use for social purposes'

Hope he's being nice to the cats.....could do with them both right here now actually, fussing and purring.....

Wondering how long it will take him to notice that you aren't there. He sounds like a total knob. Loving your use of 'former relationship'.

I agree with AF, send text telling him you're safe and staying away tonight, not to call - and then switch your ringer off.

You could add a move-out-by date? Or have you got to wait for your landlady?

What have you found to watch on weirdy hotel TV?

Well, nora, there won't be one as soon as I can get him to accept the fact he's been (someone get the pom poms please)

D U M P E D

He probably hasn't phoned because that most exciting of programmes the snooker is on (yawn, yawn, double yawn) won't miss having to have that on the tv.

Spreads a right graveyard atmosphere all over the place. Silence.........clap clap.....4 hours of silence.....lots of coughing......

Can you tell I love that sport :)

He sounds like my grandpa. Swap the weed for fags and whiskey and the gaming for watching golf.

Right, I'll do that then, text to say am ok but not talking tonight.

Thanks all, was feeling like I HAD to talk to him but too tired to go all over it again today.

Flipping through various things Grace, they seem to have only freeview channels. Was watching Dave but now back to channel 4 news.

Might hire a film from itunes actually.......(skips off to browse rental options)

No, wait until he texts you. He will think you care what he thinks if you text first.

Damn, think you're right again IL (hope you don't me keep abbreviating your name btw)

Too late now though have just sent text. Didn't feel guilty though - result!

Only halfway through second glass of wine as well. Impressing myself here :)

hope you don't MIND me keep abbreviating that should be

Hi Bibi, have read whole thread over last couple of days and just want to add my support. You sound like a really lovely person and I am so sure you will meet the partner you deserve one day soon.
Stay strong and think pompoms. Hope you find a funny film to watch

No, I don't mind . Takes a bit to realise you mean me though .

I think it is ok to send the text when you did. It keeps the situation under your control and prevents a sneaky text/call catching you off guard.

You should wait for no man (IMO)

Fannyanny -tThanks for reading and words of support.

Just had text back - 'no problem, thanks for letting me know'

Arrgh, he's been infuriatingly what's the word I'm looking for......crawly since his teary outburst.

Don't like it.

it doesn't matter how he is

I really want to be just like you when I grow up AF!!!

Love your attitude!!!

bibi...it took me a lot of time and experience to get an attitude like this

and much easier for us to have "attitude" when we are not where you are at right now (although I have been, in the past...and done lots more "fucking myself in the head with stoopid men"...to quote the wonderful Amy W)

Fucking hell, I sent the same text as he did!!! To my child minder when she sent me a text to say she had run out of swim nappies for DS2. Not to the love of my life when they left me. See the difference?

the love of his life "that he would do anything to get back..."

Perhaps when he said 'anything' he got a bit confused (from all the weed, natch) and what he actually meant was 'nothing'?

"fucking myself in the head with stoopid men"...

Fucking hell, I sent the same text as he did!!! To my child minder when she sent me a text to say she had run out of swim nappies for DS2

I am wiping the tears of mirth from my eyes here!!! Thank you for illustrating the point so eloquently :)

Could someone humour me and put me right on this though:

I am convinced he is doing everything he can not to have a problem with anything I choose to do (to him or otherwise) right now so that I'll agree to stay with him.

He was going on about how he realises his behaviour has been totally out of order over the years blah blah blah

Bloomingnora that's EXACTLY what was going through my head - it's the sort of response I would get from the childminder!

Lordy lordy...