The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Vineyard.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus!

I'm Mouse and you'll find me snuggled sat at the back where it's warmest!

If you're sober, drinking, or somewhere between the two, you are more than welcome on board.

No judging, no cliquey groups and no closed minds here, oh no! Chances are, no matter how bad you may be feeling right now, one of the Brave Babes will have been there too!

So, come say hi.

And, to read the last thread and other journeys so far, follow this link

Apologies JWN, not directing it at you

Morning to all - especially jwn and desire.
I wanted to say something here, and hope I don't come across as all preachey...

I am presuming that the drink was doing some of the talking last night desire? I think that you and I are in similar situations - on our own with DC, struggling sometimes without the support of another adult, coming to terms with a failed marriage.

It's hard, sometimes lonely and not what we planned for our life. It's the life that we have though and there are always people far worse off. There will be lots of people reading this thread, who maybe don't post, who are in horrible relationships...we at least, are in control of ourselves and our lives - we can make our own decisions.
Hope you are feeling Ok today and can think positively about the week ahead.

JWN You weren't being smug....I know that whilst you provide a tremendous amount of support on this post, you also get strength from it. We all need to celebrate the victories -and what more lovely victory than a sober, content family Sunday.
x

Good morning Babes,

I've just read the posts from this weekend, and thought I would write a note a note while all is quiet here.

We had a very busy weekend socially, unusual for me!
Friday night we went to theatre, and I was fine before I went out, but, my word, did I want a glass of wine during the interval, the feeling didn't go away, and even though we were back quite late, I so wished that I had a bottle of wine, to stay up even later, madness eh!

On Saturday I felt really, really down, I think I was tired, but I felt as down as when I first stopped drinking. I railed at Dh that he just doesn't understand, and I generally was a right old pig. So that's why I didn't post (I know you don't mind, but I haven't got half the stuff going on that a lot of people have, so I think I should count my blessings, and get on with it). On Saturday night we met some friends in the pub, and that was fine, I drank softies (leaving out the "just"!), but no-one said anything, as I mentioned it's at home that I'm worst. All was fine.

Sunday, we hosted a big lunch, but that was fine too, and I gave someone the fizz that was left to take home.

I don't quite understand why there are quite a few days now, that I don't even think about it, and other times the urge is so strong. I also don't know what is keeping me stopped (day 19 today) really.

What I do know is that each time I feel desperate for a glass of wine now, I think to myself "why", what will it do?, when you get that lovely tingle going down, how will you feel about letting a glass of wine have that sort of power over you? It works for me for those minutes when the urge is so strong.

May I also say that because we don't know each other on here apart fromwhat we post, none of us really know anyone elses circumstances, and so what one person writes may grate on another, at the time, or make someone feel bad. I think that that is never ever anyones intention on here, and we would all be mortified if we thought it had happened. We are all here for the same reason after all

I love to read of peoples good days, this is such a roller coaster ride that it's great to see people up, and hope they stay that way, but also to see that even after a long time, they struggle occasionally.

JWN you never sound smug, you just post honestly, and please always continue to do so.

Sorry for the mega words. Hope you don't mind.

Have good days :)

And another thing :)
Desire I hope you feel ok today, did you feel a bit down last night. I hope you are ok this morning.
Mouse how is your poor mouth, and how is Nemo?

Morning everyone - hope your hangover cure works Whizz/wasindie

Well I started the smug topic yesterday and I apologise if it upset anyone. But I am pleased with what is going on. It doesn't stop things being tough - Saturday night I was literally clinging on to sobriety, right at the edge, sitting in the car outside the wine shop - and it makes me feel very grateful for moments like yesterday.

I am fortunate to have so much, but if I had kept on drinking like I was, I know I was risking everything, so I see it all anew and appreciate it all the more.

Hope you all have a good Monday. It is sunny and frosty here and I think my task today is to encourage my Mum to go out in her wheelchair. It is new and she has so far refused to go in it.

Venus Well done you :) for Saturday night. I find your posts inspiring, as afer such a long time of sobriety, you post that you still get the urge for a glass of wine, and recognise where that will go.

I found that I got really angry over the weekend, thinking s**t, it's been two weeks, I haven't got that bad a problem, and knowing that yes, I had.

The wheelchair thing takes a bit of getting used to. I didn't realise until some years ago, when I had an accident, just how vulnerable you feel in a wheelchair, and at the mercy of others.

Hope all goes well. x

We all have something in common, whether we're drinking or not. We are all strong and open and positive and when we get knocked down, we always do our best to get up again.

Desire and witchety, I hope the fried egg sarnies work. Desire I'm on my own too but I agree with witchety - if I was with a DP who was anything less than 100% behind what I was trying to do, it would make it harder. We're in control of our own lives and there are many ways to find support outside of a relationship. That's why we're here :) And I'm grateful you both posted about drinking last night, it's a huge help to me in understanding why I drink (hopefully drank!)

I echo the words of wise Venus, and am finding great comfort in re-reading "Living Sober", a great little book from AA. Go get it if you haven't already. I haven't been to a meeting this time round, although I made some lovely connections last time I was trying to give up. But I have no doubt that if I go back, they'll be waiting with open arms for me. I'm unsure as to why I don't feel the need to go at the moment, maybe it's the Campral (and I do urge anybody who's interested in it to give it a go) or maybe I've finally accepted my alcoholism and in a strange way that makes it easeier....

Last night in my journal I wrote a list to remind myself why alcohol is such fun. A few examples:

is it fun to get in the car after a bottle and not only put your life at risk but the lives of your passengers/other drivers etc

is it fun to have to sneak drinks when I'm cooking and then for DD to say "mum, is that wine in the red plastic cup that you're hiding from me?"

is it fun to desperately glug almost a bottle of wine before I go out in case there won't be enough wherever I'm going?"

is it fun to be at the GP's for an appointment with DD and to see on her screen in my medical records "family a cause for concern"? (and it was pointed directly at us, thank God DD didn't see!)
etc etc

please feel free to add to the list!

Morning All

Hope those with heavy 'heads' feel better as the day goes on.

Have caught up with the posts over the weekend.

Desire I can't imagine what your, or anyone else's, life must actually be like - we each of us only give a very small glimpse of ourselves and our experiences (current and past). What we all share in common (posters and lurkers) is a worry that our drinking is out of control. Tackling that is an individual challenge and the rewards similarly will be different for each of us. What motivates you to want to tackle your drinking? What is it that you want to achieve for you and so also for your DC? Can you write down what drink does to you and what being sober does for you? At the end of the day it is your life that you can change into the life that you want it to be not the life that you may think someone else has. Please do come back and post and let us know you are OK this morning.

Just looking out for redmoomin - how was your weekend?

Morning everyone

I haven't done very well this weekend. Drunk far too much Friday & Saturday night and then found myself having a few last night.

Feel awful, why do I keep feeling the need? All it does is drain me so I don't have enough energy to sort he DC's out.

Then one of my closest friends rang to say she was worried I am drinking too much!

So here's to Day 1

Wow. Lots of honesty posted on here over the weekend.

Morning all.

It's freezing here and the trees have been dusted with frost but look beautiful in the sun, they are sparkling. Tis very pretty!

Right, down to business.

Dipso - GREAT list! I have done something similar in the past. It really hits home when it's in black and white!

Wasindie - There is nothing that I can add to the words I have posted to you in the past so here.... {[{[{[x]}]}]} and

desire - so sorry you are having a tough time of it. Nothing to add really. You know that drinking won't help but only you can choose whether to drink or not. And, FWIW, I get it.

I was on my own with DD for 7 years before I met DH. Life is fucking shit at times. And living it on your own, day after day, being all things to all people as it were, can become your own personal hell. xx

thurso - hey. Thanks for asking about my tooth. For now, it is simmering shall we say! Nemo is ok, still bringing most feeds back.

Just a case of 'keep on keeping on' for me.

Hello all

Well done to those who have gone to bed and woken up sober; to those who haven't ... better luck next time.

JWN I certainly don't think you come across as smug or self-righteous ... maybe because I remember you from when sobriety was still just an impossible idea (I believe the thread is still linked to?)

Anyone who is doing this alone - why? There is all sorts of help out there and on here - I favour AA, but I know that other things work for other people. If you choose not to take it that's your choice, but remember no one but you is making you do it alone.

Morning MIFLAW - long time no see. How is MrsMIFLAW and bump?

Also sometimes they way other people view your life is all wrong, what I mean is that I am on my own with 2 DD and a hyper dog, I constantly feel that nothing I do is good enough, the house isn't clean enough, the dog doesn't get enough walks, I don't give 100% at work or to my friends & family, I don't do enough homework with the kids, the list can go on.

And yet a friend of mine recently said she envies me because I 'have is all together' I did think she was talking about someone else at the time because I just feel like I am failing all the time at everything.

Hi MIF how's things? Glad to see you're still looking in on us.

Zany day 1 is a good place to start. Was it the weekend activities that prompted your friend's comment? What are your plans for today - and do you have lots of good strategies for this evening. I am sure that people on here will be around to help you if you are finding it tough.

I think our lives may not be perfect Zany, but usually they are good enough. Good enough to keep us from harm, enough so that our friends are still around, enough that our dcs know they are loved.

{creeps back onto bus and buys ticket}

Morning everyone. :)

Did not get plastered over the weekend, but also drank at Sunday lunch, but stopped drinking and then onto herbal teas, so that is something.

Today i will not be drinking. I am strong enough to do this.

back on day 1 proper for me too

hi again everyone - as you're getting colder it's getting warmer here in South Africa - although it's wierd to see christmas wreaths everywhere in the stores!

DH back from London this morning and all is well....so far...!!

clear no need to creep and no need to pay for a ticket

Well done for switching to herbal tea.

Morning all.

Day 1 over here.

I just felt the need to add that although I have a partner I am still very much alone in trying to change my relationship with alchol.

My DH believes I should be able to just stop drinking after a couple, he doesn't understand that I can't simply stop, I have to make the desision to have nothing because I am not able to just have a couple.

Sometimes I envy others who are alone, they have no-one to hide from, no-one to feed your shame in the morning, no-one to avoid answering the phone to incase they ask "how much did you drink last night/what time did you stagger to bed last night?

Sometimes alone is better & sometimes it's the lonelyness that makes it worse - no win situation.

You did well Clear to stop drinking yesterday.

How are you today Desire

I confided in a friend on Saturday about my drinking and she told the friend who rang as they are both worried.

I really really want to cut down, to not wake up in the mornings feeling rough and to not spend so much money I don't have on drink!

Morning all,

Had a lovely weekend venus thank you for looking out for me! Have to be honest, I had a few drinks yesterday so I am actually feeling a bit under the weather today. Which is a strange feeling as it's been a while - normally I am either totally sober or so hungover I want to die and today I am somewhere in between.

mouse thank you for your honesty re the pinot. It kind of brought me up short.

My hair is so, so red! FB kind of persuaded me into it as he loves red hair! All going really, really well with him. There is so much going on with him actually but I feel a bit shy about posting it... What is very amusing/ weird is that I am only 5 years older than his eldest son. Argh!!! Am seeing XH tonight which will be... tough interesting.

Hope everyone is OK x

Glad to see things are going well with FB Red, fingers crossed it goes OK tonight.

Although quite a few on here today have sore heads alot of you have still cut down on drinking in the week so well done

I am not powerless. I do not have a disease. I can choose not to drink today.