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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So just phoned DH at work and they said he has theday off!!!

191 replies

memoo · 22/10/2010 12:25

Which is news to me Hmm

He left as usual this morning.

This is not like him at all, he is the most honest, trustworthy man I've ever known, so what the hell is he up to?

Phone his mobile but no answer

OP posts:
memoo · 22/10/2010 12:26

buggery poo forgot to mane change!!!! Sad

OP posts:
JaxTellersOldLady · 22/10/2010 12:26

maybe out doing a spot of christmas shopping for you! Is it your birthday/anniversary soon?

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 22/10/2010 12:27

Oh no. Do you want to talk on this thread or will you have it deleted and namechange?

Don't panic. It may be nothing.

SingingTunelessly · 22/10/2010 12:28

How odd. Any chance the receptionist has confused him with somebody else? Errrr......or arranging a surprise for you/shopping for surprise?

KatieScarlett2833 · 22/10/2010 12:30

He's probably having some alone time. A skivy day off where he gets to do what he likes. Not that I've ever done this myself, you understand.....

MissAnneElk · 22/10/2010 12:30

Could he have a lot of work to catch up on and he's told colleagues to say he's not in for phone calls?

phipps · 22/10/2010 12:30

I think he is surprise shopping for you.

Ring work again and get them to check?

memoo · 22/10/2010 12:30

Birthday has just gone and our anniversary was in the summer.

No point name chaning now I surpose.

sorry for any typos, have a very demanding 13mo so fast typing

OP posts:
memoo · 22/10/2010 12:32

He does have a lot on but his colleague who answered his phone knew it was me.

She said "oh he's off today" really casually and then there was a sudden change in her voice as if she knew she had said something wrong!

OP posts:
thatsnotmyfruitshoot · 22/10/2010 12:33

How odd. He couldn't be on a training course somewhere or out at a meeting, could he? Our receptionist used to get confused a lot with this, so it might just be that you've been given the wrong impression. Would also explain why his phone is off??

phipps · 22/10/2010 12:33

If it was me, I would text and say I am worried and need to speak to him right now.

pagwatch · 22/10/2010 12:34

what did they actually say?

My Dhs staff never say 'he has the day off' - they always have some phrase that makes youthink he is being industrious and would never be so idle as to have time off.. like 'out of the office' or 'visiting clients' or 'on a business trip'.
I somtimes get that kind of message when he has just got someone to divert calls for him because he has loads on - I have to say 'no, its Pag - put me through'

Have you called his mobile?

TorturesInAHalfHell · 22/10/2010 12:34

I would do this, and it would be totally innocent.

Sometimes I just crave alone time. A few hours on my own, no-one knowing where I was, so I can browse a bookshop and drink a coffee and whatnot.

I don't know that I'd dare to do it these days, but if I had a work environment where I was secure and I was good at my job, then yes, once in a while I might. And it wouldn't mean anything except the selfish desire to be solely me for a bit.

I don't know how you feel about the idea that he can escape for a day and you can't - if it's resentment, talk to him about it and see if you can have the same sometime soon - but it doesn't scream infidelity to me.

colditz · 22/10/2010 12:34

Send him a text.

RING ME NOW, URGENT

thatsnotmyfruitshoot · 22/10/2010 12:34

X posted. Maybe not then. I'd keep trying his mobile and just leave him a message to call you asap. There is probably a very good explanation.

Pancakeflipper · 22/10/2010 12:35

Has gone to a meeting outside the office?
My OH's office are often clueless to where he is.

Have you phoned his mobile?

KatieScarlett2833 · 22/10/2010 12:36

Tortures, are you me?

HappyWoman · 22/10/2010 12:37

oh dear
first of all check again with his work - could you get someone else to do this so as not to cause suspicion?

find a good excuse to phone again and when he does answer do ask where he has been.

Do you know anyone else at his work that he is likely to use as an excuse? Could you find out where they are too and maybe use them as a reason for getting in touch with him.

What about email - does he normally have an out of office on?

Stay calm - dont let him know too much of what you know just yet either.

If it turns out to be innocent anyway you dont want him thinking you have been snooping and doubting him anyway do you?

Good luck and hope it all turns out ok

memoo · 22/10/2010 12:41

Right, have text him saying I really need to speak to him now.

OP posts:
zombieinhighheelswhatnext · 22/10/2010 12:43

perfectly possible that as the phone rang he said 'who ever that is, tell them im not here'! offices can be a busy nightmare1

perfumedlife · 22/10/2010 12:44

Oh cripes, if my dh did that i would instantly think the worst. I trust him, he trusts me, therefor there is no way he would need to keep secret the need for a solitary day. He would tell me he wanted some time out, or a day dossing around music shops in peace.

Is your dh the type to tell you how he is feeling? Maybe with the young baby he was too embarrased to say he wanted some quiet time? Could he have taken the day off for a job interview and not told you incase you worried about potential new jobs security/lacation?

vbusymum1 · 22/10/2010 12:44

Could he have gone for an interview for a new job and didn't want to mention it to you (and obviously not to current job) in case he didn't get it ?

perfumedlife · 22/10/2010 12:45

Sorry, location.

perfumedlife · 22/10/2010 12:45

Mind you, if he was worried about current job finding out about interview, he would brief wife not to call the office.

HappyWoman · 22/10/2010 12:48

do you often phone the office?
Do you often phone or text him during the day?

If you are in the habit of phoning he would have told you something else and also if he was at interview he would have told you so as not to alert work to this.

When he does phone please dont tell him you have already phoned work - if he is up to no good and you tell him he will just lie anyway.

Good luck - have you got a good reason lined up for when he does call/text?

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