Would you accept your DH not loving you?

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Hi - just wanted some feedback as to how other MNs would feel about my situation where DH quite open abouly has always told me he does not love me (since soon after our marriage) and how it has always bewildered him how I have found it hard to live with that fact.

dittany - I strongly disagree. I am not broken. I meant he.

[hangry]! But only a bit.[hsmile]

I called it giving up because I have had failed relationships before and this time I put everything into it I could.

I did have a childhood (which was not abusive) but where there was a philosophy of soldiering on.

I don't know how you can be angry and smile at the same time!
Are you OK - I mean really OK?

Because I know I am not a broken woman - I have been in the past - so I know all about being broken. Yes, my spirit is, I recognise, partly broken; that is an inevitable consequence. It is pointless to be totally angry so I can smile as well because I know myself.

I am feeling a bit of a prat (not sure how you spell prat).

I know I am keeping my emotions in check and that is to help me deal with this. The floodgates will open with my emotions sooner or later but I know I want to get some kind of control back of them - rather than have them control me.

I have detached myself from my emotions just to put them aside. Maybe that is what I need to do as I spent years being upset and hurt - to no avail.

Well, while you're feeling detached why not use that to make plans to go away for a while, if you're not up to leaving permanently?

Don't you feel sad for your kids that they have a dad who is not really involved in the family?

What does he do in the evenings?

Yes, I would accept my husband not loving me if he told me he didn't. I would have to but I wouldn't stay with him. I would leave to find someone who did love me.

OP - you will get an awful lot of help and support if you just posted in a way that meant people could make sense of what you are posting.

In the evenings he relaxes. He works hard and has a demanding, responsible job.

I have been a SAHM and am currently looking for a job, by the way.

I have, therefore, done the majority of the parenting in my situation. I wouldn't say he was uninvolved but the majority of parenting has been down to me.

I know he believes that as I have not been at work, then there are quite strict divisions of roles.

Can you say a bit more about how he gets on with his children? Do they interact? Do stuff together?

Is this unusual?

Yes, they interact. He just doesn't do much stuff with them - which i suppose would be weekends.

It has been an issue with us, especially when the children were babies/toddlers, that I needed more help with them.

And back then, there were times when I struggled.

I have felt like a single parent but my H obviously provides financially for the family.

How do you feel about your H?

Do you like him? Do you love him? Do you ever get angry with him?

I don't know how I feel at the moment. I have got very angry alot in the past.

There is not a question here about us both loving the children.