PHBF I really hope you are ringing WA with, or on behalf of, pinkhair this morning.
I found them absolutely amazing. Please ask them if they run their Pattern Changing course where you are. It is really fantastic and will help change Pinkhair's life....it is free and she can self-refer to get on it. But sadly, they do not run Pattern Changing everywhere 
(If I ever come into big money I am going to give it all to WA to set up PC courses all over the country)
Pinkhair, you have done amazingly well. Just coping with being in a wheelchair would grind anyone down, let alone putting up too with the terrible cruelty that this man has heaped upon you.
WA can advise you on how to get out. You could go into a refuge if necessary.
My exH was a terrible jeckyll and hyde. I was involved with the police, WA and a couple of overdose attempts myself until I finally realised that I was NOT going to let my then-baby son grow up in such a hideous atmosphere and with such a shit father.
As soon as exH knew that my fierce love for my son and the need to protect him meant that I had become and amazonian mother, he knew the game was up. He cleared off abroad taking every penny we owned with him.
He was a very intelligent, charming well-educated man on the outside. He easily manipulated a counsellor he saw at my insistence at one point (he came back one night grinning and told me 'I can control the conversation in any way I like...she is not clever enough for me' 
)
I stayed with him because, well,
a) I had an abusive childhood and bullying parents so it was behaviour I was 'normalised' to (I had just begun to make this connection and have cut contact with them now).
b) I felt I had taken marriage vows and couldn't break them,
c) Because I sort of felt sorry for him for various things,
d) I absolutely could not see a way to make it work financially and I was terrified of being a LP with a small baby and no job
e) Because the sheer drama and shit of the marriage made me too bloody ill and exhausted to work out how to leave.
My exH did not love me. He did not love his son. He loved himself.
2 and a half years since he ran away now, and I am skint, yes, but my god I am happy and my ds is a very happy, constantly-laughing, loving, sociable, clever and totally unafraid little gem.
If the bastard and I had remained together I would have been in a loony bin by now and, god forbid, my poor son would have had to live with his callous abusive father alone!
Go go go PHBF! You are doing a sterling job...maybe start a thread yourself about your twatty H and get some support for you too?? xx