ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.8

[teaandcakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

Sov, glad you had a lovely day & that ds got on ok.

Getting, hope you have a lovely break.

LC, sounds like you made progress today .

Happy, great to see you back posting & glad you're doing nice stuff for yourself atm.

Well had meetings today. Am feeling a bit strange about it all. The bomb shell I was expecting never came. Progress was made on possible financial separation which xh is to come back & confirm or not in a few wks. Am now feeling a bit unsettled as xh is def up to something & I'm wondering wtf that could be & if I've made a mistake on what I proposed . God I hate this part, it's so bloody unsettling & you're trying to make the right decision. What really has me a bit unsettled is that xh did not discuss or look for access . Would love to know what the bloody hell he's up to, if I'm doing right thing on settlement & why in the name of God did he not even attempt to look for access

glad it went quietly today startin ,hope it all gets sorted for you soon x

Morning everyone

Well done on strength lc. Of course you have a breaking point (hugs) but you are so incredibly strong too.

I am still here but lurking
ow arrives today.... feel like Shit about that. We now have radio silence from h (quelle surprise) don't know how I am going to react to their holiday together hopefully I will just suck it up..... but I feel I have lost him forever now she has arrived. I guess a part of me thought he would never go thru with it.

Big hugs to all my dumping mates especially happy and lc. Xxxx

Starting just read ur posts about the feathers and it sent shivers down my spine....I do believe in all that as you know glad you feel more positive xxxx

Starting do try not to second guess him. That will drive you up the wall and cause you unecessary angst. Perhaps as you have said before his focus has been switched to ow .... use this to your advantage and try and make as much progress as poss with legal while he is calm ...... thinking of you.... the legal part is indeed utter shite.... Xx

Hi all

Tried to post earlier and lost it

LC, hope the night was peaceful

Starting, I'm sure your solicitor will make sure deal is ok

AB, must be horrible thinking about OW. Given what you said though, the odds seem stacked against him having s good time. How is the new house? Are you in?

Patience, hoping all calm with you

Sov, you did the right thing on the photo. I think his reaction shows that he will come good for the kids at some stage although sadly not yet

Waves to all.......old and new.....

I move in Sunday ...... I am staying with my parents until then. Hope you are ok today happy.

Started grinding my teeth in my sleep and my skin has broken out with the stress hope these nxt 2 weeks go quickly

Armbow, I bet he's dreading her coming as it's a big responsibility to entertain someone who's come such a long way just for you.

Don't imagine they'll have a great time cause chances are they won't and she'll wonder why she ever bothered.

Hi to all x

Fingers crossed pink !

Armbow, sending you big ((Hugs)), he really is being a total twat in bringing her here. Do something nice for yourself. I'm sure it's all going to blow up in his face anyway from what you've said

Well I have awoken in a RAGE. I want to rip xh apart. I also want to kick my solicitor into touch. I have overnight morphed into the wife scorned & I want REVENGE. Or at least I do not want xh getting out of this lightly. I have decided the deal we discussed y'day is a load of bollocks, which allows xh off too lightly. My head is racing with options, No1 is that I will tell xh to f*k off where the sun don't shine till youngest is 18 (given his age I'm liking this one as that would put him at 70 ) another option is I will stay married to him & withdraw the separation completely. I equally want to sue him for my loss of life due to no access to dc's. Why the f*k should he be living the good life & I'll be scrimping to survive. OMG I just want to kill him or my solicitor or just bloody somebody............AaaaaaaaaRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH.

Greetings Ladies from sunny Florida, hope the weather in the Uk isnt too bad. Hope you all have a great weekend.

Starting I loved your angels visit, I really believe you were blessed that day. Dont let your XH get to you, you have been so strong, but I suppose everyone gets days when we go backwards instead of forwards, its that rollercoaster that everyone keeps talking about.

Armbow hope your move goes well this weekend and again dont let your ex get to you with the visit.

take care all and thanks for your continued support.

Hi all. We certainly seem to be in troubled times don't we?

Starting, what a nightmare. This too will pass but I can see that that's hard to believe at the moment.

Hi Rom, weather v sunny here.

Given the troubled times are many up for a music night tonight or is it better for another time. Need to know as planning my eve.....

I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open already, so early night for me here However I hope you all have a great DJhappy evening

Quick hello to all

I'm shattered too Happy, haven't stopped all day and still loads to do :(

Starting i know how you feel, thats how i've been the last few days, X not seeing DC but off having the time of his life spending money on drink, drugs and his NW while i'm struggling to buy new coat for DS1 (someone at school ripped his new one ) and more clothes for DD who is growing out of the ones she has and countless other things 4DC need and the thing that pisses me off most is i can't go back to work :( to afford to buy the things i/we need GRRRR

I could quite happily introduce his knee caps to my baseball bat lol

Will try and get back on later see ya all then :)

Ok think we will postpone music night x

Evening ladies ..... Sov we also spent a lot of money this week on news shoes etc.... it all comes at one doesn't it? Meanwhile in my hs fantasy world he has totally abandoned all his responsibilities and will no doubt be stuffing £5 notes in ow knickers :o

Never mind .... onwards and upwards .....

Starting.... Ooooo I can almost smell the anger in your post. Do what you think is best re the legals do whatever it is that will help you stay calm and in control of your life.... if you think you will regret not getting more for you and the dcs then change the deal ..... but if you think you could stir up a hornet's nest stay back you don't want to be nervous about any repercussions, no amount if money is worth that. (())

Another night happy xxxxxx d

Well sanity has been somewhat restored! Managed to talk to my solicitor this afternoon & have pulled out of proposed deal of y'day which could have seen xh waltz off into sunset with a lump sum & me struggling to survive. Gloves are off . I have to say I only saw xh briefly y'day from a distance but he looked more normal then I have seen him looking for a long time. I did not pick up the usual insanity/anger of past two years. Anyway will see now what develops.

Sov, I am the same in that I won't be able to work for next few years due to dc collection at 12, 1.30 & 2.30, never mind the various activities! Meanwhile my x twunt like your's is blowing money on the good life & has abandoned dc's & left me with full responsibility like you . On the other hand I wouldn't have missed all the joy etc with dc's I've had over past two yrs for all the money in the world .

Rom, hope Florida is going well for you .

Armbow, hope you're doing ok with ow here in the background ((Hugs))

Happy, hope things are calm atm for you.

Waves to all.....

I think i have gone this year with a strength/head in the sand/rage of injustice combo thang goin on .I have come to the point when i can only wave cheerio to the life i once had: a genuine transition from the darkness into the light . Moving on and away from the life i once had.I have to look ahead now to 2011 a year of prosperity and divorce.
Popcorn in the house and meant to be a good weekend,going to take photos for my website.Take care everyone, wherever you are and whatever you are doing ,we will be ok x

thorn in my side

Hi all

Rom, I'm very of you being in Florida, I hope you and DS are having a great time

LC I'm so pleased for you that XP is now gone, it must be a huge relief. I read your thread and God how I laughed when I read what you'd done I cut xh's hair earlier this week and was tempted to shave 'weener' on the back of his head but lacked courage.

Starting, why should you struggle while xh doesn't? I'm glad that you had the strength to pull out of the deal and fight for a better life.

Armbow are you the one who's xh's other woman is coming from abroad and is expecting to stay in your home?? Sorry if I have that wrong, but if I am right, that is dreadful. It shows xh's lack of concern and respect for you If I don't get online again before Sunday I hope all goes smoothly with the move x

Sov 'I could quite happily introduce his knee caps to my baseball bat' I like it

Patience do you mind me asking how long it has been since your split?? You just seem so strong and positive, i'm just wondering how long it may be until I'm there.

Well the last couple of days have been horrendous. XH went abroad to be with OW/Not OW yesterday morning. I feel completely knotted up inside and my cruel mind is conjuring up all sorts of images after our 3 hour talk on Sunday I should have posted yesterday, I could do with extra support and kind words atm

Sov said a month for every year you were together Chyler so i reckon by Easter i will be about there,but yes i am moving towards acceptance ,better to have loved and lost than to stay under contract with the prick for the rest of my life LOL!Although i do suffer from shock anger and tears i really have had a lucky escape ,he is an arse and if i didnt have dcs i wouldnt have to see him ever again.

Hi all serenity intact after seeing Dagenham Women film. They rock x

Hope ur ok Chyler doesnt seem healthy if he is seeing OW and talking to you like a best friend that will screw you up big style,get some boundaries ,if he wants a seperation keep your distance if you want to keep ur sanity.

According to that scale by July next year I should be there or thereabouts. Seems such a long way off..

Forgot to mention in my earlier post, xh has told my friends dh that I am spreading lies about him. That is total bullshit, he tells lies all the time about anything, however small. I guess he needs to make his life seem interesting, it maddens me that he is painting my name black around here and, since the likelihood is that nobody will come and ask me outright, I won't get the chance to set the record straight.

Patience I think he's keeping me hanging on a string. When he gets back I think we need to talk and I then need to tell him to keep out of my life as much as possible