ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.8

[teaandcakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

How are you feeling a month on Tea ? Since that post you are taking ADs and also have been doing the course and certainly from your posts you sound in a much better place. Sometimes I think we are doing better than we actually realise and something can happen to make us see that. Look at WQ who thought she might still want her H back but after yesterday knows she doesnt.

I still wish I knew more single people in RL who can properly relate to what this process is like but now I never wish myself back in the ranks of the married. Those dumplings who came to my house will know that I live in white picket fence land and at times I feel like the black sheep. However a few of my close friends are deeply unhappy in their marriages and its unlikely to improve no matter how much they work on it , go to counselling etc and I am grateful I am not in their ranks.

Much as we do have the things to endure that you refer to in your post there are also so many benefits to being single and I find myself much more aware of those now. Of course that may be because I had so little of the things that are good in a marriage so I dont miss what I didnt have in the first place iyswim ?

I have just been for a walk , god how I love autumn, and thought about all the good things in my life and how the things that really matter are fine.

Tea, glad you like the song, i've been playing it a lot recently, it helps :o
My DC are like that all the time, everyday is a constant battle of wills from getting up to going to bed, tbh i think i'd be worried if they all behaved at the same time(probably plotting something lol) i just let it wash over me most of the time
Glad the AD's are working for you and your feeling better

Starting, glad your feeling better, we all have those wobbles ((hugs))

WQ, am glad you have 'seen the light' for want of a better phrase and are feeling more positive

Rom, also glad that you are feeling brighter and having a good day, hopefully today is good for you too but if you do start to feel yourself being down again just remember that this is all part of the process and you will get through it, our favourite phrase is....this too shall pass

Citydoll, please post as much as you want with whatever you want (((hugs)))

Getting, i hope you have a lovely day :)

My weekends been quiet, X called today and asked if could come see DC early as he had other plans so i agreed but tbh i dont know why he bothered, him and a mate had a 'pissing' contest last night, basically they were lifting weights to try to out do each other and although he 'won' he injured himself in the process so spent his time complaining about that, he got no sympathy from me, i just laughed at him lol

i feel a lot happier lately with my life and more positive, i do have the odd wobble sometimes but i cry it out and move on but there are times when i wish X would come back but then i think if he came back i may discover that i was actually happier on my own, it's all very confusing but i am still very attracted to him which is hard when i'm seeing him 3-4 times a week while he has a visit, wish he would hurry up and get his own place so that the visits here will stop

Hope everyone else is ok and having a goos weekend xx

Hello everyone. I think I might have to leave the thread for a while as serenity and dignity are evading me at the moment.

XP has officially said he wants to come back home and will cut all contact with ow. Something didn't sit right so I borrowed his phone and sent her some texts pretending to be him. She fell for it hook, line and sinker. Her replies have shocked me to the core. She is prepared to leave her DD age 5 for XP . I feel utterly dead inside. No serenity or dignity going on here. I feel so empty. You're all moving on and I'm drowning.

Thanks Sov had a busy day my cleaning car getting it ready to sell, another thing I have to do because DH has left!!

Getting - I have had two lovely long walks with the dogs today through the woods with all the leaves on the ground, I must admit I really enjoyed it. I dont like autumn too much as its the prelude to winter and my poor horse ends up wet and muddy for the next 5 months, plus wet and muddy dogs so Im not keen on autumn and winter anymore, Im a spring person.

I spoke to DH yesterday and got into the usual questioning talk again, he is still being an Alien, its so frustrating. So I am now going to try really hard not to ask anymore questions (It will be so hard as I havent got any answers) but he obviously cant answer them either. I spoke to him today and managed to keep it about general chit chat and even offered to get his DC any items he may need for xmas presents as Im off to Boston this week. I am still finding life difficult, its probably because its the weekend, todays a new day.

Hope everyone else has had a lovely day.

Sorry that should read tomorrows a new day!!

LC - quite a lot of us on here tried again with our H's at some point, I've been far from serene at times and so have lots of us. It doesn't matter. Share whatever you need to, you'll never be judged as we've all been there. What are you going to do now you know the OW is that keen to continue the affair? I'm gobsmacked she'd leave a 5 yr old DD What does your H say now?

You must be feeling very conflicted.

How's wallace?

Rom I've found this weekend hard actually. Especially today I felt isolated and lonely for some reason. H is now away with OW for a week in Tunisia. Are you going to Boston for work or pleasure? Sounds lovely.

Getting - I'm feeling a lot better, still tired of course I feel lonely at times but that's circumstances I think. I do not want another man though. It's confusing as we've all said before in this area though.

Tea - Im off to do my Christmas shopping, go every year with my sister.

LC - dont leave the thread you might need the support, you know you can rant or say whatever you want on here. Im sure everyone is fed up with me wallowing in my self pity but everyone is still so supportive. If I am moving on it is very slowly. LC you have always been so strong, I have no doubt you will get back to you strong self soon. Thinking of you LC. Hope Wallace is being good for you.

I love love love Wallace even though he piddles everywhere. Unfortunately, I have had to get out of the house as my head is going to explode. I'm in my DD's flat and xp is at home trying to cope with Wallace and ds and himself. I kept saying how I felt so sorry for him and when he said why I said because I would hate to have to live with myself If I were you. That made him cry.

I just think, what a low down dirty thing to do. Steal his phone, that is. OW's DD is age 5, adopted, born addicted to crack, possibly sexually abused. How could she leave her???

And I don't want to sound ungrateful. I love this thread but I feel I'm in such a miserable place right now. I don't want to bring anyone down. And I'm just a teeny bit mad with myself for allowing myself to get drawn back into that mad world.

Oooh sounds lovely Romney.

Don't even think like that. Now being a nice God fearing girl, I don't generally swear but B*llocks to your not wanting to bring the thread down! Sweetheart you will get whatever support you need here if you want it. It doesn't matter how you feel. We don't mind at all.

Wallace sounds lovely. Glad you're out at your DD's having a break from it all ((hugs))

LC - Dont feel that you will bring others down, I am probably one of the people that are at their lowest, and you have given me so much good advice and support. Dont feel you cant rely on us here, Getting, Patience, Tea, Happy and Sov who are the strong ones would not want you to go it alone. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

LC, dont leave, were here for you serenity and dignity or not it doesnt matter if your drowning let us help you stay afloat
It must have come as quite a shock for you and i'm so sorry but please know that we are here when you need us (((HUGS))) i will even give you my number so that if you want to talk all you have to do is pick up the phone
And i too am that she would leave her DD, especially after the start she's had in this world makes me soo and for that little girl

Rom, hope you have a fantastic time in boston so have fun and keep your chin up and tits out as patience would say :o
and you can wallow as much as you want we really dont mind ((hugs))

Tea, i know how you feel about being isolated and lonely, i dont really see anyone over the weekend as their all of doing something else but i am going to write a list of friends then start inviting them over for dinner occasionally just hope it works

I'd like to join you too if that's ok. I have been very quiet up till now about my own situation, I'm so much better at helping others than I am at helping myself.

I know I'm doing all the right things. Got a part time job after being at home for 13 years, going to college which I love, just signed up for voluntary work, am in counselling, got some really good friends and am making new ones but just cannot fill this void in my heart.

I cannot break contact with him completely. We own companies and property together and I am financially dependent on him. There is no-one at home anymore and the house is so quiet. He didn't even go to OW, he's on his own and on top of all that I know he doesn't deserve me! Fool that he is!

Welcome Karmann, you will be a great asset to the dumplings, you have given me so much amazing advice and been so supportive, thank you!

Hello Karmann, I've really liked your advice on other threads

I like (when I have time) to post in relationships too. However I am trying to not spend as much time on mumsnet nowadays. I can literally sped hours reading, lurking and posting on here

Thanks romney. So glad I have been able to help.

Hi Karmann and CityDoll where have you gone?

Sov, the dinner idea sounds good. I am trying to be v social atm also

Rom, you sound like u are making some good steps forward

Tea, I think I am moving forward still on the faith front - may need your assistance as so new to me but I am enjoying it

LC, you're going nowhere! We are here are ready to talk!

Getting, I know what you mean about the film. I hope I don't become Mary.

Starting, where are you? Are u out with Norm?

Waves to all.....my life at home is still like a TV mini series but am still feeling pretty happy despite that. So pleased to have lovely friends x

Happy - Do an alpha course, they're very good and relaxed. You can ask lots of questions. One night a week for a short while. It's nice, I used to help on one.

Hi Karmann welcome and you can trust us.

LC dont be ridiculous if you cant talk on here then whats the point..

Tea I want to do one of those like everything else I think about it but not much happens

Happy no really Mary is within my grasp - sighs at yet another fucking thing to deal with

Well I went to a fab fireworks tonight. A really good friend said to me " Oh how is xh's now ?" and I shrugged and said "I dont know painful I hope". She looked HORRIFIED* so I asked her why she seemed so concerned and she said " I asked as he is the father of your children." I though of your friend Tea you know in your re-post earlier. I should add xh has an injury not a disease. God maybe I am just an embittered bitch [couldnt care less emoticon]

Yep Tea - that's the plan for Jan. I am going with musicman. Wishing I had gone in Sept now but just hadn't quite decided then that I really wanted to do it. Have read lots about it and keen despite watching Armstrong and Miller this evening

Xpost

Getting, you look and sound nothing like Mary to me.

Oh Getting not at all. Your H is a shocker. Your friend obviously doesn't quite get it does she?

Oh fab let me know how you find Alpha in January What's Armstrong and Miller? [clueless emoticon]

Comedy program - check out iplayer

Sov just noticed what you said about asking friends at the weekend ime a lot of them are dying to get away and do something different.If you are offering dinner I am sure I could make myself available..

Happy its the wine connection !