ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.8

[teaandcakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

WQ I know ! Actually at the time I was grateful because it underlined his extreme self importance and arrogance. I have filed it along with this. A couple of months ago during a money chat he told me he didnt leave us but we separated ????? So I said said errr I dont think so you had an EA and then moved out. So He said Well its probably best if you think like that as it will help you to move on more quickly !!!! Quite apart from the rewrite of history the idea that I am still struggling to move on from that great prize I lost - wtf ??

The funny thing is because he always does all the talking he had no idea 10 months ago and no more idea now about what I actually think and feel. I dont really care , if he wants to think of me kleenex in one hand photo of him in the other every day then so be it

Diet buddies YES ! Lets give it some thought how to do it.

LOL at you dolled up at all times in case of ex's showing up !!

Back later

getting prob best if we do it off thread - shall i start a thread in the diet section???? that way we don't have to bore our dumpling friends with lists of what we have eaten/not eaten all the time !!!!!!!

i have just read my post back and i have inspired myself

nothing less than a gentleman, 100% treating me right 100% of the time is going to have the honour of calling me his girlfriend

men of the world take note !!!!!!!!!!!!!

(think i have had too much coffee!!!!!!)

Just a quickie.

In the car just now ds told me ow and her son have moved in with xh for 6 weeks while she has work done on her house.

I think I know where that is heading. I am waiting to feel upset but nothing yet

All of you are my greatest comfort at this really shit time in my life, I thank you for your wonderful encouraging words, I know they are true, I just wish my brain could rule and not my heart. What you said WQ is so true, I will copy it out and carry it around with me and when I think about my wonderful DH I will read it and hopefully in time I will realise what a tosser he is to have thrown away the unconditional love and great relationship that we had. Thank you Getting, Patience and WQ. You are keeping me sane!

romney - it a pleasure to be able to help xx

getting - oh bloody hell, not good that you had to hear that from ds, do you think this could turn into a permanent thing then? how do you feel about it?

warriorqueen's healthing eating thread

did you like what i did with the title - tenuous link or what ????

Romney be kind to yourself you are doing really really well. I didnt even post on MN until 8 months after my split began and many of my posts have been far more anxiety ridden than yours.

What I mean to say is why wouldnt you be feeling heartbroken and shattered atm ? But you will work through these feelings and it will gradually get easier and one day this will all be behind you.

As Patience would say this too shall pass.

WQ I have no idea if it will become permanent tbh I cant see why not in view of all the advantages of living together and xh doesnt like living on his own. My guess is when we settle and he moves out of his rented place he will buy somewhere that she will then move into in due course.

Everything that has popped up this last month makes it clear he feels sufficient time has passed that he can make decisions on the dc being with them both without consulting my views.

At the moment I feel indifferent as Happy pointed out a while ago as I dont want to be with him the dc seem ok with them what does it matter in real terms.

Lets face it some poor women/men have this sort of thing rammed down their throat from the outset so I think 10 months later I have to be pragmatic.

However for all my indifference I must admit I am still enjoying thought of his current broken bone suffering

Ok parcel tape or duck tape?
Friday is D day Getting half 8 truck will be here so school run and flit all at the same time ,
Rom can you do relaxation class to slow down ur thoughts, yoga, tai chi or something ,slow down the washing machine spin cycle brain thing.
Just think if my mind was reflected in my mode of transport at the moment i would be bouncing on a space hopper or a pogo stick ,i will picture myself sitting on a giant snail ,this will be my maximum speed after the move .So slow ....i want to be slow slow slow breathe slow ,walk slow ,talk slow ,think slow !!!!!

WQ buy the book !!!

Startin .......TOSSER!!!!

SOV ...thumbs up !!!

Parcel tape

Waves to all....

Sov, v sad for dc's that x comes to see them with that attitude . Hope things have improved a bit.

Tea, hope the vomiting bug has begun to subside.

Patience, you've come a v long way . Hope packing is going well & not too emotional. Absolutely love the idea of focusing on slowing everything down & know this is what I need to be aiming for too .

Getting, am [horrified] & again over "no good news for you" & "we separated". Based on that alone you could only wish him well with ow . Pmsl at your great sense of humour "kleenex in one hand & photo of him in the other". Love the idea of living each day as if it was your last.

WQ, lol at full make up & hair done . Loving the dumpling attitude though & agree it's healthy to be wary atm. To answer your question Norm has not met the dc's yet. Things have got serious as such with Norm & he has mentioned meeting dc's at future point etc but will prob leave it another few mts to be sure. It's still early days & all could come to an abrupt end if I discovered something that was a deal breaker or visa versa! The thought of introducing the dc's to anyone scares the hell out of me tbh or the idea of ever actually living with someone again or joining my dc's/his dd makes me want to run to the hills lol. I'm trying not to overthink if for now & just enjoy it atm as really it's v early days.

Rom, glad you are feeling a bit more positive.

Happy, hope all's well.

Ran out of boxes so quick break,
Thinking of wearing flip flops or very high heels in bid to slow me down startin,think i need to stop wearing workboots or trainers ,too fast ,always thought i would be ok to kick someone if i was wearing boots and feel very vulnerable in flip flops but maybe i will be more serene this summer and reach the point of true indifference

Patience, I wear flip flops a lot during the summer & apart from that wear v high heels most of the time, they won't work to slow you down...........It's an inside job . Have been working towards it myself with meditations etc but still have a v long way to go!! Glad packing is going well ((Hugs))

Mmmm Tai Chi lady today says slow down ur breathing and you have got it sussed ,well i am going to have a right good try !

Got so many crystal glasses i dont know where to put them but the china is travelling with the soft toys !

Lol at crystal glasses & soft toys . If you get your broadband working let me know & I'll forward you some good meditations for slowing down the breathing.

Took lots of photos of the cottage Pink ,thought of you when i was doing it ,another inspired top tip from Pink !!!!

Dont know cheapest idea re broadband ,dont know if i will bother with a phoneline ,will miss it though,will have to see where i can get internet access but dont fancy using public computer for business stuff etc,maybe i will find a wifi place locally ,would love breathing tips ,i think the whole diaphragm thing is what im aiming for,ok away to do last set of cupboards ,do you think i should clean the mouse poo,LOL of course i will ROFL ,i havent been trapping them lately ,i will miss my little mouselings and they will miss my cream crackers !!!

Hey all

am not reading just thought id pop in and say hi am off to bed and will read comment and ect tomorrow

Patience, have you thought about using a dongle?

Ive heard they're not up to much Sov ,think i will see exactly how much my bills will be b4 i decide anything but prob get a new phone cos this one all cracked and i cant do internet vvvvv slooowwww !

Loving the posts !

Listening to the radio re uni fees.

Will post later.

Thinking of you Patience, difficult time for you. x

morning girls, hope u dont mind me joining you?

its taken a good few days to read through the thread and am inspired u all sound so kind and genuine. aawww x

i posted before about hubby leaving us. its been 3 weeks and 1 day - am having more bad days than good days unfortunately

the kids are playing up teenage DS 13, DS 4 & DD 3. feel i havent got enough patience with them at the minute and i hate myself for it.

i hate the thought xh can walk away and lead a single, stress free life whilst i am left holding the babies!
he is at his parents being pampered whilst i am tearing my hair out whilst trying to cope with the heartbreak!

i wrote him a lovely email saying was sorry for the part i played in our marriage breakdown, saying would always love him and hope we can be good friends in future etc etc
he didnt even acknowledge it.
i dont even deserve that from him.

thanks for reading n hope everyone is feeling better than i do at the minute

xxx

Be kind to urself Sunny ,this is all such a shock 4u you really have to go one day at a time and make sure you do something nice for urself each day.Such a painful time and yes ,im right there with you on the opt out bit......where do they read that option in the parenting manual,by all means leave if they are unhappy but just dumping the childcare and living the single bloke life just shows them up to be selfish immature guys.Mine even told me how he was enjoying the peace and quiet and the long liesAnyway away to do some more packing ,take care of urself and keep posting lots of support here if you want it x

Oh yeah my H told me that too. Hello sunflower welcome.

My H has a dongle by 3 which he finds very fast to download/ connect Urban. Hope packing is going well x

WTF is that all about T [long lies not dongle lol]
Just saw him change into this 14yo boy re responsibilities and now he is a guilt ridden middle aged bloke that really and truly thinks this mess isnt anything to do with him !

Morning everyone.

Welcome Sunflower. In the very early days I sent xh a few texts along those lines and never got a response. A couple of times he would say he intended to write me a letter but it never happened. Sadly its all part of the way they detach from you .

Just concentrate on getting through each day for now because in the early weeks its so raw and dont worry about the kids the fact is you are there for them bringing them up which is more than he is doing. Hopefully before long you will begin to feel glad you have your lovely dc and actually he is the one worse off by not living with them anymore. Ask for all the support you can get in RL and here because we have been/are where you are now and understand.

Speaking of having our dc its xh weekend to have them and for some reason I am dreading it. Mostly I am used to them going but I think because its firework night and we always do something for that I am a bit upset. Sometimes when I think about it too much I find this whole one night in the week and every other weekend thing so unnatural. Of course the dc want to see him though and I know there are plenty of people who dont have our arrangement and wish they did. Thats the trouble with divorce isnt it its so destructive nad messy.

Well Campaign Me just isnt getting off the ground at all atm , a combination of hormones and underlying anxiety about when I will hear from my sol about xhs offer and what it will be I think.

I am still enjoying feeling detached emotionally from him though and marvelling at how I am in a place I wondered at times if I would ever reach